Can’t believe Hertz did this

I’ll be playing a detective on “CSI: Shreveport” and the show will be on every Tuesday night at 8:30

breaking news #gnn

@philbraun.bsky.social this has been staring at me all Xmas for me to only just realise it’s uncle Phil

We have cut ties with Phil Braun effective immediately!!

Boom #MrChristmas

@sigdiamond.bsky.social @cofounderjamie.bsky.social

“These car prices can’t be beaten!”

Tomorrow on Office Hours I’ll be changing the way you look at Christmas forever

Kelce wearing his winter eyebrows

It’s a great look #DiegoPavia

The Indianapolis Colts have updated Philip Rivers’ status to “old” for the upcoming game Sunday at Seattle cc @theonion.com #hireme

Find out the REAL meaning of “6-7”. It is NOT a harmless meme…and they do NOT want you to know its true meaning!!

I will be reasserting my stronghold on Christmas very soon

tis the season timheidecker.bandcamp.com/track/cold-m...

Time to get gulched

See you in

What exactly happened at my colonoscopy?

I’m holding it in for my colonoscopy tomorrow

Breaking News: James Cameron is making 100 Avatar movies cc @vfa-expert.bsky.social

I can just tell this is the right guy for Miley

“You’ll be visited by three spirits.” The three spirits:

Fuzzy dead

Seeing Darth Vader’s eyeballs ruined the whole movie

Creating a new Christmas character called “The Grunch”. He lives in The Gulch - not sure what he does yet

The #1 show is back

Time for a portrait!

SNL CUATRO is beginning at CUATRO o’clock EST This was genuinely one of the most fun nights of my life. Enjoy!

My family is a Lexus Family® #decemberToRemember

If my 90 year old self could tell me what he wishes I would have done differently, he would tell me to build a Time Machine.

The People's Joker (2024) - 1:16:31 Dir. Vera Drew Runtime 92 minutes 🚬 x 9, or one cigarette every 10.22 minutes https://howmanycigarettes.com/the-peoples-joker/

What’s he been eating?

E.T. was rich. Never discussed it.

“The Hole In The Wall Gang”, consisting of Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid, was so named because of the gang’s penchant for glory holes

He accidentally hit someone else with the sandwich, because he “missed da meaner one”. cc @douggpound.bsky.social

“Hello?…..what?….who is this?….I’m not returning?”

Photo I took from inside the Braves dugout - that’s new manager Walt Weiss wearing #22 when he was the SS (story from @deadspin.bsky.social )

New @crackerbarrell.bsky.social logo idea, but the old man is nude…

They should call it Shit Tank because it’s mostly bad ideas

This once simple family is now worth $400 billion dollars and own a majority stake in thousands of retail stores

When is Michael Shannon going to play David Letterman in a bio pic?

Norman Bates eats candy corn

@jaymilton.bsky.social will you be performing this song at Sister Jean's funeral? youtu.be/dAP8hoVLnFA?...

Two moons, that’s just what we need..