amputation is the only cure for freeway sunburn

powerbombing my elderly landlord

6 intrusive thoughts that cost 0$ to have

(first day as a tattoo artist) oops. whoops. oops

Decaying chariot in the front yard. Kids climb in and pretend they're driving. Nobody's even seen a horse around these parts in a decade.

bringing a white noise machine into job interview

i have something to say. fuck u-haul 🖕

customer service rep asking me to turn down the volume on the micro habits that fuel depression youtube video

bringing a stalk of rhubarb into the movies

forgetting to go to the atm to get a tip for the movers and telling them they can just keep a box of their choice

changing out of my black tee shirt into my other black tee shirt

thinking about starting a feud

hiding under the bed and not paying my rent

(driving) this is like mario kart

need

starting my june reset today

putting my phone in the other room so i can focus all my attention on Relaxing Walk Across All of Skyrim | Ambient Music and Sound (12hrs)

gone off two claritin gummies

communicating with my roommate via raven

saying there's no coming back from that in all situations

i spoiled my dinner earlier eating chips and i've made peace with that

i've been unemployed but it's been a good while since i've been THIS unemployed

slammed 4 non alcoholic beers happy friday

filling my 2013 ford taurus with diesel just for fun

asking my neighbor to put me on the grill

i'm never buying a rug or putting anything on the walls. this is echo town now

it's wise to be reserved and unreadable at all times

i need to meditate on the idea of installing an ac unit for at least a few more weeks before i make a decision

ordering the newspaper through instacart and accusing the instacart shopper of reading my newspaper

Getting surprised and climbing a tree

yelling have a good night at everybody walking by my apartment window

praying for you guys 🙏 (to be less annoying haha)

nobody dox me but the store that is 300 feet from my apartment does not carry polar seltzer

telling this moss covered rock he's the first person who's spoken to me in years.

5pm red bull time

I met a rodent man in the tunnels under the city and his eyes were kind and his expression warm and welcoming

whack a mole? are you sick man

lookin like luigi from mario

Slime in the news once again

trepanning the ocd out of my brain

dream match between fireworks and my neighbor's dog

(making small talk) what do you guys think my legacy is

watching tv as an experiment

moving to a new city is crazy. grown man needing gps to get home. humiliating

i need to become more hard hearted and world weary

zyn ups cure no health insurance

the hour has grown late bossman

out of zyn poppin listerine breath strips