Pretty happy with my decision to do absolutely nothing again today

Pedicures are in the top ten least enjoyable experiences

Baby

A rainy morning with no commitments and you think I’m going to do chores? Go fuck yourself

Getting my shit absolutely rocked by the pollen levels

Sometimes I drink my coffee too fast and it gives me a tummy ache and I think that’s very unfair

This is what having a job is like

I can’t escape this cycle of waking up at 3am and falling asleep at 7:30pm

Good morning

Explaining to my friends that, while I am a ride or die, sometimes I will choose die

Sometimes cats will wake you up with a nice snuggle and sometimes they will wake you up by dropping a live spider on your pillow, you have to be ready for anything

Working out here for the rest of the summer

Going straight from heat on to AC is fucking stupid

Stores should open at 7am if I have to do my own checkout anyway

Noise cancelling head phones are the best thing that ever happened to me

this is not funny, Canadian rappers only do this when they’re in extreme distress

Good morning

hair smells like bbq burgers if you’re into that

“Next week I’ll get caught up” I say for the 417th week in a row

Carrying all my beverages up to do my little email job

I am going to shoot this day with a gun

I want the feeling of being wrapped in a big cozy sweater but I also do not want anything touching my skin, pls fix

What if a girl could sleep

Good morning

Why can’t ontario liberals stop punching themselves in the face

my attitude is awful

Good morning to the desk cats only

time to make the donuts

10/10 weekend

Cats really have the right idea about sunbeams

You’re literally allowed to just go outside and nobody can stop you

Sleeping for five or six entire months would fix me

Good morning

I bit my cheek this morning and then I bit it fifty more times

Guess who had to get dragged through the bushes twice to get her leash untangled

Oh they’re going to let the hantscruise passengers just go home that seems cool

it's every man's dream to inherit a really big expensive watch. it's every woman's dream to shoot someone through the eye with a longbow

My kid was a baby five minutes ago and today she accepted her first choice university program offer

inventing a kind of therapy where they just tell you what to do.

I brought my winterest coat to Sudbury for a soccer game and these people are wearing tshirts, it’s 5°C

My laptop restarted and closed everything I was working on so I guess I’ll just start a new life

I am not being properly compensated for the amount of problem solving I had to do today

Logging on

If the app for my car is going to send me an alert at 5am to let me know my rear tire is flat i should be able to choose an option for the app to fix this problem before I have to get out of my bed

We love a flat tire don’t we gang

“We’re so back” except it’s a second round of seasonal depression

Prayer chain time girlies!

Countdown to bedtime

Seasonal changeover from snowblower noises to leaf blower noises