Imagine your wife found your porn stash in 1913. Just magazines full of pictures of women's ankles. Would probably make her feel self conscious about her own ankles

Thats that me Cornetto lol

Nothing hurts me more than seeing yanks refer to diving as flopping

Enjoying the sun

@philbraun.bsky.social were you at the game?

I thought Messi was chopped and washed but turned out he was goated and bussin

Thinking back to the first 4 months of my twins life. Thought I was going to die. One time I found myself fantasizing about being hit by a car so I could spend a week in hospital 👍

Messi isn't that impressive to me. Even I could do all that if I had his talent

The mailman says if I don't get any mail soon he's gonna break my legs

Harry Kane has the most English head I've ever seen. I don't like him.

A Long Lifespan more like. 👍

Nice! My wife said I can watch the match if I wear my headphones 😄

Fuck this heat.

"How about those Knicks?" - Americans

Days before breakfast

I always seem to get insomnia when I can't sleep at night

I took a break for about a month from posting on IG to see if it would help my mental health a bit but made no difference at all haha

It's so hot my balls are stuck to each other

Exciting times

Exclusive: First shot released from the set of the new Rainman remake

"The council are trying to turn Drury Street into a dreary street." - a thought I just had

An upside to living in a studio apartment is if your wife makes you sleep on the couch at least you're still in the same room as her 😊

I am a better singer than Paul McCartney

Just found out that Michael Jackson and Michael Jackson are the same guy

Why doesn't Commissioner Gordan just text Batmans instead of the stupid Bat Signal?

Wait til you hear this. I bought a Twirl and a Deep River Rock in a Spar in the City Centre last week. €6.05.

Must have been awkward around the Christmas Dinner table in the Attenborough house after the Jurassic Park incident. David wouldn't like that carry on one bit

Just walked past someone's sitting room window and could see that they were watching Jurassic Park on their TV and I thought to myself "good for them"

Vibin'

They should make a new realistic Terminator movie where it's just tla load of Teeminators working in offices and doing bad graphic design

Doesn't make sense

Was reading The Amazing Spider-Man #7 and got to the letters section and read this one and thought I wonder if that's THE Paul Gambaccini. Anyway - turns out it is. 👍

Nuke the Vatican

In a divided nation there is one thing that is always sure to bring us together: Seething hatred of farmers

I have 10 month old twins so have only been watching the news in 3 second snatches. Something about Iranian farmers protesting on the moon?

I just said "Shit now or forever hold your piss" out loud to myself in my kitchen and then I laughed. Just letting ye know

Watching Sesame Street. I feel sorry for Big Bird. He used to be the main guy when I was young. The big cheese. Now he's barely in it. Now it's all Elmo. You just know he fucking hates that little red bollox

Sad to hear what happens to Jesus yesterday obviously but, without giving anything away, keep an eye on his tomb tomorrow. You might be pleasantly surprised 😉

Earlier today I saw a dog in a shop browsing the dog food section. I took a photo. When I got home I showed the picture to my wife but she didn't really seem to care too much, she just said "Will you please help me when th the babies?"

@standalone.bsky.social you won March Madness? Bullshit

@joeltemperlane.bsky.social ?

Love when this happens

Midway through my Looksmaxxing Journey! IT IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED

@mairead3.bsky.social goodnight Mairead

Pedro Pascal Sheehy

How come people named John can be called Jack and we're all ok with it. It'd be like if people called me Steve.

Some Shane pics for the mother's out there who follow me. Enjoy!

My wife and children are away for the night so I get indulge in one of my special interests which is repeatedly watching this one specific piece of An American Trilogy from Elvis: Aloha from Hawaii