a bit late, but why did a rapist tell me I should eat apples

Chuck Schumer flinging a bottle of Heineken Zero against the all because Bad Bunny didn't share a drink with an ICE agent during the halftime show

No Kings includes Draft Kings

WOKE 2 HAS EMERGED

uh, we can't play the second half with literal power lines in the middle of the field

Bad Bunny threatening to cancel the show unless he can do a bit where he gives a child a Grammy

are the halftime dancers abnormally hot or is it just me

oh, this halftime show is dtf

Has anyone considered an ad where you just sell a thing

Oh god, this Dunkin Donuts ad may kill the brand

Hope every ICE agent's Super Bowl feed goes out tonight

Guy Fieri has made me realize I want a nail gun

Watching the TPUSA halftime show on QuickTime

I like this ad where everyone thinks the dad's a fucking idiot because he isn't familiar with the entire WeatherTech line of products

I have never wanted anything more than number 90 on the Seahawks to score a big man touchdown

a polycule but only for this burger

why can't any AI ad find a useful application for AI?

Can you still post entire movies on Twitter?

Could someone just try to sell me a good or service during the Super Bowl

That was almost an all-timer play right there! But alas, it was not that at all

Hall got ping-ponged into Maye, you love to see it

Today I learned what Charlie Puth looks like

That Claude ad was the worst thing I've ever seen until the next AI ad

Oh god, I have to listen to Cris Collinsworth for four hours?

In case you needed to know this (you do)

Hahaha OK that's pretty good.

explaining to my kids why this Super Bowl parlay can't miss

if your ideological enemies are jake paul and donald trump, you are objectively on the right side of history

to the extent you believe in capitalism, you can't orient a market around people who don't actually want to consume things - they only want others to consume things on their terms

you may have a James Beard award, but my restaurant can serve 10 hot dogs for $1, as long as you don't ask questions

Five years ago I caught my dumbest ban

It's amazing that the one recurring plotline of the 2000s was "male lead is in love with his female best friend and eventually has to ruin her relationship to make her realize he's the right one"

If you break the Shrek, there's a smaller Shrek inside

"You mean we spent millions on a Super Bowl ad when we could have captured dozens of eyeballs during a Wilford Brimley concert???" "It's Brantley Gilbert, sir"

A billionaire lured someone to a foreign country and then abandoned them, in a move that has no parallels with anything else in the news today

Let us enter an extremely stupid era of Cavs basketball

Every election is stolen if you refuse to accept the result hard enough

So, okay, let's discuss why you wrote this

Protip: don't ever get food from a place that only identifies its sauces by color

The entire point of a charge of hypocrisy is that you actually care about consistency

Jeff Bezos currently interviewing new WaPo CEO candidates, including Andrew Tate, Suzy Weiss, and a van full of ICE officers

The good news is that ChatGPT has already generated the next month of editorial board pieces

Tried doing a simple faucet repair, will be buying a new faucet tomorrow

Did McAfee never play in San Francisco?

anyone who kidnaps JD Vance is returning him within the hour

this man peed in a font

this man shows up to family Christmas with a card full of random 20s for all the kids and his own bottle of scotch

The Winter Olympics are a lot more about almost dying than the summer ones, tbh

AI, the people's resource