jonathan apples, painted by m. strange, 1915

starting a podcast with nothing to say

This won’t be a popular opinion around here but The Departed is better than Goodfellas and Mark Wahlberg should have won an Oscar for playing one of the 150 different types of Boston asshole in the movie

Doctors used to call me a champ and a trooper now they just call me for money

If you don't enjoy apple pies, it could be that you are not using baking apples. Not every apple you eat out of hand is at its best when baked and the converse is true too like a favorite of mine for pies, the Rome.

everyday thousands log on with one thought in their minds "no I am the true star wars understander" me "lasers swords are cool voom voom"

But that was not what I was going to ask, Google.

@walmart.bsky.social hey you sell a meal called Yellowstone Rip's Ranch Hand Beef and Cheese Pasta Bake but Rip doesn't eat that on the show. And I own the box sets and he doesn't eat that in any deleted scenes either. I think a recall and apology is in order STAT also plz add more minion stuff thx

@mizer.bsky.social getting in on the ground floor here. that's not only a true fan but also smart football

Tech Company: At long last, we have created the WikiBear from the classic Conan O'Brien sketch Don't Create The WikiBear www.youtube.com/watch?v=rpx3...

There is going to be a long-form interview piece in the next 6-18 months called "Larry Summers in Winter."

SO ANYWAY I THINK I HAVE MERCH NOW??? www.geraldinepiche.com/store

my novel VEINS is now available at drewtoothpaste.com and i'm including some excerpts here. it downloads as a PDF and it's $4.99

"Do you like fuck with Moana heavy?" "I'm 8" "Oh" "So fuck yeah I do. I love Hei Hei" "Hei Hei is dope."

I'll take a Turkey Marxist-Leninist or a Turkey Maoist over a Turkey Trot

streets are saying ow ow ow youre stepping on me

Humphrey Yogart

The moral of Frankensteins is we are all Frankensteins now

"Ya I saw the big sunken boat in the deep blue it was dope and I had an idea for big blue alien movie" "Jim, 9/11 happened." "Huckleberry, nooooooo"

What a punch in the gut. Leslie was such a good guy. I had the privilege of collabing w him a few times. He graciously came on my mutual-aid jeopardy tourney during the pandemic to fund grocery delivery for out of work resto workers. Learned so much from this man. RIP www.gofundme.com/f/lleeiii

I watched a great documentary last night. It is remarkable how in the olden-days a guy could have a job at a quarry and enough cash to take care of a wife, kid, two pets and a great car and time to do activities like bowl and go to the movies and order a big tray of ribs that tips over that car.

i use pirate streaming sites all the time and one thing that really gets my goat is when a label says an upload is in "hd" bc it's a 1080p cam rip lol. THAT'S NOT HD

Wow what a great photo. I greatly admire. Read the post, full of finest woolgathering matter.

See ghosts aren’t real because if there was any spirit of Lyndon Baines Johnson left on this plane, he would be LEANING everywhere right now.

@nytimes.com follow back plz

Sometimes you post one and instantly delete. Just had to get one out. You know how it is playboy

Just got off the phone with a source up on the hill, not to reveal my source but he's up there in leadership and he's also from New York and the entire 10 minute call was just the driest raspberry I've ever heard.

every generation loves Rumours. it’s fucking Rumours

By my count, Star Trek had multiple generational runs.

It's not that any one chair is particularly funny or incredible. It's that you see fifteen or twenty of these chairs, and start thinking, "But surely this account will run out soon. There can only be so much variety in the world of Spider-Man chairs." But sure enough, we see a new chair every day.

Some guy running for governor of MA is afraid of Boylston station lmao

yo I think these two are fucking

I delete posts not because I am ashamed, but because it’s fun to think of some of them as limited edition

I see someone saved a screenshot of my drafts. If I catch one person making a post about scrat on master chef you owe me a nickle for every dollar you make from even the notion of scrat on master chef.

This is more embarrassing than me thinking West Egg was a real place. Rather be a fool than a hack

just got scared. would not recommend

‼️ ¿Qué significa '6-7', la "palabra del año" que se volvió popular entre los jóvenes? Te explicamos 👉 uni.vi/TFEa106pjaJ

@tolyphant.bsky.social u going to be in the grogu movie?

not leaving because it's my fucking country too. maybe it'll be the wrong choice in the end but also fuck these guys

Mr. Trump at a recently emptied nuclear silo: "You're fired."

"There is a reason Trotsky got an ice pick to face. Remember that, bucko." ~ My 2 year old daughter just now.

an ageless question unanswerable

There is something called the Australian Dream? What is it? Parole?

About 40ish years too early for that maneuver