Just took half a Nytol. See you Wednesday

Anyone else think David Lynch is kinda.....weird?

People are upset because Donald Trump has left WHO but don't worry, Pete Townshend and Roger Daltry are still in it and they're really the main ones 👍

Guaranteed she'll be back on Twitter within 24 hours

I'm sure you're all eager to know my favourite and least favourite Ms Rachel songs Best : I'm So Happy Worst: 3 Little Ants Go Marching In A Line

How do Sleaford Mods get away with it

Who do you think is more beautiful me or Emma Stone? Be honest

Bursting for a piss.

The Three Degrees : "When will I see you again?, When will we share prescious moments?" Me: Next Sunday. You could have just text me, you didn't have to write a song about it I really lost faith in this post about 2/3rd of the way through typing it out

@oldfriend99.bsky.social hey I just realized he should have been called Robert WadHIGH. Thought you'd enjoy this.

Me in Spar thinking existentially

Everyone here is raving over my new haircut!

Just read the Wikipedia for Butternut Squash and it says it was created in 1940. What kind of a psycho invents a fruit

I started working as a shelf stacker in Tesco and after a few years I worked my way up to Fruit + Veg manager. Wore a suit, made a lot of money, had a girlfriend. Then I started getting careless. Made a mistake and cost them thousands. Within months I was pushing trolleys. A bit like the film Tar

Tralees most haunted place

funny meme shane ,, my wife left me

Old MacDonald had a data farm AI-AI-O!

Just came up with one of the worst things I ever thought of. I'll post it now.

If I hear that song one more time I'll Killeagh myself

I read that Disney princess films can be harmful for little girls because it gives them unrealistic expectations about growing up and marrying a prince and living in a palace etc so I’m exclusively showing my six month old daughter the films of Ken Loach.

Happy New Year! I've never felt more fucked in my life 😂

Glad the Terminator found time to put wax and spray in his hair

Finally saw Sinners feel like I am being Gaslit by everyone saying it's the film of the year

I went to a swingers party with my wife last night. The one where everyone throws their keys in the bowl. I don't drive so I had to get the bus home on my own. Depressed.

In the new Frankenstein movie the blind man teaches the creature to read. How?

Me 19

Took a quarter of a Nytol last night and now today my brain works bad. Can't believe I'm such a lightweight now

Spending the Winter Solstice at Limerick Junction. There is no light here.

"Well tonight thank God it's them instead of you!" 🎶🎵 You're right Bono, thanks be to God. Phew!

Love getting off a train and you see all the sad bastards queued up waiting to get on haha sad cunts

Not a great look

Wrote a short story the last day to see if I could it's called Pigeon Man open.substack.com/pub/shanecli...

😬

Jay Kelly, Michael Clayton. Two films starring George Clooney as some guy

In Liverpool last week for my 25th Birthday

Long suffering wife cries as 44 year old husband does fit check in spare bathroom

It's crazy how bald you get when you start losing your hair

When I watch movies on my phone I just pretend I'm sitting far away from the screen

Only about 45 more Christmases left in my life, thank God

Just got off the ohone with the Vatican and it turns out that, due to a clerical error, I was born without Original Sin. Nice!

Still can't believe you have to pay for electricity. Worst part of being an adult.

THIS IS A FAKE PIC!!!!

Hello I'm doing my solo show Shane of Fools in Whelan's on Sunday there's like 10 tickets left I forgot to tell ye on here Come! www.whelanslive.com/event/shane-...

I'm calling it now. We're going to win the World Cup

Imagine you got hit by a car and died and your loved ones checked your phone and the last thing you were listening to was the Kaiser Chiefs.

I hope my son eventually grows out of screaming before he falls asleep it will be embarrassing is he's still doing it when he's 46

You're telling me Frankenstein is a doctor?! That big smelly green dead guy?!

This is how bad things are on Twitter now even this got no likes

Trying to learn piano by writing the worst music ever on a tiny midi keyboard