Guy has writer’s block, goes to the doctor. Wants to write more poems but can’t get words out. Doc says maybe your pen is just empty. Go see great pen guy, Bic Pen Tammiter. But doctor, iambic pentameter

I'm a peepee truther (that's not peepee from the peen)

“I also choose that guy’s dead wife.”

sorry but it's a crime that taylor's cats aren't in the new video, like from the moment they read they concept they were just sitting around waiting for the call and then shooting begins and meredith is like whos that fuckin rock?

Any of my #BobDylan mutuals planning to be in Tulsa for the Blonde on Blonde show on the 20th?

Have I mentioned recently that I made a movie?

Pretty close to what I said!

omg I am (in the most technicality way possible!) in the Epstein Files, thanks to the 2007 blogroll of Radar Online www.justice.gov/epstein/file...

The Big Kill (2026) (🤞)

Finally it’s safe to say it on here: Top Secret isn’t funny

Truly heartwarming to see him get his ass handed to him by kids wearing hoodies that say "choose kindness always" and "kill your local pedophile."

JE: doc...,, =sad DOCTOR: What you need is a vacation. Great pedophile Jeffrey Epstein has an island near here. You should visit. JE: ,,b uttt do-crt im am

Kind of perfect that Epstein carefully but incorrectly spells out the name of the company and then Barak repeats the spelling back to him in a different incorrect way and Epstein is like, yeah that's correct

I’m suing NYT Games for religious discrimination

People are calling out reports that Melania had the biggest opening for a documentary in 10 yrs by pointing to the Eras Tour movie because they don't realize that concert films are classified differently than docs. But the TLOAS movie is arguably more a doc than a concert and that had a $34M open so

ME: Well, when you buy a classified ad they charge by the word CHOTINER: But you must have known people would find it sad ME: I mean, I knew it might help make a sale but— CHOTINER: And to be clear the baby was not dead ME: He just grew out of them too fast! I didn't intend— CHOTINER: Fraud? ME: No!

This part is so funny to me because that's probably like $2500 max

Honest conversation between Bruce Springsteen fans

I just heard Christian bands that pretend not to be Christian to attract a wider audience called "bait and Switchfoot" and that may be the best pun of all time. @jasonkirk.fyi

I do think, since this is potentially a legal matter where exact language will make a difference, that the media should be accurate about the joke. Trevor never actually said that Trump had been to Epstein's island (though listeners may have understandably inferred that)

DOCTOR: I told him he needed to get out to a show, that was how he would cure his depression. CHOTINER: So you learned this technique in school? DR: No, not— listen it was good advice. Pagliacci was in town. C: Right. Is it standard to give advice before learning a patient’s name? DR: Now look

Fun little vibe shift from Chotiner as he interviews the Melania cinematographer. Not even bothering with tough questions, just going full sarcasm and enjoying the oblivious replies. www.newyorker.com/culture/q-an...

I'm not saying they shouldn't have won before this, but it's no lifetime achievement consolation prize. This is in fact one of their finest albums.

Take me down to the paradox city where the box contains both a live and dead kitty

I don't think I've ever seen an emoji in a NYT news article before www.nytimes.com/2026/01/30/u...

New NYT Scrabble knockoff not helping the paper beat its stooge of the administration rap

<John Lennon Revolution 1 voice> ...in

R.I.P. Trump's New Tone (again)

Yes it generally sucks when companies force AI into everything (looking at you Gmail!) but Spotify's new prompt-generated playlists are both fun and useful. I've never been able to make an all-purpose playlist that really works for me until I could spell out this, which I set to update daily.

Well, well it looks like my decision to never see a Darren Aronofsky film for the last two decades of everyone saying "you have to see the new Darren Aronofsky film" has finally paid off

Did people in 1970 find it super cringe when Charles Schulz named this dude after a pop music story from a year earlier? Like if you dropped a character now named Brat Summer.

lol that all the papers in this look like theyre already 200 years old because ai and the people who use it are incapable of thinking

My personal feeling about protest songs is that when they don’t try to be timely they somehow always feel timely open.spotify.com/track/2pcpzc...

I believe this was said at a training but I'm skeptical that it's an argument ICE has actually made. Feels more like an urban legend.

Chat GPT-ass song, sorry

“I’ve enjoyed tonight’s debate, and I think there was a lot of commonality here.” -- Tim Walz in an actual debate with Vance when it mattered

One Perfect Shot

Powerful statement!

One Perfect Shot

Traveling Wilburys reboot sucks

A week ago Jeffries refused to whip votes to block ICE funding because it would have been a risky stand. Had he done it, it would have looked like bold and prescient leadership today. Even politically, not just morally, it's usually worth taking risks to do what's right.

I need to take out an ad apologizing to the Jews. What's the name of that money newspaper they read?

Matt Moberg is also an artist. You can buy some of his work here www.mattmoberg.net/prints

Taylor Swift songs I don’t relate to and why: 1. I can see you - there is no one besides me in my room right now 2. Teardrops on my guitar - I can’t play the guitar 3. Paris - I’m not in Paris 4. I did something bad - I did nothing today 5. Betty - my name is Alexa

The administration is genuinely furious that Minneapolis hasn’t rioted yet

My personal opinion on Mel Brooks movies is that the run from 1967-74 is basically perfect (granted I only saw 12 Chairs once a long time ago) and everything from 1981 on is mostly dogshit (granted the same caveat for Life Stinks). Since I haven't seen the 76-77 films since 76-77, would I like them?

This book is so funny because every other page is like "here's the 10 different ways Mel Brooks has told the story, now here's what actually happened."

Greenland has one Jew. Unfortunately this article doesn't ask him about the other synagogue he'd never go to.

Rock critics in 1973