it’s literally Ronald Regan day you gonna dismiss Nancy the throat goat like that?

got voted out of sexual congress :(

omg i finally hit the radar of fake zak bagans accounts, this has to make me president automatically

the menswear guy has too much power

Honestly, those are the only two subjects where I defer to his expertise

cru for president saca la basura

There should be a "not for you" tab.

why do nuremberg when we could bury these assholes up to the collar bone then ya know, whatevs

you butter be my valentine

my sleep paralysis demon is singing “downtown” in a yinzer accent

nonverbal conversation hearts are just upside down balls, why doesn’t anyone love me

know the difference illegal: i am going to call in a bomb threat legal: do you want me to call in a bomb threat?

i’m sending you all one conversation heart each for valentine’s day so if you want a specific one lmk now

i could be the first president who was at an eyehategod show in 2014

Minneapolis sign game is strong and weird.

posting ropes

i’ll turn my location on if someone wants to hunt me for sport, idfc anymore

and now for my signature move breaking up with you at the beginning of an hj

xblueskyx

the petit bourgroisisuie can kiss my ass! boursoirori bougoigogurirours how do you speldl it bourghoisiiueis

what a lovely day on The Bluesky the everything app

Your Cherokee words for today. The top word is English followed by how it is written in the Cherokee language followed by how it is spelled in English then how to pronounce it phonetically.

*pronounces plunger like hunger*

The Valentine’s cards I’m sending out.

is it smiling, it’s smiling isn’t it

killing horny teens at summer camp should be allowed actually

send me a picture of your bf so i can draw him with big anime tiddies

(my penis)

Combining holidays to save time and money

I'd be pretty mad if I was a hero in a half shell and then I went and got stabbed in the junk.

Suburban wine moms will really be like "you believe in voting? that pales in effectiveness to my strategy, firebombing a concentration camp" and then very effectively firebomb a concentration camp

okay ultra

Don't make me do it (press the button that says restore 68 tabs)

What if Kid Rock is just the Culkins’ racist uncle?

rippin a fat rail of gratitude for breakfast

President cru checking in with my presidential address: check in on your trans friends. mutual aid where you can Minneapolis needs diapers and wipes, be vocal. fight the good fight

I’ve been narcanned by train punks and I’m a fucking butcher, RFKJR I CHALLENGE YOU TO A FIST FIGHT

boosting for the sake of love and humanity

flintlock pistol buttplug called a John Wilkes Boof, cru for president.

ANTI ICE MAFIA SECRET MEETING AT 2:00 AM IN THE SECRET LODGE now that the ice agents are reading this, you’re not the same pants size you were in high school, like holy fucking shit, size up you moron.

I talk too much I’m blowing it : a memoir

Cru Jones would like a word

We’re all trying to do something for our neighbors in need here in Minnesota. My wife and I want to raise money to get diapers to families who need them. Never run a GoFundMe before. Please help if you can. gofund.me/299cbf1ff

mfer forgot the word humidifier and asked if the air wetter was on

the news is absolutely sickening so here is a puddins

[austin powers voice] do i make you violently nauseous baby?

hey [with the intention of asking you to give me your lowe’s credit card]

hello ICE agents watching my social media activity, y’all bitches, get a real job, die horny you fucking virgins, i will put you in the fucking guillotine xoxo go piss girl

i transvestigated nick fuentes and he’s smoother than a ken doll

did you ever forget you were flirting with someone bc you started watching sped up videos of ppl trimming bad lawns for free or is that just me