there is honestly too much all the time and I am starting to have a really hard time fighting the depression, I am always tired and I just don’t want to be anymore

so many LinkedIn invites from “founders” of “companies” who graduated from business school 2 days ago, like I get it, you have generational wealth, you don’t need to rub it in

considering a poly relationship only because I can’t figure out how we’re supposed to do work AND personal life chores/tasks and the only solution I can come up with is adding a slutty little house husband to the mix

DO YOU THINK THIS IS A MAN ANYONE SHOULD RESPECT?! I WOULD K M S IF I WENT OUT IN PUBLIC LIKE THIS!

my husband was doing a bit where he was dirty talking without saying any bad words, and he called me his “semen pal”

The reason the bullet doesn't say "Fuck Ice" is that the FBI is run by a content creator freak who still thinks in terms of "I can't curse or I'll get demonetized."

"[Politician] doesn't owe you anything" excuse me but a politician who would like the job of representing me does, in fact, owe me something Campaigns are job interviews. Politicians work for us. We call elected officials public servants for a reason

I hate having to work when all my ADHD brain wants to focus on is making tiny miniature houses with the cutest little 1:144 scale teacups

u should be allowed your own opinions on things. u shouldnt have a political identity for your opinions. a political identity is when those opinions stop being yours, and when they start being a form of submission to a group rather than a form of submission to Allah alone.

Neurodivergent folks should all be paid a stipend to do things we like to do, and the world would end up benefiting from it.

there is a strong correlation between high socks and baseball autism

DUMPTRUCKASSERY: Sosa and Bader 🍑

tanner banks and otto kemp are obviously himbo bc mustaches

I can’t check my phone during meetings because I just know my husband is going to make me have to explain why I am randomly giggling

one of my direct reports just explained the 2 wolves meme to me because he thought I was too old to know about it 😭

my husband is off work today and he told me he is going to that weird chuck e. cheese in NJ to kneel at the foot of the rat and atone for his sins before the rapture happens

Just told everyone at work to go fuck themselves, when does the rapture start

Happy Bisexual Visibility Day to all the bisexuals who did not get raptured.

the train is packed, like I’m so disappointed in these people, not a single one of these heathens got raptured!

Can’t we just have one day where everything isn’t stupid

dudes rock

Once again remembered that this was in the newspaper

I am seeking 50% of rental income from the property I am renting. After all the landlord wouldn’t be making any rental income if he didn’t have a tenant. Furthermore, if the rent is being used, in whole or in part, to pay a mortgage for the property, then I am entitled to an ownership share as well.

me, last night: I am going to take the 7:03 train me, upon waking: I am going to take the 7:30 train me, right now: I am going to take the 8:06 train

knew these would come in handy

I actually have invite codes for the low! Hit me for my Cash App! You don’t wanna miss it!

Also, really rude for the rapture to happen on my anniversary. Thankfully, spouse is still here, but dinner could be ruined.

the rapture is in beta testing right now so you’ll need an invite code from someone who’s already there

i have autism, i’m the reason people fear it. “oh shit, they’re gonna constantly count in their head and make stupid memes and post constantly? oh fuck no, dont get that vaccine little Susie, you dont wanna end up a raccoon online.”

I got raptured early so I’m posting this from the big six flags great adventure in the sky

wait there is a rapture tonight? why the fuck did I finish my work project?

Gonna just say, if it's this easy to protest against the monolith that is Disney. Then there is no excuse for people to be clinging to Harry Potter. Like, if the needle can be moved against Disney, people can make it move against JK Rowling. Stop the flow of money into her accounts,

The word “autism” was first used to describe behavioral differences in children in 1911 but autism has been documented using available records going back to the 1700s (definitively) and further. Acetaminophen (Tylenol, paracetamol) was discovered in 1878 and first sold in the United States in 1950.

I slept 4.5 hours last night, started work at 6:30am, had a mild breakdown in the middle of the day, and I am so exhausted that I am employing my foolproof strategy: take my edible and see how much more I can accomplish before it hits and knocks me the fuck out

When you go to the ballpark, they sell you a book full of statistics and a spreadsheet to fill out while you watch the game.

me telling my grandkids what it was like to have vaccines

remembering getting thrown out of intro to science and technology studies my freshman year because a bitch started fake crying about how her aunt wouldn’t have vaccinated her baby if she knew it would lead to autism and I just couldn’t stop myself from saying “so she wanted a dead baby?”

I'm an autistic adult and I don't have a disease. I just think differently. There's nothing wrong with me. In fact I joke it's my super power because I remember damn near every random fact and figure! It's super helpful for my job in healthcare! I hate this so so much

I am truly going insane because like, literally EVERYONE knows someone with autism, probably even A BUNCH OF PEOPLE with autism, like how is there still so much fear of autism, come the fuck on

FUN TV FACT: Comedy Central's "The Daily Show" was named after how often I think about killing my self

I can’t believe how much tylenol JT Realmuto’s mom took while she was pregnant with him

how can a "liver" die? It's right there in the name!

as someone with a public health degree working in pharma/biotech, it fucking sucks to exist in this timeline

liver failure? that can’t be right because I’ve been a “live-er” my whole life!!

I have hepatomegaly which means my liver is too big to fail.

hell yeah! the “liver” isn’t real, therefore it can’t fail

🎶 she’s a cowboy in a backpack she rides she’s wanted (wanted) fully alive 🎶

The government knowingly putting false information in the label of a drug is crossing a Rubicon that should not be taken lightly

people who are replying to me with “duh, of course they do! you fucking loser!” really have no idea how tiny Mochi’s brain is my dad literally says “she is the perfect amount of stupid for a dog! the amount that makes her incredibly loving and lovable” I have no idea if she knows her own name tbh