We are all immutably of a place. When some callow coryphée says they are from Boston but really from Lynn I always smell that putrid roast beef note in their lacking legerdemain.

"New York is a character in this movie." Okay... but probably not a good one. The Joker has two Oscars and New York has how many?

It was actually really smart of the City of Boston to just call it the T since it is really hard to spell the word trane.

My subway take would be that dork's lunch money.

Thought people were describing some euroleauge basketball player but somehow Kierkegaard is even worse that

Oh I am glad they got to sit on the couch normal style this week. Good for them!

The backup camera on my horse stinks

I am no Mr. Albert Einstein but aren't all songs from the past since the speed of sound and stuff?

There's got to be a least a few guys that voted for Pratt who think they voted for Mayor Star-Lord.

oh no fart chat is beefing with faaart chat (fart chat splinter group)

they should make a movie about a couple guys who are nice

I do enjoy seeing people getting incensed about Paris aflame. It ain't new. Just open any history book, doesn't matter which one. Pick a page, doesn't matter which one. Paris is burning. City of lights, baby.

*guy who once called the teacher mom* look at these low t betas

minions vs norman mailer

*see red bows on doors on google street view* "December. Maybe January"

I just happened to sneeze when they turned on the lights now everyone is going to think I got that disease. It was a post-nose hair trimming sneeze not I'm allergic to photons sneeze

art

The only reason I go to stand up-shows is to find out what the guy next to me does for work.

found a great book for you at the library

another hill i will die on: his Simpsons couch gag is the best one. out of all of them

idk but In the first Austin Powers, Dr. Evil is frozen in 1967 and reawakened in '97. Since being unfrozen, he does the Macarena after not knowing the real value of a million v billion dollars. When they unfroze him they taught him a new dance but not the inflation rate. Deeply unserious operation

nah

New video up on the YT. What do Pennsylvanians think about John Fetterman's ass? youtu.be/XLOKIL3aYyc?...

Saw a take that made it clear that SOME PEOPLE don't understand how apple breeding works. If you don't know about Vf gene* expressing, don't go a-guessing. Vf gene confers scab resistance <-(simplified version)

We're back, baby!

If you're too scared or God forbid "stressed out" to even look at Pornhub, Xtube... I know these names better than I know my own grandmother's. YouPorn, XXN, RedTube... panty jobs, homegrown Simpsons stuff. I want fighters not weaklings. Also I want recs that would be dope too.

I am so glad we invented sideways (rightways) bread, this looks nasty.

Every time I get carded I view it as a failed vibe check.

Not doing a bit but I was nominated (short listed) for an award and didn't win. Those people on TV lied, it is not an honor to be nominated. I just feel like even bigger loser. The other options is like not being nominated then I can lie to myself by saying I was just not appreciated in my time.

Conan O'Brien will officially return to host the Oscars next year.

My cynicism about representation in advertising oscillates but I saw a billboard for the MBTA that just had a picture of the price of gas and text that said 'another reason to take the T[rain].' And I smiled seeing representation of cheap bastards.

Apple Blossom 18x11cm acryla gouache this is available to buy for lots of money or as a print for much less

I wish more food stuffs were involved in the mythology of physics discoveries like Newton and the Apple. A server asking Einstein if he got enough space and time to finish his plate of weinersnitchel. Alexander Friedmann taking a big ole bite of nachos and suddenly coming up with the big crunch.

BREAKING NEWS: @timheidecker.bsky.social position as Creative Director has been DELAYED. (Photo depicted of Heidecker snacking with kyle Mooney on movie set, copyrighted not to be used by Infowars)

The reason I like both Jackass and Inside Llewyn Davis is they are fundamentally about men getting constantly kicked in balls.

Every time I think of a correct take that would get me yelled at that I don't post I imagine I do a backspin holster trick and I whisper, "Not today."

Grizabella, very nasty, very nasty - I think I'll sue her. I don't know folks, should I? Should I sue her? Nasty, no longer "HOT". I think I will be suing Grizabella

Every single time I notice anti-car rhetoric online reach a fever pitch, I have to tell my good friend not to log on that day. People just do not know how to comport themselves with regard to others’ feelings. It is a damn shame, honestly. Oh, the name of that friend? Lighting McQueen.

If God is not real… then thunder is wwwhose farts?

rome beauty apples, painted by royal charles steadman, 1931

Every vote to gerrymander is a vote for Massachusetts. We thank you.

Yes this really happened. My company used to rent space out of a trial attorney office in DTLA, and Booker was rolling through to raise cash with the lawyers for his doomed presidential bid, and serendipity granted me this window into Booker’s soul outside the men’s room I regularly defiled

I saw a billboard yesterday that had two dudes on it and said in big red letters "REAL ATTORNEYS." It struck me as a doth protest too much and there is some Mike Ross Suits-esque situation happening there.

Most people don't know this but the reason it is called a needle drop is because songs are like movie steroids

lmao

me when I clog the toilet but try to blame someone else

Imagine Hillary Clinton as a corn beef sandwich. The meat carving is lean. Swiss, lettuce, tomato and kraut all play their part in the orchestra. A toasted rye holds the whole piece together. You take a bite, juices from the corn beef and kraut run down your face. What was I saying?