I always end up hovering around/near the trash can at house parties for some reason. just where I feel the most at home I guess

happy doxxing day

breaking: jingle horse found dead from alleged cult sacrifice

I love gaming

what magic cards did you get for christmas

between december 26th and jan 1st santa doesn't care what you do. it's one week to raise hell before his watchful eye returns

arghhh my mucous membrane!!

it’s beginning to look a lot like buttmas

got an epstein file as a stocking stuffer

tried to build a snowman in the meadow (as is traditional this time of year) but it’s, uhh, like 80°

Hey, ye. Yeah, ye! You faithful? C'mere

I love to say things that make no sense

CBs walkied so cell phones could talkie

what if it was muscletoe instead of mistletoe? things would be way different I bet

uRgEnT sErViCe CaLl on christmas eve? man fuck off

merry christmas and nine eleven have the same number of syllables

star trek generations is a christmas movie

Stopping karaoke to specify that I'm singing The Wind Cries M-E-R-R-Y

There's a sick sadness to Christmas underneath the glitz and glammer so few speak of but which nevertheless oozes from every corner and orifice of our age....

do you think santa and mrs claus have a healthy sex life

is it too late to try to put out a christmas album

“La Grinch” by ZZ Top they got a lotta nice Whos ah

next time my nerdy contrarian friends say they hate all christmas songs I’m going to be like “oh yeah? even the weird al ones???”

imagining the worst kind of person in the world making a crossover harry potter/stranger things fanfic called Granger Things 🤢

this is laughable to me. look I like my hometown but there is NOT that much to see here (except my sick-ass hardcore band, come see us)

here’s a holiday song my friend Chrim and I did a few years ago. you can listen to it while wrapping presents or something

not enough objectively terrible novelty christmas songs being produced these days

Donner and Blitzen ain't nothing but mammals

I hope I never hear another jackson browne song

you will get a scent of mental feelin

wilhelm scream? I dunno, ask him! 😂

Pretend I posted this back before christmas wassail baby wassail baby

putting a +1/+1 counter on your creature

remember when the “wise” men brought parsley sage rosemary and thyme?? what’s a fuckin baby gonna do with herbs, idiots

I had a wonderful winter solstice if you even care

soda can soda can does whatever a soda can

System Of A Pwn

do you ever see a guy that looks like he could be a youtuber

MMMbop a la Enya

I'll be weepcar in spirit

we have a show tonight you should come

one of the best types of chip

diss trackeded driving

ARRUUUGGHHH??

mmm I love fried air

mary chris miss

let It pee

Yule be hearing from my logyer

an important discovery I made this morning is the froggy fresh christmas song uses a mort garson sample in it