Only Mordors in the Building.

Hamburglar’s less known brother, the Apple Cobbler Robber

Sorry for the corny joke

and I'm floating in a most uh peculiar way, and the stars look very different today

TGIF vintage book cover of the day 💜🎉😈🍇🍷

Green room #art #oilpainting

Pink scapes #art #oilpainting

got back from a little break from life spent in yellowstone ⭐

I am at dinner with four (4) people who have hearing aids and one of their batteries has died and it is chaos

I got banned from McDonald’s for using necromancy to stage a battle between the quarter pounders and McNuggets

What's the most badass nickname somebody else has given you? I had a co-worker call me Hatchet once. But you can't just introduce yourself to new people as Hatchet. Apparently.

You mean, you are supposed to bake frozen pizzas?

This goof ball. He needs more toys, yeah?

I grew mini butternut squashes this year and they are adorable.

#Photography Lee Friedlander. /Magnum Photos

Of course the roadies are proud union members 🎶 IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR 🎶

Everytime i think about buying a white shirt, i run a quick in memorium reel in my head of all my white shirts of the past #RIPwhiteshirts (Bc i spill food a lot)

Just a cat sitting and minding her business. #catsketch #cat #art #dailydrawings #dailysketch #queerartist

I vote yes!

I am going to caramelize and eat the Savannah bananas

I’m sorry I bothered you by (checks notes) liking your posts

If you see this post a bridge

[spelling bee] JUDGE: your word is vacuum KID: v… KID: a… KID: c… KID: u… KID: KID: KID: KID: KID: um… JUDGE: correct

The Transformers that we know are the ones who were rich or powerful enough to escape their home world. There is a reason they never show one turning into a Saturn.

“How’d they even find my new address?!” Me opening another bill from Columbia House yesterday

Finch, my only house bird. 🖤🤍🖤

#3105 Born to be a dancer

couldn’t find my parked car then i couldn’t find my phone to find Find My Parked Car then i found my phone but i couldn’t find Find My Parked Car on my phone then i found Find My Parked Car on my phone then i remembered i don’t even have a car 😬

Mama told me not to com[ment]

Don’t want to fuck up bird migration. No outside lights for me tonight. Only inner light. I just ate a lightbulb

When you want to send good vibes, love, and well wishes, an 80s kid can always call on the care bears 💓

*swaddles you whole*

Pickles and brats. Only dick shaped foods for me tonight I guess

Dress for the job you want

🎶Six color pictures all in a row, of a Marigold🎶

"Life is probably round." ― Vincent Van Gogh (Letter to his brother, Theo)

It’s not pumpkin spice season, or soup season. It’s cider donut season

Bird feeders are a great way to grow new surprise plants

Never give up. If you ever wish to be known for your cabinet of medical curiosities, or as a notorious bootlegger of cheap circus whiskey, I know you can do it. I believe in you.

Here at Slowly Rotating Backlit Fan Corp we believe that slowly rotating backlit fans are the future

Light leading the to work. #Photography #Odense #Denmark

More paint

Chicken shroom by the sea….. #Shrooms #Oregon #Hiking

WHATTA BEAR WHATTA BEAR WHATTA BEAR WHATTA MIGHTY GOOD BEAR (Gotta say it again now~) WHATTA BEAR WHATTA BEAR WHATTA BEAR WHATTA MIGHTY GOOD BEAR (He's a mighty mighty good bear~)

There was a rubber chicken in the bank.

Holding the doors open for the Four Horsemen just to speed things along.