Impulsive Thought Update: Homestar Runner singing "White Beretta." Thank you for your time.

Yeah, if I was Chris Pratt, I wouldn't want my kids to accidentally find out how bad I was at my job. I'd probably tell me kids I was a super cool guy and I wouldn't want to shatter that illusion.

TOM HOLLAND: Wow, cool. Hey, how do you know so much about spiders, anyway? KEITH DAVID: I was in the Amazon with your aunt when she was researching spiders right before she died.

An alternate cut of Train Dreams that replaces Will Patton with the Dracula Flow guy.

These are unprecedented times. And as such, I agree 100% with these Yankee fans.

Excited for the first of these data centers to fail and be abandoned to introduce the concept of stray robotic dogs to reality.

AKA Adem Ghola

Spiritually embarrassing for a spattering of one-second clips of Spider-Man doing a flip to drop at the same time as that fucking DUNE trailer.

go the absolute fuck off king

This is a lie on a scale of Elon Musk saying he would cut the deficit to zero. Just insane. Not just untrue, but the opposite of the truth, which is that immigrants are lowering the deficit. www.cato.org/white-paper/...

I think one are where we've largely failed at least a whole generation of students, and I'm seeing it on full display today, is that the appreciation and understanding of art has been replaced by the idea that a text has a concrete capital-M Meaning that can be distilled from observing it.

The Genesis one is also a prequel about stealing from the various Chicago mobs.

Obviously, there's a lot to hate about what the perennially hateable Marc Andressen is saying here, but the thing I catch on most watching it is the interviewer's idea that reading CEO biographies is illuminatory about said CEOs' inner lives, when most of those books are pure LinkedIn Hagiography.

MrBeast Offers $50,000 To Anyone Who Can Survive Seeing What Lies Beneath His Mask https://theonion.com/mrbeast-offers-50000-to-anyone-who-can-survive-seeing-what-lies-beneath-his-mask/

I can’t think of anything that would improve the Scouts’ reputation more than telling Pete Hegseth to go fuck himself. I was a boy scout my whole childhood and every now and then we’d run into another troop with one of those shitty military dad scoutmasters who cosplayed like Patton. Loser shit.

I feel pretty okay-to-good about all the major wins last night with the sole exception of Best Supporting Actor, a cartoon-ass performance that won out over a lot of more deserving work.

A big takeaway this year has to be that Sinners and One Battle After Another were big, artist driven, swings bankrolled by WB whose future is ultimately unclear. I like living in a world where people like PTA and Ryan Coogler get to make the films they want to make with those resources.

giant anime nerd wins extremely deserved oscar and i love that for him (and for us)

You can’t do a bunch of stupid comedy bits and then play people off when they’re having the biggest moment of their life. It’s bullshit.

Rewatched Sinners a few nights ago, and I believe more strongly than I originally did that Grace did nothing wrong.

Amy Madigan becomes, FINALLY, the first Oscar winner from STREETS OF FIRE

Has Laura Dern come at Kate Hudson yet for stealing her man?

This is Amy Madigan and Ed Harris refusing to applaud Elia Kazan's honorary Oscar in 1999. During the Blacklist Era, Kazan named names. Good on Amy and Ed.

So gratifying to finally see Mortal Kombat and 2 Fast 2 Furious honored by the Academy

Can’t see this Burger King ad without my mind immediately going here.

actually, the oscar went to frankenstein's *costumes*

Why the fuck would you want a FIREFLY animated series when there’s a perfectly good OUTLAW STAR like *right there*

Really disrespectful for them to continue awarding Best Animated Short after Kobe won

That SINNERS number was ambitious, but kind of accidentally threw a spotlight on just how great a director Coogler is by virtue of how chaotic the onscreen presentation was. In the movie, that is the moment of the year and communicates volumes.

ME, WEEKS AGO: I hope the leftist oyster fisherman guy doesn't turn into another Fetterman. THE MONKEY'S PAW: Oh, don't worry, he'll actually be worse.

i think we should all remember him how he wanted to be remembered, since he took so much effort to get the special silver sharpie and everything. fuck you, you unrepentant, homophobic piece of shit.

our guy

sometimes people say it’s good that we know who the racists are but i have some degree of nostalgia for when more fucking racists hid under fucking rocks

The Strait of Hormuz is open for transit.

unbothered. moisturized. happy. in my lane. focused. flourishing.

Laker Fans Furious As Bam Adebayo Dies In Even Worse Helicopter Crash

1st Edition of 7th Sea is maybe my favorite tabletop RPG of all time in all its janky 90s glory. 2E was one of the biggest ttrpg crowdfunders of its moment and it produced a deeply unplayable game. After running a playtest for 3E, I suspect it could have some juice.

"Where are the campus protests now?" asks the smartest boy after 18 months of concentrated effort to denormalize and punish campus protests.

I think about this a lot.

Dr. Mel: pulse ox is 69 Dr. Santos: ni– Dr. Langdon: IT IS NOT "NICE" DR SANTOS

Last week I shared that I’m hiring a junior designer, but, also, our trade art department as a whole has a total of 5 open roles right now. All new seats, not from turnover. 💙❤️ scholastic.wd5.myworkdayjobs.com/External

🎵We gotta say I, I, I, I, I, I Ain't gonna play Roku City🎶

Big straw

NEW to Kaleb Horton’s archive: his obituary for Charles Portis in Slate, a review of Johnny Cash’s 1994 album ‘American Recordings’ in Pitchfork, an elegy for Pioneer Chicken in theLAnd, and all of his podcast recordings. www.kalebchorton.com/features

Kramer vs Kramer$

Pitch an unnecessary sequel: Free Duo

Finally getting through season 1 of the Pitt and deeply confident that in a Muppet scenario the one human would be Langdon.

hang on i think i figured out an even better way

I’m not saying I want Italy and Mexico to game the outcome to keep us out of the WBC knockout rounds, but I do acknowledge it would be both funny as hell and karmically appropriate.