I turned off the tv today I painted flowers I listened to old playlists I danced in the kitchen I made good food I watched the sunset I turned off the tv today

Not bad for a figment.

Get ready with me #oilpainting #art

Sandwiches are great, you should try one.

Confused florist for flourish so I spent the entire job interview spinning my katana like an idiot. 45 minute long sword act and they wait til the end to tell me.

quick digital painting of jellyfish

Give us this day our daily cheese

Self-portrait on the way to the Shoes

The ides of March are coming if you need ideas about what to get your local emperor.

Still Life with Shopping Bags and Laundry

Made a vein attempt to look for the blood moon.

Still Life with Tulips and Open Maw

I love a good false spring as much as the next guy, but I guarantee I’ll be twice as bitter about the snow tomorrow.

The positive effect of the ‘Cone of Shame’ is that we can now get TV channels from Europe. 😁😂

I love that my silver hairs are growing in all kinky and witchy to match my upgraded personality

inside me are two wombats

I’m staying in a strange cabin and last night I swear to god something was glowing in my blankets like a firefly but I was so tired I was like “glowing being, whatever” and went back to sleep. I haven’t found a firefly today though.

It’s an “off to have wine with the ladies” Saturday afternoon.

Sorry I wrote YOLO! on your death certificate.

Ultra Marines are highly decorated.

Are all laps named Lazuli? Art Teacher: Just grab the blue paint.

a 9000 psi bidet for the brain after reading the news would fix me

DON'T SPIDER OPEN INSIDE

OPERATION SHARKNADO

imagining a caveperson getting super annoyed that they can’t make the bison look right. they’re crumpling up the whole cave and throwing it away. makes me feel much better

“Per my last email” okay passive aggressive star it took more to seethe your petty hatred than to just resend the email, we’re all busy and I have 500 emails to read. Resize your ego.

It's gorgeous out, I say from the inside.

Damned if you scooby doobie doo.

Swarms of buzzing flies do too count as ambiance—!

letting books shape me

How come the godless have to worry about a holy war? Can't I just opt out like the pledge of allegiance?

*me looking directly into imaginary camera: I spend an alarming amount of time pretending I am on a reality television show

Its begun. Indoor seed prep later today. Doing my best to stay ahead of the game so we're not scrambling last minute.

I shaved my head and one of my kids liked it and the other told me to never do it again and now I’m faced with the awkward dilemma of breaking the news to one of them that they’re not my favorite child.

Adding “Dairy” to my work experience with no context

I knew someone who actually died on a hill. I refused to attend the funeral because I don’t reward clichés.

job interviewer: so what would you say your greatest weakness is? me: oh I couldn't pick

Who wants to hang out and just cry together?

if dogs ran things we’d have smell-o-vision by now

I threw money at the problem but I ran out of money before I ran out of problem.

Apollo is 7 months today ❤️ look at those jackrabbit feet

moonlight fox

Spilling fresh coffee in my lap only to find it isn't even hot enough to scald me is why I have trust issues.

taking my spine out to straighten up a few things real quick

My postman loves it when I try to grab his fingers through the letterbox

Literally.

If you need me, I’ll be in my depression closet

my condo has no nooks or crannies or interesting architectural details it has all the charm of a pasta charm bracelet your 5 y/o made for you in kindergarten hold on that’s very charming nvm