i knew it was a mistake to take off my eclipse glasses

kvetching but fetching

Ummm yello.. 🧐 🍋 …. #art #oilpainting

Post the 843rd pic in your roll right now!

If you take a photo of yourself wearing any kind of reflective sunglasses, I will zoom in to see what you saw.

when you saw only one set of footprints in the sand, that's when a Great Horned Owl swooped down to snatch me up and fly away but then ended up releasing me because i “asked too many questions”

hey girl, pirated movies and chill? i got the new zootopia dubbed in italian with japanese subtitles

A budget airline is now providing passengers in-flight therapists. However, there's a fee for carry-on emotional baggage.

If you need a break from Perceiving the Horrors please enjoy my Silly Little Fridge Art

Man was not meant to perceive the legs of a Muppet. Can Kermit the Frog ride a bicycle? That is not ours to know. That is between the Frog and his Gods.

I can’t swallow my pride I’m on a diet

If you are looking for a scalp in particular, check out the scalp drawer, the drawer where I keep my various scalps.

mortgages are just house subscriptions

See ya, bitches. I’m off to writing AI songs about myself in my own voice.

Remember. If you don't know which person in your friend group is possessed by an ancient and nameless cosmic horror, it's probably you.

Might bring this cardboard to the waterfront and bust a move, might take a fistful of ibuprofen. Life’s a dance

I forgot my yoga mat and it's making me self conscious.

FOUR NON BLONDES: I said hey! What's goin on?! ME: *deep breath* okay so...

ㅤ

Sorry I got medieval when we were playing UNO.

Asking Rooster to pick up a pizza and then receiving a pizza is some kind of summoning magic. I might be a witch.

At this point it's just a frog skeleton in a dry scorched pot

as a man it's polite when encountering a woman in the forest to lay face down on the ground and remain completely still

Using my neighbours yard to get all my frantic scurries out before bedtime

him: you ok? me, filling the bird feeders while wearing my wedding dress: yep

Not in a “Klaatu barada nikto” mood.

People will tell you there is no such thing as normal but still call you weird

This one has red hat

film noir finn

I finally went into a pawn shop and was surprised to learn they had just about everything except pawns.

Topo Chico really was like, “what if hydration hurt though???”

egret doodle

Hate it when I'm just trying to read a bunch of words all nicely arranged in a row and then suddenly the author tries to include subtext like a pill hidden in a piece of cheese. Knock it off. If I wanted to experience wisdom I'd buy a poster of a sunset.

ㅤ Beta Alpha Tao 🦇 — Midnight Imaging, 2025 ㅤ

ㅤ — Vladimir Yudin ㅤ

please doctor, it’s his foot. it’s really loose

sound of one hand clapping *click clack crackle (it’s a skeleton hand)

crushed my spirit into fine powder if anyone wants a bump

Like a shipwreck on the shore, like a castle crumbling down a cliff, like a shooting star breaking up in the Earth's embrace; time and toil wait for no one. In the end, all we have is each other, and kindness, and love.

thick like zoo glass

Explication par l'image

I like how songbirds are pretty much silent in the winter. It’s like stfu Romeo it can wait til spring

Bendy nose fox drawing

Sometimes people are ignorant for their own convenience.

Was just able to dislodge a stuck popcorn kernel without the use of a toothpick or floss, so yeah, i guess it's been a pretty decent night for me

You start your day off with coffee, I start mine off with a small dose of arsenic to build up my immunity.

Babe, have you seen the Tony Orlando and Dawn "Knock Three Times" door knocker? I want to install it today.