we should know less about each other

imagine being the colossal bitch that tim pool is but every day of your real life and you have to talk to real people outside in the world with your bald spot hoodie on

what if tim pool hit a concrete wall really hard and turned to red mist

so who is going to prosecute all of the maga chuds who have started sending unsolicited emails in violation of campaign finance laws

wrapping my pill in a chicken n cheez flavored pill pocket

why is this mf disabling the security cameras like oceans 11

your date: i don’t like small talk you: oh (yelling) IS THIS BETTER

i love when your brain serves you useless information from the past when you’re just sitting doing nothing like the fact that i bought my first fake id from a guy who went by ‘bobby abu dhabi’ in 2011

[me, not knowing how to make small talk with you about your kid] what kind is it

are there other kinds of stroganoff

mid life? cry, sis!

to know the thang be farting is to understand the thang be farting

hello from pipe

my family is suffering due to the devastating tariffs on sweet beautiful princesses

i harvested a fresh batch of artisanal sniffs for you today

[your victorian child who just puked all over the carriage] i’ve done a deed most foul

why did they make this gif. who is this for

how could you ever get “lost in the sauce”?like just start slurping

see now you done fucked up

how often would you like to get updates about beef stroganoff? ☑️ daily ☑️ weekly ☑️ once a month ☑️ if something big happens

has science figured out the psychology behind being sad on your birthday yet

the internet is a fucked place to be and i’m gonna go log off and eat pasta for my birthday. be decent to each other and have a nice night.

god gives his wettest farts to his most freshly showered soldiers

watching pokemon as a kid: i love them all. they're all so cute. im glad they can be friends with Ash playing Pokemon as an adult: i hope you die cat. i am going to kill you. after this battle im going into the cave and killing 100 moles. i hate them all too. im going to burn their cave down

every word gets worse

they’re gonna bring back 24 with kiefer sutherland aren’t they

i'm tired of wading through noise about what's happening across the middle east so i've been building this. no-bullshit dashboard that pulls data from 18 international sources + other apis. maybe it will be useful for you disclaimer: this uses a locally-hosted LLM to summarize articles

my haters have begun wagering my demise on kalshi the everything betting app

a pedialyte and white monster cocktail is known to have medicinal healing properties

i’m into fine arts you’re into doodoo and farts

recession indicators flashing red, a dumb republican president dragging us into a manufactured war in the middle east, britney spears dui, justin timberlake lawsuit about his dui boy 2006 sure is fun

do you think the iron man suit was equipped to suck on it

we’re receiving reports of a guy named “aaron sorkin”

they should make a yellowstone for liberals

none of this would have happened if kevin mcallister would have punched trump in the balls so hard that he died in home alone 2: lost in new york

this post brought to you by: weed

you ever have a craving for just an absolute dog shit fast food burger monstrosity like the quad stack triple xxl bacon or some shit and you’re not even hungry you just want to conquer it so you know that you can

remember when we used to experience joy

turning the shower on real hot and spinning myself around like a rotisserie chicken

watching ai generated false footage of the war in iran on cnn presented by paramount+ hbo max hulu premium on your amazon fire tv while i eat your boy kibble slop bowl

woah man! you must have bumped your head pretty hard! you ok? did you hear about that new movie “scary movie”? can’t wait for the new pokemon game! crazy what’s happening in iran… what do you mean “2026”? it’s 2003

based on the most recent photo of him it seems like it may be happening sooner than we think

ketamine and forgetting everything that happened after 2015

hey siri play four five seconds acoustic ft paul mccartney but remove the kanye parts

hey i logged off for two days did anything irreversible and life changing happen

smoking weird and watching miscellaneous items & processes volume 2

why? why shouldn’t i be allowed to have a sleeve of thin mints in my dresser drawer?