Midwest emo? You mean Math rock for even sadder virgins?

Nothing like commuting to work on a frozen Sunday morning after a 2 month vacation

At least we know aliens aren’t real because they didn’t show up in the Epstein files

Watching bestie unmedicated pinball around the apartment as I get ready for a day at the theater

Walking around in my underwear post workout and shower when bestie comes sprinting up to me Bestie: can I 👉👈🥺 Me: fine go ahead Bestie giggles and slaps my butt and then runs away

Oooh please let mommy land this nice juicy client come on baby I’m trying to play the sims irl with my new place and I need more moolah

its Friday night, besties nerd friends are over, lets see if they find some new and exciting way to be terrible guests

the further we get into the future the more correct MGS2 seems to become

does kojima have the gift of prophecy?

how did people talk on the phone with their mom before they invented weed edibles

Mattel is doing a matchbox movie So fast and the furious but not as good

Watching bestie unhinge her jaw to take a massive bite of the Italian sub I bought her for lunch

I’m actually not sure how 15 year old me would handle the fact that we’ve become a face mask a glass of wine and book in bed by 9 girlie

At least we know aliens aren’t real because they didn’t show up in the Epstein files

I’m actually not sure how 15 year old me would handle the fact that we’ve become a face mask a glass of wine and book in bed by 9 girlie

You’re watching the gay hockey show I’m trying to get two straight men into a friendship so intense they almost kiss one time We are not the same

Wow out there posting like a tgirl 18 months on E

some of you unironically talk like this

If a ski jumper had a sufficiently big deuce and the dropped it at exactly the right time in the launch could they go further?

Bestie: can we walk to get a snack? Me: what snack you want? Bestie:….. borger

I wonder if they can just diagnose her of being a wimpy little bitch who can’t handle the cold She was prescribed to go to target and buy a bunch of warm fluffy socks because medically, her feet get really cold

The cis het boys I introduced to one another are planning to write a comic book together now over drinks

One of them is offering to paint the others dnd mini now

One of them is offering to paint the others dnd mini now

You’re watching the gay hockey show I’m trying to get two straight men into a friendship so intense they almost kiss one time We are not the same

I wonder if they can just diagnose her of being a wimpy little bitch who can’t handle the cold She was prescribed to go to target and buy a bunch of warm fluffy socks because medically, her feet get really cold

The cis het boys I introduced to one another are planning to write a comic book together now over drinks

Bestie has a clinical diagnosis of feet get really cold

Based whole home humidifier system, I love you

You’re telling me an egg fried this rice? Yea I buy that they don’t go outside so they have a lot of time to perfect the skills

all you really have to do is walk up behind her when she's doing something mundane around the house, come up behind her, press your hips against hers, wrap your arms around her and gently put your hand on her throat and whisper "who's my good girl" and you can watch her completely short circuit

You think of you got someone to gape the right way you could blow on it to make the bottle sound?

Bestie unprompted: egg rolls are just Chinese hot pockets

Matt groening being in the files is like 9/11 for a certain type of white guy

Uncle baby Billy is by far the best part of gemstones

Bestie snuggling up to me on the couch for warmth and then immediately falling asleep trapping me in this spot

this cis het boys i introduced a few weeks ago are already setting up a bro date to get drinks

You’re telling me an egg fried this rice? Yea I buy that they don’t go outside so they have a lot of time to perfect the skills

On the bright side all your drawers will have custom organizers

What I’ve learned in 2 months of owning a 3d printer If you’re buying it for a specific purpose like I originally did, make sure you don’t live with someone with adhd because they will become drunk with power and use it for everything from now on and you’ll have to schedule your prints with them

They look like characters from an Edgar weight film who own an rc race car store

oh thank god my yearly no work winter finally comes to an end I was starting to chew on the furniture I finally have a gig

Nooooo I had to keep quiet and work at the tech startups bankrolled by Nazi pedo billionaires, I had to work there for years you see I had no other choice, I advocated for change within while I helped them build everyone’s digital chains

Maam do not understand what a shitpost is? A simple yes or no answer will suffice

The token cis boy hitting up the tgirl group chat for advice

Anthony and the amazing technicolor puffer jacket

calling on my trancestors for knowledge and power in a trying time like:

When an egg comes to you for help but they haven’t read theory

I think we should kill anyone who ever worked in tech, just to be safe

me when im seriously sick: let me lay here and die for 3 days ill let you know if I need anything bestie when she is slightly unwell: if you leave me alone for a second I'll die, that would be like taking chemo away from a cancer patient