jiminy's animal reviews: The maned rat (𝘓𝘰𝘱𝘩𝘪𝘰𝘮𝘺𝘴 𝘪𝘮𝘩𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘪) holds the distinction for being the world’s only poisonous rodent, unless you count drinking a beer at a RATT concert. 🧵

I should make a sign so that I can threaten to tap it every time this happens.

Dexys Midnight Runners at ONLY number six?!? Don't come on Eileen and tell me it's raining.

hi, cis folks! do you trust the senate to decide whether you can have healthcare or if you legally exist under the law or where you can legally wash your hands or pee? neither do we! please tap into the thread & tell senators our civil rights & lives matter—even more than the jimmy kimmel show!

If anyone needs me, I'll be at the True Value fighting all the other dads.

I have now talked myself into holding this as a sincere ideology. move over One Big Union. we're trying One Big Library

Panic! at My Desk-o

Goooood morning, Bluesky! Today's episode is brought to you by OpenAI. Keep giving us money; we're almost too big to fail.

An erotic bakery called Caked Up, is that a thing?

I can just imagine Jesus up in Heaven, looking down at Charlie Kirk's memorial and saying, "Oh, man! That guy got wheels on his? That's so unfair!"

jiminy's animal reviews: The kagu (𝘙𝘩𝘺𝘯𝘰𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘵𝘰𝘴 𝘫𝘶𝘣𝘢𝘵𝘶𝘴) is a chicken sized bird from New Caledonia that definitely did not just see you coming, spit in its hands, and slick its hair back. It’s a flightless forest bird, spending time in small groups digging through the dirt for worms. 🧵

Who called it a Popemobile and not a Christler?

If they keep giving the left credit for all the accelerationist's attacks, they're just gonna double down. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

"MR. PRESIDENT! MR. PRESIDENT! Peter Doocy, Fox News. Uh... check out this sick back flip." *immediately eats shit*

TRUMP ON TRUTH SOCIAL: we NEED to put TURDS in BABY FORMULA! IMMEDIATELY NPR: with the science not yet settled, some parent groups sing the praises of therapeutic turd supplements

Goooood morning, Bluesky! Today's episode is brought to you by Sinclair, your trusted local media conglomerate.

Will I understand 10 Things I Hate About You if I haven’t seen 1-9?

It mirrors the ~ trans panic ~ in lots of ways; the right-wing framing is entirely new/unrelated to anything they've ever cared about, but they've now learned to be afraid of a thing that never in their lives they thought to be afraid of. This is how the terrible messaging works.

Admittedly, I never would have guessed that Jimmy Kimmel would be an inflection point for American liberal democracy.

They want to label us terrorists for even describing what they're doing to us. It's the ultimate exercise in gaslighting and victim blaming. 19thnews.org/2025/09/proj...

jiminy's animal reviews: This is a western lesser siren (𝘸𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘯 𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘯), an aquatic salamander with only two front legs. This makes them one of the few genie shaped salamanders. They are found throughout the southern US and Mexico, but have recently been found as far north as Michigan. 🧵

Literally anything but therapy.

is this

He’s got a point

the hyuckleberry is the goofiest of all the berries

Why did they call them parishes and not priestincts

a nickelback whale is a lesser known species of whale that never made it as a wise man

anyway here’s @vivmccall.bsky.social with some extremely good and extremely fucking sobering reporting on the recent surge in random hate crimes directed at trans women in Seattle. Please be careful, everyone. www.thestranger.com/news/2025/09...

Once again, the rapture has been postponed due to low attendance.

Hell 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘩 I'm double jointed. *gets too high to go to work*

Goooood morning, Bluesky! Today's episode is brought to you by Live Nation. Contrary to what you've heard, we do not work with middlemen resellers. We are perfectly capable of fucking you over on our own.

jiminy's animal reviews: This is a type of wrasse found in the Caribbean Sea known as a slippery dick (𝘏𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘴 𝘣𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘶𝘴), which was also the Secret Service’s code name for Bill Clinton. They’re not valued by anglers or aquarium owners, so it seems nobody wants to put their hands on it. 🧵

Great. Now I can go back to not watching Jimmy Kimmel.

None of this would be happening if the White House had oompa loompas to sing cautionary songs as members of the administration were getting wheeled out during trump 1

stephen miller’s organs wish they could donate themselves

Apparently on Christian tiktok they're predicting a rapture on Tuesday. So I'm going in to work early, laying out an outfit of clothing in my office and pretending it got me.

Bought an electric scooter to kill myself in a funny way but now it won't pair with my phone, so the kill yourself button doesn't work. Nanny state bullshit.

Goooood morning, Bluesky! Today's episode is brought to you by the UFC: you bring the bread, we bring the circus.

Enya took her piles of money, bought a castle, and lives there alone with a bunch of cats. Enya is correct.

28% of Americans believe it’s not butter

Aaaaaand coming in late with some #Caturday content is Fig, doing a Dr. Who impersonation. The one with the scarf. Don't ask me which one; I've never watched it.

I have been saying this for 3 years now; it is evident from even a theorerical understanding of these systems' operations. But ppl keep claiming it's not true or not important, or could be patched over, & so I keep hoping each time an "AI" company CEO comes out & admits will be the one that sticks

Voted “Most Likely to Ask For a Plunger at a House Party”

It's really funny how every GOP politician keeps tweeting shit like, "THE WOKE RADICAL ANTIFA KEEPS SNEAKING INTO MY HOUSE AND PUTTING THIS STUFF ON MY HARDDRIVE WE MUST DESTROY LEFTISM!!!"

Quote post with something funny about you: I hated all my English classes in school, but I wrote two novels.

quote post with something funny about you I have a framed letter from Joe Exotic on my dresser that makes me smile every time I see it

Quote post with something funny about you: I have a scar on my hip that looks like this face: 😑

If you see this, post a robot.

If you see this, post a robot.