Walk into the gaming room to see bestie railing her weed vape and playing magic the gathering online on one monitor and watching a video about magic the gathering speed runs on the second

Walk into the gaming room to see bestie railing her weed vape and playing magic the gathering online on one monitor and watching a video about magic the gathering speed runs on the second

"We use custom Factorio scenarios in our training environment." Boom. Done.

Shoving orbees up my urethra and letting them soak up the pee so I can push them out and pretend I have an ovipositer

I think the only answer to the autism question is we just fast track them to careers in the rail industry If you want fast efficient on time rail networks it’s really killing two birds with one stone

I like how Danny Boyle was like “sike it’s an emotional movie about dealing with your moms cancer” and then like 15 seconds later is like “sike got you again here’s some kung fu chavs”

Theyfabs owe dolls reparations send skeet

Disney adults canceling subscriptions, vacations, etc really are making the Harry Potter adults that threw a fit over a $60 video game look like huge bitches

Getting out of the shower and walking naked into the kitchen Bestie mid mouthful of granola:

Bestie signing up for the donut shop newsletter

It has been interesting watching the trans pet play identity shift from cat girl dominant to puppy girl dominant over the last however many years

Bestie: wake me up at 6am to watch the race Me at 6am: ok my beautiful angel baby do you wanna wake up and watch the race? Bestie whining softly: noooooo

I played with her for an hour or so she didn’t really good and didn’t get toxic on mic at all

Bestie is getting addicted to marvel rivals

It’s so pathetic how they won, they got everything they ever wanted and they still need to make themselves in victims because their lives are so devoid of meaning

Bestie just came home and I challenged her to a duel

I wonder if cults ever start out with good intentions like just a group of like minded people who want to fuck in owl masks in the woods under a full moon and then someone just got a bit carried away with it

High as fuck trying to order a falafel by pointing at stuff

also me staring at the organized march walking down the street with a police escort

If you’re in your 30s your the same age as Homer and Marge and the parents in the rugrats George costanza was 29 in the first season of Seinfeld

Staring at the the middle aged white NPR listeners jogging thru my neighborhood: cmon resist already

Well it’s more apparent than ever now, queer people and minorities just need to survive long enough for Disney adults and mom core liberals to be personally affected enough to get off their asses and do something

finally, he's a household name

Why am I sleepy hungry and chilled out all the sudden? Oh right the weed edible

This is the most famous Kimmel has ever been

Do you know what it fucking takes to get a Disney adult to stop buying Disney shit? *taps earpiece* Wait it was the man show guy?

what's really funny is by this time next year no one on his side is gonna remember him at all because they have outrage goldfish brains and some new sacred calf mouthpiece will up on the alter preaching the exact same brand of hate with slightly different wording

And baby I’m Jim Henson

Growing up and getting old in Chicago is watching all your favorite bands slowly move from the Lollapalooza Lineup to the Riot Feat lineup

It’s so pathetic how they won, they got everything they ever wanted and they still need to make themselves in victims because their lives are so devoid of meaning

If you want to radicalize people just get them to watch one piece

STRAW HAT FLAG

Fisting is just Muppet Sex

When you’re doing yoga and you feel the knot you’ve been working out for weeks finally collapse and give way and then you have like so much more mobility in your shoulder it’s insane Like painful and orgasmic

Here’s my pitch, you make me your eternal goddess and supreme ruler for all time and in return for letting me shape humanity you get 5 hour work days 3 days a week Free healthcare and cosmetic surgery Everyone gets a home Universal basic income set to a comfortable upper middle class lifestyle

Luring bestie out of bed with the promise I’d make her eggs and bacon

Aphex Twin Peaks

for when you want to smoke guitar and play drugs

When the riff is heavy and slow

doom metal spelled backwards is mood metal

They call it doom metal but it’s really just spooky heavy riffs to smoke weed and brood to

Fuck them gleep glorps

Here’s my pitch, you make me your eternal goddess and supreme ruler for all time and in return for letting me shape humanity you get 5 hour work days 3 days a week Free healthcare and cosmetic surgery Everyone gets a home Universal basic income set to a comfortable upper middle class lifestyle

What’s funny is humanity absolutely would accept some sort of god king ruler if they just made sure everyone lived a comfortable lifestyle with lots of days off and lots of gadgets and ways to amuse themselves

The only ethical humane way to raise your submissives

Black pilled capitalism app idea An app where you can gamble on the social and political identities of the next shooter/assassin

Nazi furry shooter when?

Is it actually a queer social event or is it a polycule swap?

Steven Universe fans about to get even more annoying

I can't stress to you how much this is honoring the straw hat flag, this is exactly what one piece is about, luffy would be so proud