Bing's version of "White Christmas" from "Holiday Inn" is far superior to the version he sang in the "White Chistmas" movie.

Mom's mind was gone way, way too soon. The dementia got her. One minute she was her usual smart ass The next she melted into a Tom & Jerry Cartoon.

I have to braise you like I should.

Food. Sex. Sleep. Having at least two of those means it was a pretty good day.

I’ve decided NOT to tell you how I became a such a delicious tease.

That satisfying, savory flavor that isn't sweet, salty, sour, or bitter but IS served by the wife dressed as a naughty nurse. Oooo-Mommy.

You're watching Donald Trump TV. Every channel. All day. Every day.

Ok. I'll be positive. Try not to die today.

After much deliberation & with the full support of DEVO, circa 1981. I am officially THRU being cool.

Now I'm seeing ads for Ladies PJ's everywhere I go. Not that I mind, per se. A bit creepy tho, when you see Nude Lingerie ads on your bank's website. 😮

Every day's the same: Wake up (fall out of bed) drag comb (across me heed) FIND my way (downstairs) drink a cup (coffee) look up (Oh shit I'm late) FIND my coat (grab my hat) make the bus (seconds flat) FIND my way upstairs (have smoke) somebody speaks (I go into a dream) AHHHHHHH! I find things.

Ladies. Do you sleep better in $30 jammies or $330 jammies?

I was 9 when Star Wars hit in 1977. Thought it was the greatest thing ever. Other kids were like “meh.” When Elvis died, I was crushed; same kids: “meh.” Same when Lennon died in 1980. Same when MJ 'Moonwalked' in 1983. I remember thinking: What the fuck is wrong with people? Still do.

Bing's version of "White Christmas" from "Holiday Inn" is far superior to the version he sang in the "White Chistmas" movie.

Every film Quentin Tarantino has ever made is a cartoon. I love cartoons but at least I know they are cartoons.

I got a SIGNAL for ya right here, Pete. 🖕🖕🖕

getting the operation to have an Igor hump installed in my back

Let me be perfectly clear about people who say they want to be "perfectly clear". Just because you say you're being clear doesn't mean you're being clear at all. In fact it makes it less clear and more likely that you're lying. Fucking just come out and say what you mean. JFC @ KFC

Trying to convince my puppy not to eat poo. Especially her own.

Remind me again. Something about the Epstein something or other?

Let me be perfectly clear about people who say they want to be "perfectly clear". Just because you say you're being clear doesn't mean you're being clear at all. In fact it makes it less clear and more likely that you're lying. Fucking just come out and say what you mean. JFC @ KFC

The majority of Americans are ANTIFA and always will be. These fascist mthrfckrs are going to learn that the hard way. "We did it before and We can do it again!"

The majority of Americans are ANTIFA and always will be. These fascist mthrfckrs are going to learn that the hard way. "We did it before and We can do it again!"

Movie you've watched more than six times with a gif. Hard mode: no Stars (either War or Trek), LOTR, or Marvel.

Movie you've watched more than six times with a gif. Hard mode: no Stars (either War or Trek), LOTR, or Marvel.

Happy Eleventy First!

Fact. For those who do. You always end up wiping once more than needed. Sometimes it's 4. Sometimes it's 24. Sometimes it's a shower. Bidets. Replace wipes with seconds.

"Dad. The large-breasted woman is walking across the screen." My cue that Star Trek The Next Generation was back from commercial.

Lions don't have to tell you they are lions. They just are.

Raised my boys on Star Trek. "Dad. There's a transporter malfunction in the bathroom." Code for find the plunger cause the toilet is clogged. Pon Farr was fun.

People who use the term, "Food for thought", should be eaten.

For me the biggest "trick" about the Beatles, "All you need is love", isn't the song or performance in one take. (amazing) It's the fact that both John & Paul are chewing AND singing! You know how hard that is? You try singing and chewing gum on a hot Mic. You never hear them chomp, chomp. Ever!

Watched 'Idiocracy' with my 20-something sons. And they were offended by some of the language. I was happy for that. Still a shame that comedies like 'Blazing Saddles' and 'Airplane' will never be made again. Laughing at stereotypes is offensive but do we have to lose comedy as art in the process?

Be who you are. Be you. Be outrageous. Be a dentist!

#BreakingKindSongs #MusicChallenge #MusicSky December 5 Song that mentions a compass direction. Only a Northern Song The Beatles "It doesn't really matter what clothes I wear Or how I fare, or if my hair is brown When it's only a Northern song"

Almost fell for it

Well that's exciting!

Release the Epstein files AND the Kraken! Take all those fuckers out!

Just be you. Be do be do!

I bet Tom Bradford's wife actually said, "Seven is enough". Bet she even started saying it after two.