recession indicator

they’re doing foot rubs at five guys now

sick tower bro is that ivory?

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air bud should go to space. this has already been proven possible by tangible science

every day i dream of hot dog

the jerry chen center for kids who can’t read good (and who wanna learn to do other stuff good too)

THE JERRY CHEN AND THE JOHN F KENNEDY MEMORIAL CENTER FOR THE PERFORMING ARTS

57 minutes after you ate a 100mg edible

anybody who is standing in front of the kennedy center right now: in honor of the world cup you guys should be leading a deep and long “oooooooooooooooooOooOoooOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” right before they pop that first T off the wall

i’m smoking legal weed with an ice cold modelo and watching the c-span livestream as they are about to remove trump’s illegitimate name from the kennedy center don’t ever tell me this country doesn’t belong to the people

“load bearing wall” so a glory hole?

people think living in austin is all about 6th street and bbq. this is false. living in austin is all about watching a drag show in the gravel seating area of an outdoor bar in 101 degree weather with the hardest working queens you’ve ever seen

thinking about getting hit by a city bus for an insurance payout has anyone tried this

tight tanium

[talking to my cat that i love very much] nice fish breath you stinky idiot

when you think about it panda express is a dumb ass name. you ever seen one of them in motion lmao

the venn diagram of people who wished they had a sony aibo robot dog and people who know a lot about 9/11 is essentially a flat circle

you know how sometimes you post something and you know it sucks but deep inside you’re like no, for me this rules actually

[guy who brought a date home and lit a candle named ‘lavender bombay sunset’] oh wow, does it smell like lavender bombay sunset in here?

i don’t care how you feel about fall out boy ‘i’ll stop wearing black when they make a darker color’ was a bar

seems bad

not feeling very built ford tough right now :/

stop telling me to ‘tap in’ this is a phone i can’t go inside of it are you stupid

sometimes i get the feeling you guys say you’re doing something but you’re actually joking about it :/

computah search latest developments in garlic

they’re cooking baby yoda tomorrow

a 6 rack of chicago style glicks would fix me

going to a wedding is a pleasant reminder humans can still just get together and celebrate people we love being in love

hitting the weed pen is a protected action under the geneva conventions

clifford the big red dog has an extinction level event hog

we should be able to delete one brand social media account from the Internet each day

local car dealership commercials were once the fabric of this threadbare nation

they should sell rotisserie chicken on airplanes

rotisserie chicken is a human right

can’t believe what barry white has done to cbs

i have studied the politics of horses for many years

a government where the horses make the decisions

new guy in your group who might be a bird: nice gutters dude, you mind if i perch real quick

when you deplete the boss health bar and a bigger, brighter health bar appears

filled up my water from the fridge but some spilled on the floor and my socks got wet

tomorrow is cancelled they just announced it

you’d think after all these fireworks factory explosions they’d stop building more fireworks factories

happy pride month say it back

hydroxyzine my beloved

they should invent a sunday night that doesn’t make you sad

if every person could theoretically eat 1lb of dirt a day, how long would it take to eat the entire country if everyone participated?

it’s 2026 why don’t we have a breakfast soup yet

⚠️ SOUP CHECKPOINT: what are you slurping?

we can learn a lot from the humble snail