If you call your sequel The Accountant ² I’m expecting even more accounting than the original. But no. It’s just a bunch of people getting murdered

We need a better term for depression. That’s played out. I suggest the Noble Sorrow™️

Predator: Badlands is a queer movie about found family

epstein in dozens of pieces of written documentation: the presidential candidate my best friend loves coming over to my house for the young girls i rent reporters: we are getting closer to busting this thing wide open

If you’re ever wondering if something will happen in America, just ask yourself “Will this make rich people even richer?” If the answer is no, then that thing will not happen.

☢️ EPISODE 164 - The Man From U.N.C.L.E. ☢️ This week we’re doing our first Guy Ritchie movie! But probably not our last. It’s 2015’s stylish spy action comedy THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E.

Finding out the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald happened in 1975 is like if somebody told me Amelia Earhart went missing in 1984 on her way to a Duran Duran concert

even if they don’t get enough votes to cave, they flinched. they showed republicans they’re too soft to hold out much longer. anyone who was even considering a yes deserves a primary

Watching Black Phone 2. It’s ok but I’m not sold on The Grabber’s new catchphrase of “watch out, ima grab ya!”

Does this work how we think it does?

Not to pit two kings against each other, but this guy should have gotten some of the attention Baby Yoda got

Difficult games require serious study. To help guide your research, BASILISK and I are giving away a foil copy of Rhystic Study! To enter: • Follow @basilisk.gg • RT • Reply tagging 2 friends! Bonus entries available on another platform

I would do The Long Walk if they let you drink beer

I’m giving out full size candy bars this year because the only other person in my neighborhood that does it is a real asshole and he can’t have all the glory

Keep getting complimented on my Bob Ferguson costume but I’m actually just depressed

🪄 EPISODE 163 - LORD OF ILLUSIONS 🪄 We wrap up Blastober with the most frightening creatures we’ve seen yet: magicians. It’s Clive Barker’s third and final film, 1995’s LORD OF ILLUSIONS

The more incompetent the leadership, the more fucked up the haircut is

I need them to make The Substance 2 but it’s just news coverage of the events from The Substance

Just learned Scoot McNairy’s real first name is John and this has rocked my world

Please be careful this Halloween. I found the beach that makes you old inside a chocolate bar

Hey sorry can we go back to your place instead? My beds Internet connection is acting up

We’re living in exciting times! There’s several mergers but also many acquisitions!

🪓 EPISODE 162 - FRAILTY 🪓 We’re going back the early 00s for an unsung cult classic in the psychological horror genre. It’s FRAILTY

👽 EPISODE 161 - ALIEN: COVENANT 👽 We venture into deep space as Blastober continues with another Ridley Scott movie. It’s ALIEN: COVENANT

I wish I responded to stress by going to the gym. but instead I respond to stress the usual way (air frying jalapeño poppers)

🪱EPISODE 160 - A CURE FOR WELLNESS 🪱 We’re going back to 2017 for our 2nd Gore Verbinski movie in the Blast Zone, this time talking about the psychological gothic horror A CURE FOR WELLNESS

They put an end date on the country 😭

Bread and circuses near me open now

🚛 EPISODE 159 - JOY RIDE 🚛 Life is a highway- sometimes it’s full of psychos that just wanna rip your jaw off. We’re starting Blastober with 2001’s Paul Walker/Steve Zahn cult favorite JOY RIDE

Best shark attacks near me open now

💊 EPISODE 158 - GO 💊 Let’s go back to the relative calm of 1999 for one really interesting night. It’s GO time

J.E. Freeman in Go (1999) is Dennis Farina’s Waluigi

what a humiliating way for don jr. to find out his dad sends birthday cards.

boxd.it/tt7G4 In honor of the premier of TASK tonight

I say I like to cook but really I just like when everybody goes around the table and says something nice about my cooking

🐱 EPISODE 157 - KEANU 🐱 Cute cats. Key and Peele. What could go wrong? Tune in to find out as we talk about 2016’s KEANU

Margaret knows what’s up

🍃 EPISODE 156 - SERENITY 🍃 Tackling one of the true cult classics this episode with 2005’s continuation of the Firefly mythos, SERENITY

You want me to give you space? The thing that almost killed Tom Hanks in Apollo 13?

There’s way too many streaming services. We need to streamline it somehow: - Bundle several streaming services into one package and you pay one price - You can upgrade this package by adding more premium services a la carte - Maybe it can come through some sort of cable idk

🚀 EPISODE 155 - LIGHTYEAR 🚀 The Toy Story side quest nobody asked for, but is actually not bad. It’s 2022’s LIGHTYEAR

Hey man we’re fearing no evil though we walk through the valley of the shadow of death later if you wanna pull up

Love a place that lets me order on a kiosk. I have very specific sandwich desires and I’m glad I don’t have to vocalize them

“We’re putting Microsoft Teams in your car” ok I’m putting arsenic in your drinking water. See I can make threats too

There are two kinds of horror movies: - ones which have a monster that’s a metaphor for grief or trauma. Those are Babadook movies. - ones which have a monster that’s just like a big spider. Or a mean truck. Those are non-Babadook movies.

Not sure if I'd believe my eyes tbh

I’d probably partake in something like The Long Walk tbh. Make a ton of money or die? That’s a win-win