Who said Crocs aren’t sexy?

Imagine hating me and I'm just over here wondering if I should make cheesecake tomorrow

We need more posts about reading books, holding hands, and worshipping the dark lord.

*slowly running my long, slender fingers over their rock hard body* i hope this turkey thaws in time for new year’s day

Ben is back

How I’m showing up yo the Bluesky Xmas party

do you read funny pet skeets to your pets or are you an animal

If you are here looking for love, that’s called “groomscrolling”

i enjoy things that aren’t this

To everyone that is still here, seeing my posts, interacting and laughing with me, thank you. It was a tough year for me and that is putting it mildly. Many chose to blackball me and it’s ok. What they think of me is none of my business. But we go on and it’s a new year. Let’s try to keep laughing❤️

the last saturday of the year is good for resting. made a thing.

way to capture the zeitgeist, kohl’s

me: you said expect 8” but i only see 2 my date, a weatherman:😬

is it considered a polycule if the girl you’re dating is haunted?

Cop: do you know why I pulled you over? Me: no, why? did you forget?

A dog grooming place called Crate Clips

shitposting for a brighter tomorrow

I should do edibles about it

I SAID YES (he asked if he should fuck off)

Otter pupdate! 💙 Our Asian small-clawed otter pup is growing fast. His eyes are now open, and he weighs 586 grams, right on track for a healthy, curious little otter. Proud first-time parents Pintar and Sebastian continue to do an excellent job caring for their fuzzy male pup behind the scenes.

Tammyfaysexual because I need tear-stained mascara and shame to get going

So i was traveling over the holiday…

in my gold fish era (forgetting everything after 30 seconds)

G’daysexual bc I like Aussies

my cupcakes didn’t rise.

Last night I stalked you 57 times; tonight, 56. Damn, girl, you’re losing me.

Delaysexual because there is always tomorrow

Stay sexual, because I ain’t leaving my house

Braysexual because I’m a stubborn ass

Ho-mowsexual bc I like to watch a slut cut my grass

Asexual, because I’m an overachiever

Bisexual because I’ve been working on these pipes

Demisexual, because I’m bite sized

assexual bc I have a nice ass

I’m feeling festive, wanna punch me in the face and tell me I’m your slut?

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, twelve vids of cumming

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, eleven threats he’s leaving

On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, nine DM’s chatting

On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, seven pending charges

On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, five boner pics

On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me two open sores

On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, three black eyes

Blame the Bloomin’ Onion 🧅 www.independent.co.uk/news/world/a...

Random Axe of Kindness™

“No! You’re plastered!!!” -me, to the wall I just walked into

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, a nasty case of herpes

Every last one of you should be ashamed of yourselves.

Lucien Clergue. Fontaines du Grand Palais, Paris, 1963.

Look for the shitposters