Have you ever tried shutting the fuck up about it?

I hate how stupid everything is.

sorry, I can't come to the phone I carry on me at all times and which is usually in my hands

This is who keeps me safe at night

all quiet on my frontal lobe

I read everything that you write

The Pina Colada song is totally unrealistic.

Intrusive thoughts game strong today

It doesn’t feel like cardio if you enjoy the activity which is why I’ve gotten back into Laser Tag.

The number of consecutive consonants in “angst” makes me anxious.

Please make the endless, merciless thinking stop.

I can't write "cut" without first typing out "cunt." But budget cunts and government cunts seem just as fair for these official university communications.

I need to pick up the pace if I'm going to be a millionaire by 21

Treasure Flower

Am I a multitasker? I can catastrophize my whole life and sing song lyrics while my skin is crawling so yes I guess so

I’ve been trying to bring healthier snacks to the office which in effect has meant mostly just giving one specific apple a field trip

Could a depressed person do this?! (takes 3 hour nap in the middle of the day)

Who up for cake and societal collapse?

I’m gonna grow out my toenails really long so I can tap out love messages to you in Morse Code.

In another life we are two spoons spooning in a spoon drawer

they’re called The Pointer Sisters bcuz they point out things to be excited for

Lantana blooming sequence 🌱

The org chart is just a map of where accountability goes to die

Survived Monday. Again. This is getting really old

What’s so wrong with wanting a little peace, love, and happiness?

America. For the love of goodness. Put a leash on ya boy.

my brain just exploded no biggie

cringe (complimentary)

At some point they started packaging regular food with names like "simply carrots" or "just pita chips" or "triscuits, free of sin"

OK, I watched The Pitt on the plane and even though medical shows aren’t really my thing, it was indeed as great as everyone says. Also, I met Noah Wyle when I was a kid and he was very sweet and handsome, and when people talked about the hot guy on ER, I always assumed it was him.

your wish didn’t come true bc you made it on some space junk falling back to earth and not a shooting star

Relationship status: Shaving my legs for a dermatologist appointment.

A Complete List of the President's Positive Qualities:

Everybody at that store was super friendly. I'll go somewhere else next time.

Who wants to come over so I can bite you?

This is a bad time to be aware of things.

squinting while looking at you to get a more flattering bokeh effect

Hell yes I want to apply for your store credit card. Let’s go through the entire process now while the shoppers in line behind me fantasize about my brutal murder.

Share our dark sides and laugh uncontrollably.

This is literally the only thing i have the bandwidth to read about today

Getting a lot of attention today it must be the hazmat suit I'm wearing.

Belonging isn’t for everyone.

jerkin' off so many body parts they call me dr crankin'stein

ICE agents should be fired, not deployed to airports.

dinner date❤️❤️

Me: one cup of temporary joy with two false hopes please Barista:

I donated my body to science and all I got was this lousy t-shirt

Kinda moody, kinda horny, kinda hungry, kinda grumpy.

resist guy who owns a cybertruck, but, like, ironically