one time my brother spent both of our parade money on one plastic sword and he gave me the sheath to sword fight him so i put a big stick in it and he ended up with stitches on his forehead and now he’s an executive of a

People like Kane and many many others that do care about human art and the creative process have been a beacon of hope while trying to navigate making art in this current climate.

pov you’re about to lose the longest squeaky fart competition:

One day you too will be doing something mundane right before being smacked by Old Age. Sneezing; warning Tying your shoe; fainting hazard Shower; actually a deathtrap Sleeping; oof

going to start referring to people as “temu post malone” regardless of their similarity to post malone

how bri’ish

we don’t need to go to pound town, we have making whoopy at home

with hammers i can tell you that much

I’m in the sewers setting up doll furniture to make a secret bar for the rats. A squeakeasy if you will.

You have literally never in your life encountered a porcelain doll that wasn’t infested with demons

What do you think the good to evil ratio is when dealing with magical living mannequins?

I think I have ennui apnea

we're doing whimsy today, you fucking cretins

doing “Roxanne” for karaoke but only the singing the parts about rocks and red lights

I heard you joined a gym. How's that working out?

referee sting about to announce dwayne johnson as the winner: ROOOOOOOOOCKS HAND

geologist sting: ROOOOOOOOOCK SAND

“I should strangle you, you bastard.”

Throwback to when a TV station in Iceland accidentally aired an episode of Teletubbies with subtitles from the Sopranos 👌🏼

my mood ring exploded is that good

Dollar store bottled water is tasting better. Using a new hose, probably. Good hose. Makes a difference.

that’s not funny, my grandpa died baking a cake as fast he could

one time my brother put kool aid in the fish tank because “they looked thirsty” and killed them all & now he’s an executive of a company worth over 150 million dollars

i found an injured grey alien out in the woods and gave it some gatorade and it had a seizure and died

browsing discover like

I wonder what a Muppet fart feels like to the muppeteer

day 47 of playing ska music for my garden

I am at my craziest when I'm looking for my phone while texting.

may june the fourth be with you

The end is near

lucid dreaming that i can beat bryan johnson with hammers then send him down a steep san fransico street on the breaking wheel

I am a generous, kind and peaceful person right up until the moment I encounter one (1) item of news

in the end, the social media journey isn't about clout, followers, or likes, it's the friends we make along the way. the network of influential friends who, through favors, loyalty, and money, we can exploit for more clout, followers, and likes.

woke up ready for bed again

5 star reviews

dan theft auto

takey dan

okey donkey

shirt that says "i'm with stupid" in mandarin with an arrow pointing at my hog

could an adhd person do THIS

This is my vape pen, this is my gummy. This is for lungs, and this is for tummy.

slow-drip bologna

ios updated so you know what that means!!! six more weeks of war!

moving to the city gonna eat a lot of peaches they have grocery stores so i’m gonna eat me a lot of peaches

Netflix and deactivate

(Spins guitar like a propeller)