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them: you’d better not be christopher meloni holding hands with a tiny version of himself at a photo shoot when i get there me:

the real never ending story is just laundry

he doesn’t have what it takes to be with a girl like me (i use your bones to make my bread)

This is a vetted fundraiser for the family of Renee Good, the woman who was killed by ICE in Minneapolis. www.gofundme.com/f/support-fo...

A potential cancan is a couldcould.

kinda crazy that 2026 has been going on for years already but it’s only day 7

*doing my absolute worst* sorry i'm doing my best

Not to sound like a political extremist but I want bad things to happen to bad people.

abolishing the domestic terror group ICE is the moderate position at this point

look at the moon and it's just a picture of my ass

reclench

it kinda feels like someone should do something

idk about you but im ready to burn this place to the mf ground

Abolishing ICE isn't good enough. Everyone who has ever worked for ICE should spend the rest of their lives on an iceberg, removed from society forever. We'll bring them food. It'll be like a slowly melting 19th century Australia. Suddenly they'll care about global warming I bet.

the real never ending story is just laundry

cats are jesus christ

shrinking down extra tiny so my cats can carry me from place to place

he doesn't have what it takes to be with a girl like me (i have ibs)

give me fuel, give me fire, give me that which i desire (pasta)

me, queuing up music for the car ride

oh, life is but a dream you say? feels more like a nightmare if you ask me

i swear i’m going to be productive today, just give me five more minutes of scrolling

sometimes you guys talk about stuff that i’m like 99% sure is made up. i’ve never heard of it in my life, why are you gaslighting me

if you really loved me, you’d buy me pasta

all this money in the world and you can’t even send me $10,000

me: my house is pretty old, so when the toilet sounds like it’s struggling, i tell it to choke it down and that seems to do the trick cashier: ma’am, you are really holding up the line

nobody stands in between me and my man

this is who raised me

why are you all looking at me

me, completely unprompted

you’re either party rocking with me or party rocking against me

i’m done learning things, no more knowledge for me

there’s a couple of jet skis on trailer down the street from my house and it just feels like bait

maybe things would be better if we still called them breeches

i thought that that was quite strange 🎶

weed is amazing because i woke up with a headache and now im dancing around to stevie wonder

i’m like if a girl was a land mine

sorry, i can’t hang out tonight. i have to plot world domination with my cats

i wish i was a gargoyle

yeah

it’s ploppin time

i love new avatar movie

every day i understand db cooper a little bit more

maybe things would be better if we still called them breeches

if you do not greet my cats when you come over you might as well just turn around and walk right back out the door

when someone likes your selfie it means you are the most beautiful person in the world

i’ve got my eye on you