Everybody jokes about Trader Joe’s employees flirting with customers, but last time I shopped there my cashier was like “Wow you just got a bunch of treats.”

When you’re getting ready to record the Thunderbolts* pod

Augustana made Boston sound like a magical place full of hope and the first time I went there somebody threw an iced coffee at me from a passing car

My goal for 2026 is to listen to even more versions of the Sultans of Swing solo on TikTok

Saying “See you next year!” on December 31st - Corny and annoying - Everybody hates you - Seriously this joke sucks Saying “See you next year!” on January 31st - Mysterious - Are you going on a long adventure? - You may not understand how years work

Teaching my kids about classic art

Dear Santa, You didn’t get me the book about anger management that I asked for and I am fucking furious.

Dear Santa, You didn’t get me the thesaurus I asked for and now I’m mad. You made me really mad. I’m mad at you

Celebrating Christmas the normal way (playing the hit board game “Kenny G: Keepin’ It Saxy”)

only one more shopping day to find that perfect spice for a baby

Happy Christmas Eve Eve, or as we call it in my household, Compound Butter Day, to all who celebrate

Merry Christmas to all

Big box office showdown this weekend. Biblical animated feature DAVID going up against Avatar: Fire and Ash. If only there was some kind of parable or old story we could compare it to.

Who thought LinkedIn Wrapped was a good idea? “You sent 47 DMs to hiring managers that went unanswered. Congrats on not killing yourself!” thanks I guess

Christmas hits different during the holidays

Tired: "Die Hard is a Christmas movie" Wired: "The Green Knight is a Christmas movie"

Couldn’t remember who Clifton Collins Jr played on Justified but luckily Google was there to help

Pregaming sleep by blinking more often

Really excited to check out Train Dreams but I wanted to read the book first

Whole squad got guns like Buckaroo Banzai

The meaning of Christmas is don’t be rich or we’ll send ghosts to fuck your shit up

Me constructing my Cinema Club: I wonder how many doors this should have.

We're pretty sure, with respect, if there was some news about Buckaroo Banzai, we would've heard

👾EPISODE 165 - THE ADVENTURES OF BUCKAROO BANZAI ACROSS THE 8TH DIMENSION 👾 We’re back with the extremely strange but also extremely charming 1980’s sci-fi comedy THE ADVENTURES OF BUCKAROO BANZAI ACROSS THE 8TH DIMENSION

December is such a magical time of year when you have kids. Nothing better than bolting awake at 4:00 am because you forgot to move an elf

Seeding a pomegranate feels like a pretty normal fruit-preparing experience until you have to spank it with a wooden spoon

Sharing one of my favorite playlists for this time of year!

They can only talk like this to like-minded weirdos. If you said this to a real person in the real world you’d get your shit rocked

they should make a meal cost one hour of wages for everyone and then ask what billionaires think

Oh so AI isn’t art? Then explain this: “Urkel dunking on LeBron.” It’s just words now but it easily could be a really bad video of Urkel dunking on LeBron

Not posting my Spotify Wrapped because I’m concerned my taste is too good and it will intimidate people

So much of being a good DJ is knowing how to google “(song) BPM”

tfw u need seven samurai

“You better watch out” ok I’m on it. “You better not cry” now hold on a minute. Surely there must be something else

I love those biscuit tubes that pop when you unwrap them. Brings a sense of danger and unpredictability to the holidays. Like the champagne bottles of baked goods

If you call your sequel The Accountant ² I’m expecting even more accounting than the original. But no. It’s just a bunch of people getting murdered

We need a better term for depression. That’s played out. I suggest the Noble Sorrow™️

Predator: Badlands is a queer movie about found family

epstein in dozens of pieces of written documentation: the presidential candidate my best friend loves coming over to my house for the young girls i rent reporters: we are getting closer to busting this thing wide open

If you’re ever wondering if something will happen in America, just ask yourself “Will this make rich people even richer?” If the answer is no, then that thing will not happen.

☢️ EPISODE 164 - The Man From U.N.C.L.E. ☢️ This week we’re doing our first Guy Ritchie movie! But probably not our last. It’s 2015’s stylish spy action comedy THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E.

Finding out the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald happened in 1975 is like if somebody told me Amelia Earhart went missing in 1984 on her way to a Duran Duran concert

even if they don’t get enough votes to cave, they flinched. they showed republicans they’re too soft to hold out much longer. anyone who was even considering a yes deserves a primary

Watching Black Phone 2. It’s ok but I’m not sold on The Grabber’s new catchphrase of “watch out, ima grab ya!”

Does this work how we think it does?

Not to pit two kings against each other, but this guy should have gotten some of the attention Baby Yoda got

Difficult games require serious study. To help guide your research, BASILISK and I are giving away a foil copy of Rhystic Study! To enter: • Follow @basilisk.gg • RT • Reply tagging 2 friends! Bonus entries available on another platform

I would do The Long Walk if they let you drink beer