waffles are just pancakes that went to therapy and learned boundaries

Maybe I should have made my life just a little bit about me. There is no room now.

Good one👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻‼️

waffles are just pancakes that went to therapy and learned boundaries

Irrationally distraught that I don’t have a cool raven reminding me to do shit throughout the day.

a relationship should be 50/50, i buy him pokemon cards and bath bombs and he buys us a house

Y'all ever try overnight oats and then remember you're not a big fan of horse vomit?

She bouncing on it with the expressed written consent of Major League Baseball

If I ever die suddenly know that it 100% was from a knife fight with a dozen gremlins.

on facebook everyone is fighting a battle they won’t fucking shut up about

I don't want to "drill down," or "circle back" I want to go to sleep on the floor

me: *hits the sack* the sack: ow

a pair of othotic insoles could fix me

I found out recently my husband has been emailing me at the wrong address for over 4 years

Having anxiety is so embarrassing. You mean I get panicky, overstimulated and warm from a made up scenario in my brain?

Atm it’s tea

my mom always used to say you shouldn’t hate people and i’m here to say my mom was wrong

Grief eventually leads to joy, which you'll know when you've cried so hard your nose makes a noise just like a clown's nose being honked

Wait, don't go. I can fuck it up more

I dunno maybe we could get together later and sob for a little while y'know for funsies

live, laugh, launch my corpse into outer space

Would you like to stay logged in? Okay we'll log you out

It is my sincere belief that my office chair is ruining my body and possibly my entire life

a pair of othotic insoles could fix me

My five year plan? Probably just to say, “I’m really not feeling it today,” 1,825 times.

sorry I used the champagne cork you saved from “that special evening” as a buttplug

live, laugh, i sucked your dad off again

edging (hovering over “submit order” for $200 of shit i don’t need)

Yes, I reposted you. But I am not in repost with you.

You should hear the stuff I DON'T tell you people. 😋

many are saying this

Oatmeal is the ham of the grain world

live, laugh, i sucked your dad off again

I’ve insomnia..you’re welcome

Bringing a rock, paper and scissors to a knife fight.

Pissed off for being pissed off.

would like to put on record that my final wish will be to be thrown into the eye of an F5 tornado or floated into outer space whichever option is cheaper for my crush aka future husband to execute but not before uploading my neuralink data into a humanoid so that he can have her as a companion // ✍️💝

live, laugh, launch my corpse into outer space

drink water good posture good lighting good evening you're mourning the loss of a feeling a part of a process of living a vision to do what you're here to you're crying not sleeping i love you

Thursday? Feels like fourth Monday.

Me. ○ く|)へ 〉 All who ￣￣┗┓ oppose... 　 　 ┗┓　 ヾ○ｼ 　　 ┗┓ ヘ/ 　 　 　 ┗┓ノ 　 　 　 　 　 ┗┓ BUTTHOLE POSTS! 🔥🔥🔥

Making baby formula in the meth lab

edging (hovering over “submit order” for $200 of shit i don’t need)

There's nothing a good dick slap can't fix

Who needs enemies when you have your own thoughts

shit posting for freedom

Can’t wait to use my extra hour tomorrow for depression napping like God intended.