on sunday night they should just kick the plug out of the wall for the internet and we should have to reckon with our own truths

stephen miller is a white nationalist pervert and i’m not sure why we aren’t saying this louder

let’s start calling sweatpants, pajama pants, and any other non-constricting soft pants “boneless pants”

i don’t love football but i do hate the cowboys

dave portnoy smokes synthetic weed

the coolest website on al gore’s internet is blue sky dot application

smoking weed and playing pokemon is self care actually

they’re doing tech deck kickflips off the coffin at your funeral

despite all my rage i am still just a lvl 6 mage

filing for political asylum at the roku city embassy

bet this shit never happens in roku city

i think people would be a little more gentle to one another if they all watched the music video for first day of my life by bright eyes

saying i love you to the dominos delivery driver

everything in the world is bad. except him

sleeper agent who is activated by the phrase “hurricane katrina? more like hurricane tortilla”

none of this would have happened if ja rule was here

COOL MAN

what if there was a cat named robert

they need to get ja rule on here

the internet is one of the places people just be saying shit

(guy who is clearly losing) i’m winning actually. i’m winning

now you may be wondering, am i feeling sad

if you are feeling sad listen to this

the page for today in the history books is gonna go crazy

ladies and gentlemen, we got him

slop of the day: unflavored greek yogurt

my haters have laid siege to the city gates

he’s always showing off how long he is

(all of the homies, laughing at you) his ass is not pure of heart!!!

hot girl summer is giving way to horse girl fall

what celebrity do you think is most likely to put marbles in their mouth? i’ll go first pauly shore

can you watch my amulet of the cursed kings while i smoke

they should invent marbles that don’t feel awesome in your mouth

sucking down hummus through a boba tea straw like a protein shake

slop of the day: hummus

shout out to shower beers it’s cool how you can chug them and just let it dribble down your chin and it’s cool because you’re in the shower

guess it makes sense they’d use a log scale here

we go live to the white house for a special address

five (horny) guys

rotating you in the olive garden in my mind

do you think anyone ever saw all the dicks michaelangelo chiseled and was like “hey man so you’re pretty good at that”

who is the consummate artist who played the steel guitar licks at the beginning of “as long as you love me” by the backstreet boys have we identified this individual

we’re trying a new phrase “take a piss vacation”

the cbs comedy central roast of the nyt editorial board sponsored by palantir

what if white people watched the west wing

spotify playlist “top tracks from people who follow your ex husband”

[guy who will not change the game, rubbing his hands together] i’m about to change the game

what if we just posted and said how we felt

after two days of intense research i have concluded that people are in fact still being funny on here

happy cartel's chroma 2025 release day for all who celebrate 😮‍💨