I know antifa isn't a real organization because I don't get 40 texts a week from them asking for donations.

This Trump health announcement is like a Norm Crosby sketch.

How will I know if the Rapture happened? I live in L.A..

I'm trying harder not to make Nazi references to the Trump administration ever since Kimmelnacht.

It's like they were trying to work around the fact that they were kids.

I'm trying harder not to make Nazi references to the Trump administration ever since Kimmelnacht.

Now TikTok can be like Truth Social with dancing

Revenge is a dish best served cold but Trump keeps sticking his in the microwave.

Kris Kristofferson introducing my wife and her band Maggie's Farm 30-some Farm Aids ago.

Dutch late night TV has its take

Got a question for Thought Spiral #TestShow417 ? Leave it here or use the hashtag by 9am tomorrow (Friday).

They are. The first amendment is their explicit license.

And to think that smart people don't like him.

Got a question for Thought Spiral #TestShow417 ? Leave it here or use the hashtag by 9am tomorrow (Friday).

These new Meta glasses look like having an ocular migraine but with words.

Now that Kimmel will be free from the obscurity of broadcast TV, perhaps he can become the left's Joe Rogan.

This Saturday I'm doing stand-up in Glendale so if you're going to Glendale Saturday night, allow extra time for traffic.

King Charles knows there is no better return on pomp investment than you get with Trump.

RIP Robert Redford. In 89 years, I wonder if he was ever flustered?

They have to keep calling it "The American Experiment" because no reputable journal will accept the results.

My vaccine site really feels like someone punched me really hard in the arm for no reason. I should call my older brother and tell him I'm thinking of him.

At the risk of being accused of being anti-vaccine: my arm kinda hurts from getting mine.

If Stephen Miller actually channeled all the anger he has, his parents would explode and take out a city block.

This Saturday I'm doing stand-up in Glendale so if you're going to Glendale Saturday night, allow extra time for traffic.

He's just saying what we're all thinking (when we think: "what's the worst thing a person could say?")

This was back when it was still Hadrian's Wall and Chinese Theater.

He's just saying what we're all thinking (when we think: "what's the worst thing a person could say?")

They have to keep calling it "The American Experiment" because no reputable journal will accept the results.

Watching track and field and while I couldn't physically compete in any event there's a special way that I can't comprehend ever doing the high jump. Like my body can't accept that it's humanly possible.

Got a question for Thought Spiral #TestShow416 ? Leave it here and/or use the hashtag by 9am tomorrow (Friday).

They're both right wing podcasters, they can be used as bait.

Got a question for Thought Spiral #TestShow416 ? Leave it here and/or use the hashtag by 9am tomorrow (Friday).

I feel like I need to make at least one more documentary so I can not show interview subjects just before their interview and not use that fucking fake film sprocket hole on the left side of the screen for archival footage.

I feel like I need to make at least one more documentary so I can not show interview subjects just before their interview and not use that fucking fake film sprocket hole on the left side of the screen for archival footage.

There is no aspect of this government immune to their belligerent recklessness.

Trump declaring Chicago will be his Vietnam.

Trump declaring Chicago will be his Vietnam.

This from the guy angrily demanding a Nobel Peace Prize

Got a question for Thought Spiral #TestShow415 ? Leave it here and/or use the hashtag by tomorrow (Fri) at noon.

Got a question for Thought Spiral #TestShow415 ? Leave it here and/or use the hashtag by tomorrow (Fri) at noon.

I've already put in my 10,000 hours of disliking Malcolm Gladwell

If it was a political cartoon the bags would say "YOUR RIGHTS" "DEMOCRACY" "DIAPERS"

Feeling nostalgic for when my overwhelming sense of doom on Labor Day was merely because school was about to start.

"Maybe he's dead" is now our version of a holiday.

Feeling nostalgic for when my overwhelming sense of doom on Labor Day was merely because school was about to start.

If it was a political cartoon the bags would say "YOUR RIGHTS" "DEMOCRACY" "DIAPERS"

"Maybe he's dead" is now our version of a holiday.

I'm rooting for Tommy Paul in this US Open match as hard as I can root for someone in a backwards baseball cap.

replacing Batman fight onomatopoeiae with old midwestern brewery names