Dreamer
@elgatoesmio.bsky.social
📤 3033
📥 1136
📝 813
wondering through the woods bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaag4k6yxumoy
pinned post!
when I’m on my deathbed I hope all the cats of my life come visit me like angels
about 1 year ago
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Most doctors don’t realize when they weigh you the scale doesn’t subtract its own weight from the reading. Plus a lot of those things probably weigh like 30 pounds. That’s just bad science.
about 8 hours ago
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Fomo Simpson
about 1 year ago
February is the "overslept on a Monday morning" of months.
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Danny
6 days ago
Does Aquaman get high on seaweed?
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Theciscokidder
5 days ago
She was rare, like a billionaire that isn't a pedophile.
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Grant Tanaka
14 days ago
how was the TPusa Halftime Show For Dads Who Can Only See Their Kids On Weekends But Don’t
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Miss Havishambles
5 days ago
Could you be a bit more specific about your negative online experience. I am very nosey.
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🅿️rofessor Kiosk 💊
5 days ago
wild how rfk jr looks like someone wearing an rfk jr suit
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John Lyon
3 days ago
Me: And this is the beer room. Guest: I think most people just call it a kitchen.
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andy vs.
7 days ago
A nice thing about getting older and becoming invisible is the number of times the same person will give you a sample of bourbon chicken at the mall
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Kip Conlon
2 days ago
Ladies, if you’re looking for a bad boy, I wish you’d reconsider.
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gas station dream girl
20 days ago
If you don’t annoy your cat do you even love them really?
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Marl
4 days ago
In all the lessons in school about drugs and peer pressure, they never taught us about Girl Scout Cookie time.
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Placeholder 🏳️⚧️ 🐈⬛ [EMOJI NOT FOUND]
2 days ago
In the Shell? An Egg On The Wall Goodbye, New Fry Another Egg On The Wall part 2 Mother [Goose] Dirty Henin’ Humptily Dumb When The Yolk Broke Free In The Shell Runny, Runny, Runny The Fry Oil (only works if you pronounce oil like Benoit Blanc)
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Random Muser
3 days ago
medusa was the ultimate reverse cowgirl
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Lizzlepants 🐒
2 days ago
there should be a Goodwill place to drop off all the small bags of chips nobody ever wants to eat in variety packs
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grilled cheese 🧀
2 days ago
new executive order just dropped. they're lowering the 5 second rule to 4 seconds. what the fuck man.
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John Lyon
4 days ago
Sorry, I can’t. I have plans to not do that thing.
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Marc
2 days ago
Sometimes a mental breakdown is the only excuse I have for my behavior.
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🅿️rofessor Kiosk 💊
2 days ago
video games lied to me about the ease of using boomerangs
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DaddyJew
2 days ago
Omega-3 acids are just regular acids eager to show off their fraternity
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ash
2 days ago
A love like this or I don't want it.
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Daisy
3 days ago
I don’t hate people, I just add their pics to my dart board
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B 🐝
2 days ago
can’t believe i evolved from primordial ooze for this *gestures to everything*
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BEAVE
2 days ago
My pelvic floor is now so powerful it can defeat men with a single pulse.
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Lizzlepants 🐒
2 days ago
I am 50 years old and I still get nervous every time I cross my eyes to make a silly face and you all know exactly what I’m talkin about
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BlobStar
2 days ago
Putting time on a repeating loop of Friday night through Sunday morning. Let's do the time warp again!
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geist
2 days ago
imagine waking up on a saturday and thinking "i'm gonna start a fight on the internet."
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Idle
4 days ago
Live a little. No, not like that.
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Jay
3 days ago
The "Fuck it, send" is implied at that end of all my posts
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Toby 🇵🇸
4 days ago
I’m frequently wrong. I may even be an economist
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Katie
over 2 years ago
Pirate PSA: if you're shivering they're shivering. Bring your timbers inside
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF
3 days ago
A Placebo cover band also called Placebo
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Emma Bolden
5 days ago
flavor blasted is no longer enough for me. i want flavor WASTED. flavor DECIMATED. flavor DESTROYED
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Matty
12 days ago
Just going to start telling people I used to be in the Spin Doctors
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turbo jerry
10 days ago
saw today that some dude at work was born in 2001 & in my mind he was a newborn baby sitting at a desk using a laptop
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Damnit Janet
3 days ago
Olympics are fine but nothing beats the thrill of watching the map with the little car carrying my pizza
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3 days ago
me: im not dyslexic my brian works perfectly my brain, who i call brian: what
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ceej
over 2 years ago
before you get mad at clarence thomas maybe consider if you, too, would take bribes at your job if it were impossible to get in trouble
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frovo
12 months ago
WAITER: anything for dessert ME: i’ll have pie WAITER: sorry we ran out of pie ME: (knows math) that is literally impossible
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Frances Meh
3 days ago
i order the batter-fried fish burrito every time because i am a creature of halibut
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alber
5 days ago
cant to go to therapy and find healing because if i do boom there goes my sense of humor
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HUMPTY DUMPTY HATES WHEN I PLAY HIM “THE WALL”
3 days ago
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Steve Suckington
about 2 months ago
i wonder if there are musicians who strictly play the triangle but play the fuck out of it
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mindflakes
6 days ago
Normalise lying face down on the floor at any time for any reason
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Splendid Hobo
over 2 years ago
A large part of my life has been spent looking for a surface to put things on
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BrujoLoco☠️🖤🏺
3 days ago
imagine getting in any body of water while wearing jeans, let alone a hot tub, then imagine doing that with kid rock stop barfing
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BEAVE
3 days ago
My favourite part of the day is the performing the ceremonial blanket wrap.
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CynicalTherapist
5 days ago
The last tech I got excited about was solar calculators.
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Amy
5 days ago
i kinda wanna be that Olympics dog chasing skiers, getting pats, and living my best life
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Cosmic Clau
3 days ago
i just think that the time wasted dreaming about work should be subtracted from your actual work hours
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