Dreamer
@elgatoesmio.bsky.social
📤 2900
📥 1111
📝 760
wondering through the woods bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaag4k6yxumoy
pinned post!
when I’m on my deathbed I hope all the cats of my life come visit me like angels
11 months ago
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why try to settle Mars when we’ve already fled from its despair?
about 11 hours ago
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PAM!
2 days ago
What's it like getting to climb into bed next to someone who loves you? I bet it's like a really good sandwich.
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Viktor Winetrout
4 days ago
God: I can't help noticing Jesus has Joseph's nose Mary: [laughs nervously] What a strange coincidence
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Blair Loudly
about 15 hours ago
why does my cat give ‘as long as you live under my roof’ energy
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Melicious
7 days ago
I only like Christmas because I get to spend multiple hours behind locked doors pretending to wrap presents.
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Damnit Janet
about 14 hours ago
I dunno man, today just feels like a waste of my business pyjamas
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Theciscokidder
1 day ago
I can't wait to be put in an old folks home watching reruns of Severance and Yellowjackets.
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Matty
1 day ago
I've been waxing my car for years, and I still don't know karate
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Lizzlepants 🐒
about 17 hours ago
he’s only a 4 until you see how clean the inside of his microwave is
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Ennui Doofen
2 days ago
There are such serious divisive issues to be outraged by, but I think everyone needs to come together and fight the temperature changing 40 degrees in one day. We can all hate this equally, right?
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Steve Suckington
1 day ago
thinking about growing one of those mustaches with the curly ends but idk if i can handle everyone wanting to have sex with me
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Raquel Squelch
about 23 hours ago
I said manatee not matinee I see how they show up on time like long jokes when you're really ready to get it matinees don't so give me a manatee flexibility a floppy feel for words not a punctual punctuating perspective I peruse paradisiacal patterns beyond a frame while you call old films late
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Marc
about 21 hours ago
These days the word kinky is more descriptive of my neck and back than my sexual exploits.
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ash
1 day ago
Alibi buddies and chill.
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Juiceticles
about 20 hours ago
My faith in humanity is agnostic
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Miss Havishambles
3 days ago
Haven’t eaten a vegetable in six days.
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Idle
about 19 hours ago
They need to invent a band aid that won’t get in the way when you’re jerking it.
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mindi
about 20 hours ago
well, tater my biscuits, i'm baked
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Julie Lavender Menace
about 18 hours ago
Pay attention to what you're reading in the want ads. I needed to burn down my business, but ended up with an arborist.
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Idle
about 18 hours ago
Just like your sad, exhausted Christmas tree, I too am still lit.
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Bogey
about 1 year ago
All I want for Christmas is a look at the naughty list.
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Amy
2 days ago
how much does it cost to have godzilla stomp on you does anyone know
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Pru
about 16 hours ago
Her eyes said no but her eyebrows said SURPRISE
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'dro🐰
1 day ago
I arrive at the restaurant in my usual blind date attire: leather pants, no shirt, Bane mask
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Salty MacTavish
1 day ago
I can’t listen to Take On Me without thinking of Dawn Armstrong teaching me how to kiss properly oh sorry I thought this was my journal
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Amy
2 days ago
stop staring at me this is MY queen size pumpkin pie bed
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Tusk Jenkins
4 days ago
The most comforting thing about physics is that it explains what you're doing there without all the what am I even doing here
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andy vs
about 18 hours ago
You should be able to rev your shopping cart at people in the grocery store
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Seamus O'Flaugherty
4 days ago
Caribou by the Pixies is a Christmas song and I will fight anyone who says otherwise
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Jimmer Cork-Bottle
3 days ago
If you're just going to be ridiculous I'll take my action figures and go home.
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richie
10 days ago
when you get to heaven and they show you how much time you spent on the toilet
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bacon popsicle 🥎🥎
2 days ago
me: please don’t judge me four horsemen: *shrugging* it’s what we do me: *laying naked in a tubful of hot dog water* oh well
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John Lyon
1 day ago
Some people confuse vasectomy with castration, but there’s a vas deferens between them.
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Brick's House 🍁
3 days ago
Why are stupid people also the loudest
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Greg the Miller
1 day ago
delving too greedily and too deep into my drafts and awakening shadow and flame
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🅿️rofessor Kiosk 💊
3 days ago
so la croix is a scam right
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ficklenuts' shiny new year
1 day ago
My resolution is to be less delightful
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BlobStar
3 days ago
Anxiety is just having a whole conversation in my mind's backroom and it doesn't even need nor want my input or participation
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Mr. Bea Arthur, Dead Inside™️
4 days ago
*me, seconds after cumming really, really prematurely This is all part of God’s plan.
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Daisy
2 days ago
living on the edge is sexting with 5% phone battery
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count stefancula 🦇
2 days ago
sorry, can’t listen to your podcast, i don’t have an ipod.
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Idle
4 days ago
ethically sourced* *found on a body I innocently came upon in a forest
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Charlie Alzamora
1 day ago
Life is what happens to you while you're folding laundry.
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Roxy
5 days ago
Every one and everything needs to slow. the. fuck. down.
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ash
3 days ago
I should date. Watches Dateline..nevermind.
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Deeks 🫶
1 day ago
Shitposting to a higher power
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Uncle Duke
2 days ago
as the prophecy foretold
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Greg the Miller
1 day ago
surprise video calls from the boss should be illegal
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I'mWintersMom
1 day ago
death is proof good things happen to bad people
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Rob Cee
6 days ago
Sorry I called God "fam" when I was saying grace.
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