this is the 4,048th lime ever made 🙏

This shit is easy

you did WHAT to the elf??

fuckin on tulsa time

losing absolutely endlessly in games of magic the gathering is teaching me valuable lessons in humility and patience and calmness …….and rage suppression

We can overcome destructive toxicity and hate by increasing the amount of bonkers fun ridiculousness

I’m so glad to finally be back at work after the long holiday break 😊 I’ve really missed the microscopically thin but somehow still straight-up 80-grit sandpaper toilet paper 😌

a ship with a large stern is called a gyacht

but somehow they do come to me 😊

much more fun if literal: strip mall

the year of the hors d'ouevre

fuckin on tulsa time

😭🚗

I don’t actually remember how to play any of our songs; they come to me through the æther as we play

these moshers better not spill my diet dr pepper

god damn I love a tamale. what a great food

tech fan: my phone tells me when i’m thirsty weathered sea captain: dolphins are the devil’s children

acab includes deedee megadoodoo

vecna sounds like an insurance company

lawful good -BUT- we have a twin bed directly next to our full bed just for the dogs, and that goes into the corner, kinda making the whole MegaBed setup true neutral

remote-viewing banana walnut bread

They should make a Nintendo69

possibly open to learning how to shut the fuck up

trans siberian gorechestra

Piano with a whammy bar

much like arizona and hawaii, I don’t recognize new years. it’s 1997 as far as I’m concerned

experts are saying this could be the last day of 2025

it’s the last day of 2025 to listen to our album. you can still listen to it next year but it’s the last day of this year you can do it. so you gotta take advantage of that

I want a hipaa violation for christmas

I bet a alien will come down to earth next year and become a new celebrity

Cider-Man

blue man onion

R u ever at a bar and thinking “it smells like a wet dog in here” and it’s cause there’s a wet dog in here

joy to the whirled

hi, I’m mathrew

cyst and decease

wanna put my poster’s heart in a toaster

bread like a bowl

the gaudybard

🎶come on baby do the jack-off-motion🎶

if these walls could cum

goon year’s eve

The week that makes you old

I hope 2026 sucks as much as this year did. I really hate change

don’t

Helper? Damn near hamburgered'er

aight as rain

six evan

talking to the coworker I hate about star trek but then he started talking about something else and I’m like nah I’m done talking to you