December

all underwear are edible underwear with some grit and determination

oh, hi there

I almost forgot Tongue out Tuesday!

One of the weird things about the lack of an overpowering algorithm is that sometimes I think someone has stopped posting but they literally just started going to bed at a different time than me

since he has a wife santa claus is merried

Fake our deaths and chill?

ME: sitting on a cornflake, waiting for the van to come 🎶 INTERVIEWER: when I asked where you see yourself in 5 years, I meant career-wise ME: I am the eggman, they are the eggmen, I am the walrus, goo-goo g'joob, g'goo goo g'joob 🎶 INTERVIEWER: thanks for coming in, we'll get back to you

Mylar balloons rising beyond their visibility.

I’m not late. I’m on-time adjacent.

Traffic lights are philosophical riddles; they turn red the moment you start believing in momentum, just to remind you the universe is in charge, not you.

researching new techniques for introducing mayonnaise into the body

Getting to all my appointments early so I can shitpost for at least 15 minutes beforehand

judy blume's are you there goddamnit, don't leave me on read motherfucker

Saw things. At the gym today. I can't talk about.

The best part of getting new tech is the 30+ minutes of updates you need to download and install before you can use it. It's edging my nerdy nougat center

I never realized my full potential because "Weird Al" Yankovic was born first.

I'm never really interested in operating heavy machinery until medication cautions me not to and then suddenly all I can think about is how I desperately need to pilot the megazord.

“If you want something done right, do it yourself” me: pours myself a drink

I don't need to get roasted online, I live with a kid who asks me if it's ugly sweater day as I am driving him to school

“I’m flying!”

Have you ever been at a traffic light, for like 10 minutes, and then someone finally comes up behind you when the light turns green, and you get annoyed? Like I did all this waiting and you just come strolling up and go? My day? No, it was good. Why do you ask?

Be the funny awkward silence breaker you want to see in the world

a dragon for your woes [ #art #creatureart ]

If aliens abducted me I think I could convince them I’m one of them.

I have, on more than one occasion, been accused of making intentionally awful posts. I assure you, this is me trying my best.

#3207 Yes, after years of standing there, dressed like a tree, it finally pays off!

My dog’s emotional support animal is me. I’m getting fitted for an ESA vest tomorrow.

been saving this photo of the in-laws pet blob from christmas for strategic deployment and i think now's a good time

For fifteen years we have yearly made the 57 mile (one way) drive to the boundary waters area to try to see a moose in the wild. I can die happy now.

this one is called goose horse

there’s always an elephant in my room his name is Arthur

The first person to say okie doke must've felt like a god.

Witch House Painting study

No thoughts. Only ball.

better hurry if you want the last unlabeled, mystery can. only one left

Can't right now, busy doing things later

Seriously man any day now I'm gonna embark on you so hard (me to 2026)

On my lunch break (dissociating in my car for 30 minutes)

When someone asks if you feel more like yourself today it's always polite to answer with, "which one?"

A new year could mean a new you. A you with new antlers, moss, tentacles, thorns, fangs, and a darker determination to change the world around you.

What's your favorite kind of ghost? 1. forlorn spirit 2. wandering sprite 3. pesky poltergeist 4. omen of doom

he looks like he pepper sprays himself in the face to build up an immunity

I wish you could believe in me as much as you can’t believe it’s not butter.

God why does laptop hibernate/sleep/shutdown behavior have to be so fucking obscure.

Clearest image ever taken of Phobos. A Moon of Mars.

#AlphabetChallenge #WeekAforAbstract One last Christmas photo to mark the end of this holiday season. Lightscape at Fort Worth Botanic Garden 2023 #epiphany #xmas

Found this in the wild today. I’m assuming it was meant for me so I’m keeping it as a little good luck charm

9/22/12. #photography