i want to be unemployed with the benefits of being employed (money)

Drilling down in this thread reproduces the sounds of my brain booting up for the day.

Better, stronger, faster, harder (these are just some personal facts)

90s media promised a future of grappling hooks that we have yet to see

I see a lot of you are still up saying dumb shit, let me in on that action

Passed a dude jogging shirtless in booty shorts and a cowboy hat, which he tipped at me.

dreams are just free fanfiction i star in

Aaaand back to air conditioning

my lawyer has advised me to chill out

what. the. fuck.

Angry Birds physics but with sandwiches

I don't know about you, but I'm already afraid to post about [redacted], [redacted], or [redacted].

is it take a nap, it’s take a nap isn’t it

I’m not funny, you’re just depressed ❤️

Disrupting the SaaS product meeting by interjecting "if this were a video game..."

The train wreck you can't look away from but you're also on the train.

I wonder what brave new world my mute list is shuttling me into.

Dwayne "The Rock" Patrick Swayze

The Thing 2: Just One More Thing starring Columbo

I need to start charging more for my input and output tokens.

Too sad to look at porn, that's sleazonal depression.

if you can have your soup in a bowl made of bread why can’t I have my coffee in a cup made of cinnamon coffee crumble cake

In previous dark ages, peasants would mutter political and social commentary while shoveling manure and mending fences on their lord's estate, hence shitposts.

RIP Wisconsin, you were once energized and moist

AI is already costing us a lost generation of potential shitposters.

deeply unserious, my people

as your elder, im here to let you know that things do not get better!

my online bf and I saw you from across the terminal and we really dig your vibe coding

i post only for my friends in the morning because anybody who sleeps through them are the enemy

I stirred two drink powders together in room air and they gained 2 grams of mass while I was watching. That's hydrophilia, baby!

A fish tube but it yeets me into Canada.

Ambush predators near me

I've literally had to start keeping notes on how stupid shit is (beyond those posted here).

I'll concede that neither of us is playing, but only I know what the game is. My boss:

I'm not sure what's worse: the owner of my company saying "no one is irreplaceable" to the CEO, the CEO relaying it to me, or me being the "no one" in question.

I must have this adorable right-hand drive Honda Acty microvan deathbox immediately.

I understand wanting your comfort media while on the gym toilet, but have you heard of headphones?

Yeti office hamster bottle when

I feel like there was something I was supposed to remember remember

Taking a victory lap but in the sloppy Labrador retriever at the water bowl sense.

sorry I've added a "Controversy" section to your wikipedia article while you were asleep

All my life I’ve wanted to writhe around inside a bucket while people watch

I recommend using the SkyMap app indoors if you want to stick your hand in a running ceiling fan three times in a row.

You know you can just turn off replies from people you don‘t follow? It’s… pretty good

The rude label must be stopped.

I really wish someone would send me to my room.

A victory for aloof wives everywhere

that’s my mayor (i live in texas)

Girl bossed too close to girl dinner and oops I'm drunk

Those Etsy witches sacrificed Dick Cheney today and it fucking worked