:^)

good ol’ dawg

i wasn’t jaywalking your honor it was a pen

whaddya mean i gotta sit here and do nothing in an office chair instead of literally anything else with my day

Disclosure Day is when every radio station pays homage to that one song that kept their lights on throughout 2013

my friend’s dad used to have a “1 hour of outside play grants you a half hour of gaming” which was cool because in between rounds of Halo we figured out dry ice bombs and all the stuff you can do with a lighter and hand sanitizer

beach boyz ii mountain men

“oh, did a sportsball happen?” bro you listen to podcasts stay in your lane

soccer is a lot like fencing in the sense that i only give a shit about it for a few weeks every four years

don’t worry babe we’re gonna climb a much cooler building

i mean the dao that can be spoken is not the eternal dao but sure go off

playin banjo on the porch to see if i can make a 100°F day even hotter

i’d vote for a dog. they have the lifespan i wish most politicians had

hey siri is abyss gluten free

telling people this is the latest Billy Strings music video

we gotta hit bass pro with pops bro

encountered a mimic in a dungeon but there’s no way i made that sound when i tried to open it

the funniest part about streameast shutdowns is that finding a working mirror site is still less stressful than figuring out if the fuckass sports subscription you paid for is going to show all of your team’s games

turns out i don’t mind soccer, i just really hate how europeans do it

nice

I’ll end up riding my fucken bicycle soon

experienced bike party for the first time last night, and i can’t believe it took this long for me to finally rip my mountain bike through the city

“i have a special case for my Blue Chip, even an air tag for it. if i leave it out i try to get a coaster for it to rest on” me:

swamp, swamp, swamp, swamp music

world cup news is so exciting

discourse about “using the big light at home” in the office

the older i get, the more i look and feel like the whistling “Normal Guy” from that comic strip with the one dude all pissed off at everything

t-shirt i got for free has the whole gym looking up Kenny Baker

made an Obsession-esque wish to get out of a traffic jam and now i have a flying car that won’t stop shrieking about the horrors

professional athlete named The Chill Ball

quote dunking Crab Man in vinegar and butter

jumping spiders are a type of dog

hell yea dog

Do you guys like that mazzy star song about how nationwide is on your side

Pizza Stone should be an amulet that summons pizza not just a flat rock for your oven

lol

i entered VICE’s Playlist Project but accidentally submitted the recording of myself crying, sneezing, trying to laugh it off, and then crying harder

this tune feels like i’m playing Elden Ring in a Regular Show montage youtu.be/EMOk4UuvkYY?...

never heard back about this btw

happy birthday to Robert Hunter. thanks for writing lyrics for a buncha songs i really like youtu.be/8nekv91toC4?...

ok!

let’s do away with articles for the rest of the year

‘we met the old fashioned way: dating apps’ “that’s old? what’s the new fashioned way?” ‘run clubs, apparently’

everyone makes fun of the Virginia/Texas license plate loophole until they have to renew their registration and it’s like $100 more expensive

some guy named piganal wants you to treat every website like it’s an esteemed debate club

the cat remains unbothered

i can hear the bullfrog callin me too, dad