MAEDA

Friday fit cotton oxford, cotton knit, gray baseball pants,

Pressure cookers funny as hell. It’s like come down man what’s the rush

Sometimes you operate the forklift. And Buddy, sometimes the forklift? Well, it operates you,

Being persistent that my boss include I ‘put real zip’ on the throw in the written record of The Event

Is there any damage funnier than property damage? Yes! Property damage at work!

A workplace safety hazard? Buddy, ‘Bad Vibes’ are the leading cause of workplace injury,

🎶 Oh the yellow toast of Texas 🎶

I had a dream I was in the house of friends haven’t seen in many a year. And they lived in the same house but it was a different house inside (you know how dreams are). Anyway, they’d been expecting us but we made it quite late. No problem, we’ll talk in the morning. Through a series of dream occure

Chris Assenheimer

When someone catches something at work I throw a baseball at them and if they don’t catch it I say “Didn’t catch that one”

Me: I bet you I could throw a single staple farther than you Coworker: no way, okay Coworker, throwing the single staple a few feet: 😃 Me, grabbing the stapler, firing a staple into a baseball: 😊 Coworker: 😦 Me, throwing the baseball across the office suite, shattering a conference room wind

Lmfao

Old timey baseball player named Slapdaddy Cummings

Guy who thinks the word ‘aficionado’ is “afixinado”. He’s like, “yeah I’m kind of a baseball afixinado”

Somebody asking me about the infield fly rule and I pull out a baseball, cut it in half, and say “we have to start with the basics”

Fantasy baseball is just like d&d but about baseball

Last year around the all star break I started texting the top ranked team in my fantasy baseball league “can’t perform” at random intervals and they ended up dropping out of a playoff position by the end of the year

I came back from baseball practice one day and was like Dad do I need glove oil? And he was like, I dunno, do you think you need glove oil? And I was like, I dunno, I’m like 9

Tanner Houck whose name is pronounced, “Tuah hawk”, is a baseball pitchers for the boston red sox

Classic baseball play they’re trying to take out of the game

Fucked up the Catholics don’t have a patron saint of baseball, missed opportunity

Watching baseball feeds from around the country often leads to the unexpected effect of having to watch commercials for regional fast food joints that you’ll likely never savor. Zaxby’s. What the fuck is that. I’ll have four.

Peeling a baseball like an orange

Throwing a baseball at someone’s head while they use a VR headset so they can experience reality

I played baseball with a kid who a coach told to slide headfirst. And he did as he was told, literally. Just, arms by his sides, fucking face into the bag.

Good bit is if you’re at the ballgame and someone is like “wait, what happened, I missed it” start explaining the rules of baseball from square one

Guy naming his kid Nic and when he’s watching him play baseball he’s like “haha yeah I’m living Nicariously through him!”

A ’Grand Slam’ is the most selfish thing you can do in baseball

Smiling handsomely before hammering a baseball clear across the office suite

Baseball, a fundamentally Catholic game, is

The Day has been Opened now it’s just The Baseball

Still there

Everyone knows that in baseball you only get One Pitch. That’s right, the First Pitch

Oi luv. That’s me off to the baseball then. Tampa away with the lads. Bosh

Baseball is about mental health awareness

In baseball, the OPS stat stands for Openly Pissing & Shitting

Fantasy baseball isn’t about like, fantasizing, in spite of the name. It’s a word made up of ‘Fan’ which, you know what that means, and ‘Tassy’ from the Latin ‘Tassiari’ which is To Craft

ESPN fantasy football, eat my whole asshole, I’m deleting the app as soon as I win the fantasy baseball season, stop sending me pushes about made up teams like the ‘houston texans’ and ‘arizona cardinals’

My wife went on a yellow (safely) the other day and made it fully through as it turned red. And she was like, wow shouldn’t have done that I thought I had more time. And I said that she was fine, “the throw was there but you beat the tag” and now I’m saying that a lot

If you follow pro baseball closely you are basically a doctor. The group chat talking about soft tissue injuries and all kinds of tendons I’m not convinced are even real and shit

I am Having psychology done to me

There’s a qr code for a quiz at the end, if you score less than 100% you get hit with a baseball ⚾️

Blocking off 15 minutes in the agenda of the next all staff meeting with the title “Strategy” and using the time to go into extreme detail explaining how to execute a squeeze play

Project Manager coded

Lmfao

Lmfao I was looking for another post but this shit still funny

orange bastards are jumping off a bridge in your area

I’ve been snoozing the reminder for 1 calendar day for like seven items for maybe three months now

Creative Writhing Class