God really made sea lions like “what if a wet banana could scream”

owlspouse is being discharged today :3

there’s a serious problem in this country, and it’s stemming from people that crown Mickey Mouse as “Disneys all loving and adoring mouse” but he’s a confirmed nazi, and people just ignore that major fact. it’s sick.

i’m sorry to say he was right to do so

Still?! Invent something new ffs! Bogota Affliction! Kyoto Cluster! They should just hire me to invent diseases for spooks

shout out to the person with the bottle of piss in particular

I think about how there were like 20,000 Bolsheviks in 1916 a lot

My kid someday: Mommy, what did you do to help fight back against the fascists? Me: Well sweetie, Mommy was a piss vigilante :)

"my blackbagging vehicle is filled with piss. make sure to write that down. put in the newspaper that my blackbagging vehicle is filled with piss"

bestiality implies the existence of worstiality

SEAN HAS TUNES

ugh they doxxed the planet

not my house but i know my way around

if 'abolish ice' hurts Dems in the midterms, it will be entirely because that's what voters want to hear and all the candidates will be too chicken to say it

I am delighted to tell you that I have another job interview on Friday

🧵 The autoworker at the Dearborn Truck Plant is a proud member of a strong and fighting union—the UAW. He believes in freedom of speech, a principle we wholeheartedly embrace, and we stand with our membership in protecting their voice on the job.

As wrong lessons are constantly drawn from it, remember the U.S. civil war era was decades of conflict over the slave power with a giant war in the middle. Some of that war was conventional. *A lot* of it wasn't. Insurgencies, riots, mass strikes, assassinations, coups all played a major role.

GoFundMe for Kaden Rummler, the young trans man blinded by ICE agents this week. www.gofundme.com/f/stand-with...

why are we moots fuck off

how many shits a day should i take (already up to 3)

gonna run around town offering communion to random people as my new persona “Priest On An E-Bike” just dolling out wine and little chunks of garlic bread

1 in 10 Agent QR codes will also give a 20% off coupon to Target for any one item when purchased with another of equal or greater value* *exclusions apply see store for details

boom

hmmmm a bit concerning

For Renee Nicole Good, for her wife, child, city, country, and every person she died to protect... it's fundraiser time. I'm giving $1 to Community Aid Network MN for each repost this gets. AND $1 for each new follower I get. And if YOU donate to Community Aid Network MN, tell me and I'll match it.

more of you should turn on notifications for my posts

the people's dilbert issue #1

stupid fucking crohn’s disease

look i know all things considered this is very selfish and not at all important compared to everything else but i am desperately horny and i miss owlspouse in my SOUL

did u expect me to want ur tongue to be hairy

Yeah man all my friends in Minnesota are buying high viz vests and forming human chains at class dismissals because ICE is targeting and tear gassing schools. I wonder why parents would want information about that.

"There is no glory in writing the department newsletter. It is the task of the lowest order. I have worked in public service—I need not learn this lesson in humility a second time. But the pennies this task offers will feed my belly and shelter me from the bitter winters."

fuck my pinche chungus life

Yesterday, Partnership for Progress sent out a newsletter where Bob Weinstein accused me and my Progressive Caucus colleagues of using “personal attacks and [the race card]” and that we “recast disagreement as prejudice.” All I have to say is that a hit dog will holler.

owlspouse was supposed to come home today. but things took left turn as it were, and now they’re running more tests and scans. imminent surgery now much more likely. i’m so tired

proud to announce that i have begun work on the people’s dilbert, an all-trans adaptation of scott adams’ legendary comic

Hey y’all! REMINDER: I am LEGALLY OBLIGATED to award at least one scholarship to a Louisiana woman. And no Louisiana women have applied. This happens every year where we have to beg women in my own state to apply and Idk why. We’re in our 6th cycle! Come get this money! ThurmanPerryFoundation.org

lol Bari Weiss is gay?? rofl

Kind of worth noting to Canadians acting obnoxiously superior over the US and their descent into fascism, is that the vehicles ICE are using in Minnesota were likely made in Brampton. #Cdnpoli

There are lots of reasons to compare what is happening now to Nazi Germany and there are also lots of reasons to compare what is happening now to the post-1850 Fugitive Slave Act U.S. and it's *weird* how people respond with interest to the former but total confusion to the latter

Remember, they're own argument is if they're innocent they have nothing to worry about. There's no reason for anyone to be concerned about this.

society isn't a prison, it's a factory farm, and we're for dinner! this is the premise of my new film "what if the whole globe was a factory farm for humans"

fuck sports tbh