I'm having the worst fatigue I've had in YEARS and it SUCKS

Dear Walmart, You put in many self checkouts but only turn on 4 and I'd like to buy butt medicine without my catty ex-coworker having to scan it at her til and know my anal secrets!

We Tested 14 Different Brands Of Snow Shovels. We Won't Tell You What We Found. We Alone Hold This Knowledge

As a civilian who is very familiar with the ins and outs of law enforcement, saying that dude was acting out of self defense is fucking bonkers. He did literally EVERYTHING wrong in that particular scenario. Christ.

I haven't used Bluesky much lately because I'm trying to combat doom scrolling and instead writing all my angsts on dreamwidth lmao

Your date takes off their top and shows you the ol' corn cobs

Making oats in a rice cooker for the goblin

WHAT DO THE STRANGER THINGS CREATORS KNOW ABOUT THE M SHAPED CAVE THAT CANNOT BE A COINKY DINK

Two years in from the Miami mall incident and we're no closer to the truth!!

I fucken LOVE stumbling on stuff like this, digging slightly below surface level, and finding out it happened in my hometown. Strange shit happens along the old man river, but also university students are always out there being artsy and weird too lol.

Aww ❤️

Round 2 of crocheting things my niece drew

I know he's extremely problematic, but I wanna brush Sephiroth's smooth and silky hair.

Trying to explain to several old drunk people at the Canadian legion HQ how China made tik tok brain rot to poison the younger generations beyond help and how it is one of the smartest modern warfare moves in history.

I think I got bit by one of those ticks that makes you allergic to bread

Sitting down and carefully explaining to my 8 year old niece that she doesn't need a 16 step skincare routine at her age - only beef tallow.

Going on that YouTube finance guy's show and having his staff call the police on me for getting irrationally angry when he brings up the $200 I have spent on peanuts alone this year.

This is actually my resolution for the new year! My millennial ass misses making unhinged walls of text and the lifelong friends acquired in doing so.

REAL FEEL is -34 tonight and I'm excited to turn the heat way down so all the cats will cuddle me for survival

Merry Christmas to everybody except for @llyr.bsky.social who keeps posting the last Christmas/eat my ass song on Instagram reels and it won't leave my noggin

Dinner turned out great and now I can go back to dying god bless

Handing out festive Christmas nuts to my squirrels and sighing happily because they all showed up as a little family.

the weirdest thing about die hard has nothing to do with christmas, it's that we ended up with family matters as a result of it

Throwback to when we were trying to finish our Christmas baking and Bernice had an absolute meltdown over wanting a taste

Merry Christmas I'm marinating a beautiful free range turkey in my snot

That stupid SpongeBob sound clip that everyone is doing videos to makes me irrationally RAGE I hate it so much lmfao

this is true for many different kinds of acid

My bf: I think I'm getting sick... I'm gonna go eat a shrimp ring in the bathtub...

*takes huge bong rip* what if the greys are an advanced alien AI product that went rogue? What if they're literally ChatGPT and stealing our sacred bovine juices because they make for great coolant?

crochet rules, you can literally just make stuff

Open-mouth sobbing and getting snot everywhere as I open another package of black sharpies while chained to the cement floor in the Whitehouse basement today.

The only time I wish I was polyamorous is when I have to go out and shovel 2 feet of heavy ass snow. That is a job for my 16.5 boyfriends.

My 2026 prediction is that weaponized psychology becomes a thing that produces another thing that gets us down another level of this hell spiral of humans disconnecting.

Tough to be serial killer when your only means of transport is the Oscar Meyer Wienermobile

And Tiny Tim WHO DID NOT DIE

the moment when a painting or drawing i'm making goes from "this is dogshit and i'm a fraud" to "actually we're back" can be so transcendently beautiful, it's a shame that it's one of the many things people who use AI are denying themselves

Hey - free pizza is free pizza, even if it's the shit kind.

It's Christmas Norwegian marzipan pooping bank pig time

I could never be a nuclear scientist because their bodies do a weird thing eventually where they start attracting wayward bullets

I still think that close encounters of the third kind is the closest to being right alien movie

Bad blizzard outside so I'm watching various teens from the high school blow down my street lmfao

Had a shit sleep so I'm eating a mandarin orange, taking my iron pill, turning the heat down to 15°, and going back to slumber lol

I'm being grumpy but the Disclosure Day trailer is doing NOTHING for me and/or my libido.

Laughing as I consume my 26th buttertart of the morning

*lovingly hand stitching a decorative kitchen towel* 𝒟𝑜𝓃'𝓉 𝒶𝒸𝒸𝑒𝓅𝓉 𝓂𝑒𝒹𝒾𝒸𝒶𝓁 𝒶𝒹𝓋𝒾𝒸𝑒 𝒻𝓇𝑜𝓂 𝒸𝓇𝒶𝒸𝓀𝒽𝑒𝒶𝒹𝓈

My dad: Your brother recommended a supplement for me called UMARY and I have been feeling really good! Me, half a second after googling the stuff: YOU ARE ALL GONNA BE THE DEATH OF ME WHY ARE YOU TAKING MEDICAL ADVICE FROM A CRACK HEAD JESUS CHRIST YOU FEEL GOOD FROM ALL THE STERIODSSWKJWKKSkh

Leaving the Value Village checkout line and giving the store a final salute because it's the end of an era and I'll never step foot in another one ever again.