I am a better singer than Paul McCartney

Just found out that Michael Jackson and Michael Jackson are the same guy

Why doesn't Commissioner Gordan just text Batmans instead of the stupid Bat Signal?

Wait til you hear this. I bought a Twirl and a Deep River Rock in a Spar in the City Centre last week. €6.05.

Must have been awkward around the Christmas Dinner table in the Attenborough house after the Jurassic Park incident. David wouldn't like that carry on one bit

Just walked past someone's sitting room window and could see that they were watching Jurassic Park on their TV and I thought to myself "good for them"

Vibin'

They should make a new realistic Terminator movie where it's just tla load of Teeminators working in offices and doing bad graphic design

Doesn't make sense

Was reading The Amazing Spider-Man #7 and got to the letters section and read this one and thought I wonder if that's THE Paul Gambaccini. Anyway - turns out it is. 👍

Nuke the Vatican

In a divided nation there is one thing that is always sure to bring us together: Seething hatred of farmers

I have 10 month old twins so have only been watching the news in 3 second snatches. Something about Iranian farmers protesting on the moon?

I just said "Shit now or forever hold your piss" out loud to myself in my kitchen and then I laughed. Just letting ye know

Watching Sesame Street. I feel sorry for Big Bird. He used to be the main guy when I was young. The big cheese. Now he's barely in it. Now it's all Elmo. You just know he fucking hates that little red bollox

Sad to hear what happens to Jesus yesterday obviously but, without giving anything away, keep an eye on his tomb tomorrow. You might be pleasantly surprised 😉

Earlier today I saw a dog in a shop browsing the dog food section. I took a photo. When I got home I showed the picture to my wife but she didn't really seem to care too much, she just said "Will you please help me when th the babies?"

@standalone.bsky.social you won March Madness? Bullshit

@joeltemperlane.bsky.social ?

Love when this happens

Midway through my Looksmaxxing Journey! IT IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED

@mairead3.bsky.social goodnight Mairead

Pedro Pascal Sheehy

How come people named John can be called Jack and we're all ok with it. It'd be like if people called me Steve.

Some Shane pics for the mother's out there who follow me. Enjoy!

My wife and children are away for the night so I get indulge in one of my special interests which is repeatedly watching this one specific piece of An American Trilogy from Elvis: Aloha from Hawaii

New character I'm working on : Normal Guy on Train

@jaymilton.bsky.social @joeltemperlane.bsky.social

This is the only way I can pass a stool

In the process of doing what I can to separate myself from net negative technology/social media companies, so everybody can now not watch You Earned It... Now Collect It (starring @therealsamcauhe.bsky.social and featuring @jaymilton.bsky.social, me, and others as well) @ archive.org/details/@you...

Called it back in 2017 💅

Modern day Friends With Benefits

Imagine you had a time machine and you went to the future to warn people about things that already happened in the past. Would be a stupid thing to do

I see Leonardo DiCaprio has won an IFTA. Dreams CAN come true.

Went to one of those swinger car key parties last weekend but I don't drive so I just got the bus home on my own

On a train and need to piss. Went to open the toilet door but it wouldn't open. Thought there might be someone in there despite the indicator thing being green. So I sat down. 10 mins have passed and no one has come out. So I'm 99% sure there's no one in there and I just didn't give

Paul and Ringo should play themselves with Irishman deaging technology

Lonely man plays prank on himself

Valentines Night Fit Check

People in Dublin complaining about a few months rain. I grew up in Tralee. We've had full decades of this shit

Wife's upset with me again. Last night I went to sleep drink and woke up and went to the toilet in the wardrobe. She's even more upset cause I did a number 2.

In a few years people are gonna talk about Trump they way they talked about Jimmy Saville - "Of course he is a paedophile just look at him"

It's funny to me to upload a stand up clip to Bluesky and hope it goes viral

@joeltemperlane.bsky.social ?

You know what they say about the Winter Olympics: you snood, you luge

How the FUCK did Indigo make it into the Rainbow? Must be some nepo baby shit

Nothing worse than a ticket inspector who likes his job

When your wife and her boyfriend leave with the Cuck Chair so you have to stand in the corner of the room on your own. #sad