I invite the Adversary into me! 😃

Top 5 Surprises in "Stranger Things" Season 5 (SPOILER FREE): 5. Vecna played by Jon Lovitz 4. The lavish musical numbers set in the Land of Oz 3. Winona Ryder keeps finding reasons to say "Beetlejuice" and wink at the camera 2. They go to space 1. New catch phrase "Who's upside down now, bitch?"

We're burning this woman at a witch trial and it turns out she is a witch after all. Totally fireproof. It's cool to be right but I don't know what we do next now

Post your favorite “The Lord of The Rings character. Wrong answers only.

Introduce yourself with 5 digits from your SSN. Preferably the last 5. Thanks in advance.

"I may need to get a gravy boat," and other thoughts I have that would have embarrassed the fuck out of me twenty years ago.

"Still punk as fuck," I assure myself as I stir the green peppercorn sauce.

deer are not vegetarians, one of my favorite fun facts

We now have an official family motto for Thanksgiving 2025: The duck dictates.

He played Bridge with Professor Biscuit.

HELP ELEANOR COME HOME.

Walking in Chicago right now

In fact, it does not bother me at all that on my sister-in-law’s sister’s master Thanksgiving food contribution spreadsheet, under my contribution, it says, “Champagne & weird side dish.” You know what? I’m proud of that.

Oh, you brave iconoclasts, coming out against pie. Who is as cool as you? Nobody.

I am so attached to all of your animals. I’m devastated when you have to say goodbye to your beloved pets ♥️

“Bad luck, Ghorman.”

Okay friends, important question: who has a stuffing recipe they really love?

"Farting" describes dramatic, discrete events. I am leaking methane and assorted aromatics continuously.

See now this right here is the reason social media was invented.

Excellent advice!

Shh! Quiet! I think I hear Jordan Peterson weeping.

It's official, the ayes have it, Team Goose has been soundly defeated and this delicacy from my hometown is now going to be the main event of Thanksgiving dinner

when we say we want more streets to be pedestrianized, this is what we mean

Saw someone describe keeping your cats indoors as woke. Is it woke to take care of a pet

My opinion of Star Wars is that it needed more faces on moons and planets that annoying rockets could launch themselves into

Looks like a great way to get some leg burns.

"Yep, that's me. You're probably wondering how I got here."

seen on WT Harris in E Charlotte

If The Rule You Followed Brought You To This, Of What Use Was The Rule, Charlie Brown?

This is the water. And this is the well. Drink full, and descend. The horse is the white of the eye and dark within.

The girl that was shown to you earlier...you will say "this is the Charlie Brown."

Frankly, Charlie Brown, I don't give a damn.

Thank you to the Parkway Theater in Minneapolis for stocking the green room with the potato chips of my homeland!

My child is autistic, but I was hoping to make him MORE autistic. Should we double-dip on the MMR?

hard to believe that tim robbins is tim robinson's dad

I'm married so I guess I'm bi.

Midwestern exorcist: Well that's not what ya want

The empty dining room in my hotel. I think I’m in THE SHINING.

Hoagy Carmichael, born on November 22, 1899 in Bloomington, Indiana.

Tina Weymouth — Rob Verhorst, 1980

Just a reminder, “Epstein” is the name of the sex trafficker. The president is called “Epstein’s monster.”

Listen, I don’t know anything about the cartoon that I’m about to pitch except that it’s set in Brooklyn in 1974 & at one point an animated celery stalk says, “Yo! Zucchini! Glad to see you back in the neighborhood,” & Zucchini replies, in a sultry voice, “I go by Courgette now.”

“I am, somehow, less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein’s brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and died in cotton fields and sweatshops.” - Stephen Jay Gould, 1979

looooool

A dog ran into the yard! Charlie and the dog played and ran around for a while! The dog ran away! It started to rain! Charlie and I went inside! A busy day! Naps for everyone!

One of the first things I discovered about the world was that I seemed shut out of the best part of it. ——Gerald Murnane

Cue the Mission: Impossible theme.