There's no time like the present to leave it all behind, live in a hollow tree, become a dark druid, and befriend the moss & owls. They will not hurt you like the world does. Except for the owl bites. Those are quite painful.

What's your favorite color? 1. crumbling castle ruin 2. leviathan tears 3. very old ghost 4. weird mossy stump

🌈✨ Just some color for your week

(in a suddenly serious voice) No, tickle *me*, Elmo.

The storied path from room to room.

I'm currently in HR for stealing an employee's energy drink. In my defense, I didn't know that it was Frankstein's Monster.

Another carefully curated abstraction.

For whom the beat drops

i bet water vapor is super happy when it’s in a cloud with the other water vapor

The Beatles drummer might outlive all his band mates. I didn't have that on my Ringo card.

By the time you are 40, you should have: A cursed pog collection that you cannot get rid of A refrigerator that spies on you A scar from a Waffle House employee

Once bitten, twice as likely to get a communicable disease.

a yawn so big my jaw unhinges and i swallow the universe

Less a brand, more a grimy residue.

Isn’t that life for you though? Cobwebs everywhere and not a solitary cob to be seen.

what kind of bug is this

I hate it when headlines imply the article is about mental health tips, but it's not actually anything you can use. Like "New Research Shows How To Calm Down Anxious Nerves!" And it's about editing mice genes. Oh great, I'll just warm up my CRISPR-Cas9 real quick. Why didn't I try this before?

Just call me the Boo Hoo Guru.. Coz have you tried crying about it. Works for me. Okay hug hug.

are you ready to get out of the couch? A little bit longer? OK 🤗 you can stay in the couch and you can come out when you are ready 😇

Tidal Body — Gina Kiel, 2024 Oil and acrylic on canvas

Alluring: The W40 nebula What looks like a red butterfly in space is, in reality a nursery for hundreds of baby stars, revealed in this infrared image. (Credit: NASA/JPL-Caltech)

No animals were harmed during the making of this movie, but we did dress a gerbil up as a magician, which while not technically illegal does seem worth mentioning

Wilder would like to see you in his office.

Staryard ✨

Life cycle

Sorry for liking everything you reposted recently. I didn’t realize I was just trawling your page.

*shrugs and sticks head back in the sand

Technology seamlessly blending in with nature

When you accidentally say what you subconsciously desire, you’re playing on the Freudian Slip ‘N Slide.

Putting the shell of my former self up to my ear to hear an ocean of screaming

It would seem like they could save a ton of money if they just combined the public service messages about the dangers of deep frying a turkey and the demonstration of the danger of mishandling fireworks into one infinitely more entertaining video.

I once knew a bee barber. His specialties were the beehive and the buzzcut.

A small dog barks one yard over, sparrows spill from the trees.

The zeitgeist gets all over everything.

Aaah keyboard click sounds, the wind chimes of technology

First fire in the fireplace for the season, or as I like to call it, comfy depression.

Nothing grows faster than a rogue eyebrow hair

'Cobwebs From An Empty Skull' Ambrose Bierce, 1874. Worth it for the cover artwork alone.........

Here’s some John Walker art to make your Monday a little better.

You can slap your pickle on my roast beef sandwich if you wanna

Frankenstein's monster over the years 🎞️

tiptoeing when i go outside at night so i don’t wake the forest creatures

A real man doesn't spend his day hunched over a computer. A real man should be outdoors, staggering about and saying "Hey! who turned out da lights!?" because he got his head trapped in a bucket again

Discover Tab? Never liked the stuff. 7up for me.

“Gonna get myself…gonna get myself…gonna get myself connected. I ain’t gonna go blind for the light that is reflected…” - Stereo MCs, Connected, 1992 😂🤣 Monday. How I wish I could transport back to 1992. 🌈📀

That Zoom call was cancelled. You can put that hoodie back on.

I feel dumb and I can’t decide if that’s a good thing or not.

Back to regular scheduled programming #MushroomMonday