aw no way i had a feeling you were a rock climber based on how you won't stop groping the doorway trim and kitchen counters

💩

meat casa eat soup casa

sorry for getting political but every time i read the name Karoline Leavitt i confuse it with Carol Krabit

There's an LED strip, y'all!

chess masters didn't go insane because of near-infinite calculations chess masters went insane cuz they dedicated their life to a board game when they coulda been fuckin

my character in NBA2k developed a gambling addiction

one day i will see the aura of boris in person

GTA 6 is just Star Citizen for normies

babe let’s eat the deer meat that gives us strange dreams

i am freaking scared

saw Mavericks was trending and thought the dang surf channel made its way to bsky

there's nothing more punk rock than basing your entire worldview on what some bald 17-year-old screamed into a microphone several decades ago

gold and tangerine shimmers along the tree line a monarch flutters

'thansk' is my new favorite typo

it’s 11/11 today, even if you’re british or whatever. make as many wishes as you want today !

never left (gang)nam (style)

the only continuity in James Bond is that he's a one-dimensional character who fucks

Tim Curry walked so that Jimbob Biryani could run

a darker, grittier Austin Powers movie

at your party fingering the strings of this bad boy

what investigators are calling a gangnam-style execution

kinda unfair that we got The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald by Gordon Lightfoot within a year after the tragedy, meanwhile 9/11 gave us like 20 years of absolute dogshit country music

i remember you was conflicted going yum mode at the slop house

Flat Stanley Survives a Lathe Incident

throwin a lasso around the moon, impressing my hunny with how fast it launched me out the atmosphere

we don't need to pretend airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars, babe, i've activated the wishful chemtrails

snatching the Subway Takes guy's sunglasses and eating them

@neildegrassetyson.com smooch any mirrors lately ?

get hyped y'all it's time to do your rotator cuff exercises

inventing a type of guy* *making a linkedin account for shitposting

maybe men's mental health would be taken more seriously if every awareness video wasn't some fratty "hey. bro? it's okay to have feelings. btw don't kill yourself i need a spotter"

Jeremy by Pearl Jam is about a boy who doesn't draw too good and fumbles a speech

i'm supposed to have faith in a government that couldn't even get us into permanent Spring Forward hours?

it's time to revolutionize the mug industry

spiders should have bioluminescence so they can put lights around their webs during christmas

we’re gonna have to euthanize him :^(

hey siri, does anyone know where the love of god goes when the waves turn the minutes to hours?

sobbing at my desk while muttering things like "15 more miles" and "gales of november"

love da ocean & da moon :^)

the grocery store still has rotisserie chickens. everything is going to be okay

ocean photography

souvenir

spatula blastbeat

just confirmed that the ocean is still here. sea foam is brighter than usual, like a toothpaste commercial

whaddiyatalkinabeet

going 1000 smiles per hour. swerving

tone policing several LG appliances