Fuck real food. Get Taco Bell

Find me screaming silently in the "Dickinson Quiet Space" in the Baltimore Convention Center in 3 weeks

Wow, this is rude.

Lmao oh no

There is no Saturday for you. Go write your book

I don't even know what a writing residency is. Do they let you take off your job to do it?

I didn't want to be happy. I wanted to write books.

I have a favorite mug that says "God put me on Earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I'm so far behind, I will never die." So yeah, no dying until I'm done doing what I need to do.

New plan:

This is what I told my financial advisor when he asked about my retirement plans

What if we just refuse to die? Just say no thanks, I'm going to be a Literary Writer and live forever. I didn't want to be happy. I wanted to write books.

Me as a library administrator

What if we just put up a giant sign that says Books

All you have to do is close your eyes and recreate the literary world in your heart

We don't need book reviews. What if we skywrite the best lines from our books in the air? Everybody gets one loop-de-loop in the airplane

Unironically inspiring to me today. ❤️

Your best work comes from those moments in which you hate yourself the most. You've got this

The Paris Review is in the Epstein Files! It was first started by the CIA as a propaganda tool! They cannot acknowledge the Taco Bell Quarterly because they would have to acknowledge they're built on an inherently evil and rotten foundation.

The Paris Review is in the Epstein files, so, fuck it! A chalupa supreme themed mag may as well be the new literary standard bearer.

If you’re in the query trenches (or a writer at all) please read this wonderful post from Mick, one of the brilliant minds behind TBQ, which you should also be reading. Especially right now with all the atrocities going on, art made by humans is so important.

Trust me, I've been doing this totally accidentally in a burrito costume for 7 years. I’ve intimidated the Paris Review, gotten grilled by the New Yorker, and stumbled ass backwards into the Simon and Schuster offices and I'm telling you none of this is real. All of these assholes are making it up

Updated the blog, free writing advice open.substack.com/pub/tacobell...

Hey internet strangers, a long time writer friend of mine and one of the earliest supporters of TBQ suffered a stroke this week and if using my platform can help his beautiful family in any way, I'm happy to do it! gofund.me/212e79a0f

Hero! We eat this slop! Nacho fries are now permanently on the menu!

Algorithm please find me people who would be interested in seven trash bags of ALF dolls open.substack.com/pub/mmcarrig...

Even though this is 100% correct, I did not need this level of emotional damage today.

Being a writer is the most embarrassing thing in the world! I write down the entire contents of my soul for validation! And then some editor will just be like no thanks!

The main thing I've learned this whole journey is nobody knows what they're doing so you're probably doing fine!

Genius

I'd rather slam my head into the wall than ask AI for help on this creative problem, Thanks

ME:

writing group in a Taco Bell parking lot at 9 PM on zoom in July

Hear me out: a writing residency where I get to write anywhere else but the hell immediately surrounding me

sometimes i say in interviews - i'm pretty sure there will still be axes in a thousand years, but i can't say the same about smartphones. in this and many other ways literary magazines are like axes 🪓

It is already impossible to run a literary magazine, so AI can't replace us

If the AI Apocalypse (LLM Edition) happens, the only things of value will be the things that can not be emulated by AI. Find your weird and make it sing, babydolls.

Back in my day life didn't used to suck this much

We can make our own things, y'all. Everything is made up. We don't have to live like this. We can make new rules. Live Más!

I'm fully confident literary magazines will survive the AI apocalypse. There is no better time to become a creative writer. You already have an inside track because most people have never even heard of these things that can never die. We will be here with the cockroaches and Taco Bell

This is the foundation that a long lasting relationship is built upon.

This is just foreplay

First date idea

This is how I sext:

What if we closed our eyes and held hands and tried screaming in the hole together at the same time

It used to be that victims of murders in the U.S. would be smeared by InfoWars and Gateway Pundit as a way to fetishize guns and violence for ad dollars and supplement sales, with the added benefit of cozying up to far-right politicians. Now that work is done by CBS News.

I'm certain you can write a book. Creating a whole ass human being who will become an entire universe unto themselves only takes 9 months!

Don't take away my slop bowl that corporate mommy makes for me after Daddy Taco works all day, Salon

That's it. From this moment forward, I'm referring to my top surgery as having had my "tits blown off". "Oh, what are those scars from, Finn?" "From when I had my tits blown off. Never could find the nipples." Genius. (Congrats @tacobellquarterly.org)