Everything was already possible, modern times doesn't even need itselves. I asked the muses if it was okay to say it that way and they hired a muse of red underlining

if we aren’t slappin’ da bass together hard pass

Treat yourself. By yourself I mean me.

We need less people doing the one thing and more people doing the other thing.

My backup plan is muttering “fuck this” and walking away

my head is like a pinball game but there's a monkey with cymbals having a dance party while jumping on the bed and he fell off and broke his head, over and over. what I'm trying to say is I sure play a mean pinball

Remember that one time forever and always haunting your nostalgia

No no. You have the last slice of pizza—I insist.

Your pin number should be three months salary but no one gets moneyed anymore

Hyping Christmas in early November? OK fine—I’ll allow it

Grief eventually leads to joy, which you'll know when you've cried so hard your nose makes a noise just like a clown's nose being honked

Say something weird<dont say anything

Eeyore just called and said we can’t hang out anymore cuz I’m too depressing.

Little more than a barely that, never a yes this, no need to hang on to a not it

*grabs you by the lapel* wtf is a lapel????

truck nuts christmas tree

Hi, yeah. I signed up for the group hug. Is that here or down the hall?

I'm not one to brag, but I totally got out of bed today without coaxing.

It's felt like bed time since dinner time. How do we do this every year?

Someone should really make pizza scented car air fresheners

Sir, it’s a shitpost, try not to hurt yourself thinking about it.

I dunno maybe we could get together later and sob for a little while y'know for funsies

If it was over then, it's not all over now. In confetti terms it's celebrate continuously. Be regretted, be all over the place, be too impossible to be all gotten. Floors though. Like I'm not living cluttered to the fullest

He's a 6 but completes all side quests to gain experience and renown before returning to the main story

cutting a wheel of cheese with a battle axe

pressing a pizza slice like its a flower

an extinction level event would fix all of you

We all have those 478 people we can't stand

i wanna take this relationship to the next level. food court is upstairs, tell me now if what we have is real.

I'm here for moron support. It's like moral support except I'm a dumbass

Everybody is so desperate for that interstellar comet to be an alien ship, what if it's just cake?

Lady and the Tramp with ribs

Who needs enemies when you have your own thoughts

black forest ham, dark fortress chicken, cursed talisman turkey

Cover me in cheese sauce like I’m a little broccoli floret.

First of all, my Aqua Groove Aerobics instructor is MEAN.

1 Trillion ways to say fuck off

Jncos so wide you catch wind and take flight

Maybe being slowly shredded by a supermassive black hole feels good to the star before it becomes nothing

But how sure are we that woodchucks don't chuck

I'm not mad about a thing, but I am very, very annoyed.

Got my turkey in the microwave. Get on my level

A weighted blanket, but it’s just someone dropping a grand piano on me.

If You Give a Mouse a Sorting Project

live, laugh, launch my corpse into outer space

When I was a boy we had to invent snow before we could walk ten miles through it to get to school.

Chapped lip season is fun cause you get to chew off pieces of your mouth like a little snack

It's a must have more coffee kinda day

beaver moons are made up entirely of giardia and cheese.

Just a girl obsessed with the moon.