Mr. Monday Man. Couldn't be me. Unless?

getting ready for Monday morning

a bag of french fries in the mcdonald's parking lot, surrounded by grateful crows #garbageclassics

garf

Chuck Norris couldn’t stand to live in a world without the Metaverse

TIRED: Delta Force WIRED: Megaforce

David Lynch's Dune: too moist Denis Villeneuve's Dune: too sterile I propose the following solution: Sam Raimi's Dune

I could use an "absurd" amount of money

kicking it, ethereally, as one does in the evening hours

Learning about petrodollhairs

They're deorbiting the Hubble and specifically targeting my ass for this post

Banned for life but I can say conclusively that the joust is easily won by a skilled archer at Medieval Times restaurant

Costco cancelled my executive membership for this post

Featuring the Classic Hits, Serpent Safari and Serpent USA

Garfield getting a PhD in astrophysics after hearing about spaghettification

*trying really hard to think of something scary while also hungry* Hellgian waffles

Enjoying some traditional Irish music today. youtu.be/-gxz98n4Rpo

Chuesday innit

Me: Option call Exxon Mobil? No matter how you contact her, I’d say leave bad romances in the past Bound and gagged Investment Banker, trying to explain he trades securities and not equities: MMmhph mrrrmph Me: ok, a little crowdwork? sure,

rotating a rotisserie chicken in my mind but I'm rotating it on the Z axis. the chicken is, understandably, confused.

The LAST Credit (Large Adult Son Tax Credit)

don't forget to upgrade your monsters with crystals

biblically accurate allergy medicine mascot (be snot afraid)

If you itemize your taxes you can deduct the damage your Large Adult Sons cause to your home and other property

Breaking news: a flock of Canadian geese just surrounded a bread truck and flew off with it. Driver shaken but unharmed.

I'm in a real ooze-lose situation here

Oscar Grouch

Eli Sunday: Daniel, are you a shitposter? Daniel Plainview: Yes Eli: on your knees, say it Daniel: I'm a shitposter! Eli: You abandoned your gimmick, it wasn't getting traction! Say it! Daniel: I'm a shitposter! I abandoned my gimmick! Eli: Beg for clout! Daniel: Give me clout and let me get banned!

New England needs a steppe biome

james cameron stop wasting time on avatar and get those production guns firing on the alita: battle angel sequel u coward

Agony (1992, Amiga): A horizontal SHMUP about a wizard who becomes an owl and blasts his way through a world gone utterly prog rock.

Dropped a lot of "this augurs well" every time the CEO said something during the big meeting and the soothsayers were giving me the evil eye.

Explaining this scientifically while in line at dunk and donuts and getting my ass kicked

If I drink an iced coffee I feel awful but if I don't drink an iced coffee I feel awful. That's symmetry.

I have all my best thoughts at 1 am. Daylight savings time, a job, the need for 8 hours of sleep? none of those will take that away from me.

people older than me and people younger than me should not be on the internet. also people my age should not be here either. it should just be me and a dog that can type.

finally I won't look like a freak for driving a van with an airbrushed wizard on the side *taps earpiece* gas prices are going to what

Diplomacy, that is, the study of Dips,

Achieving enlightenment by eating an ice cream sundae in the Costco food court on a Friday night

On the road again

Time to find out if I'm dishwasher safe

gonna be real pissed off if I find out we're living in a universe. calling the observatory tomorrow to find out for sure.

Cause you're the only 6 7 I see.

ants swarming a dropped ice cream cone, a child crying in the distance #garbageclassics

You need ‘a supplement’? Uh huh. Yeah you need ‘protein powder’. Lol. Yeah no nothing just surprised your body doesn’t just kick ass on its own but hey man that’s great

You can have your last name be Money. Michael Money taught me this.

Malfunctioning airport moving walkway asmr [complaining, Boston accent] 10 hours

Battle it out with over 60 selectable fighters from across the Dostoevskyverse

Asking my physician which dietary soda will cure my ailments and he just writes me a prescription for a coke freestyle machine