if you reply with some racist shit and this shows up immediately underneath your username, you go into the wood pulper, you do not pass go, you do not collect $200

so, you thought the two people hugging emoji was an old-timey two canister film camera emoji

buying prepared shellfish from a stranger on facebook marketplace is one of the craziest things i have ever heard

“the first two seasons are pretty hit or miss but after season three is really where it picks up” okay what you are describing is Stockholm Syndrome

in all seriousness i am done smoking weed for good i am now smoking weed for evil

doing the stinky hand dance at your court hearing

nobody talks about french onion soup toots

when people say bsky has the juice, the “juice” they are referring to is various kinds of soup

THE SOUP IS GOOD

i mean what more could you ask for

smiling thru it all can’t believe this is my life

folks; we made it. shifting to soup mode

it smell crazy in here (complimentary)

things are happening

inshallah you will caramelize and become french onion soup

have it your way

this is tuna bug btw she is 14 years young

pet owners get way too comfortable with nicknames over time like how did we get from luna > tuna bug where did we go wrong

stop what you are doing and look at this pug dressed as baby yoda at the brewery

they can’t stop me from taking half of a sick day, i cannot be stopped

okay i made this live if anyone wants to try it. pending listing approval in the firefox extension store, but you can download the signed version of the extension and setup instructions at factsocial.download firefox only for now, i'll consider a chrome build if there's interest.

alt: your 5 year old nephew showing you the cool new bug he found

walking into my bosses office tomorrow morning holding a bird like a bomb

i created this extension with the primary purpose of finally exposing @jcsalterego.bsky.social once and for all

it sucks that bsky doesn't have community notes or any fact checking, so i'm building a firefox extension that does real-time fact checking, in 30 seconds or less, using web search and a 6gb local llm.

a bugs wife

the lucky charms leprechaun should have been harvested for meat long ago

now more than ever, this country needs beautiful sweeties with a heart of gold

the people are clamoring outside of the beautiful sweetie factory, due to the devastating impacts of war on the beautiful sweetie supply chain

after deep consultation with my contemporaries online, i’ve come to the conclusion that herbie was fully loaded with piss

asking the bartender if buccal fat removal is right for me

you ever just eat ice cream

a milk that’s bioengineered to be the loudest possible sound through a straw loudmilk

they should make a warmer milk

need a mental health month

i’m gonna be real your honor this isn’t hitting for me

why was erica kirk dressed like she was stealing hamburgers from ronald mcdonald

eating raspberry chocolate truffle ice cream and seeing god

[doctor voice] i’m sorry, there’s nothing more we could do. your son will be cool as fuck for the rest of his life

pov: you are the empty babybel cheese bag in my fridge watching as i discover there’s no more babybel cheeses

i pulled the babybel bag out of the fridge drawer but the bag was empty

hating solar power is so dumb like what do you mean you hate the sun

the cornell bird app rules THIS IS MY BIRD

watching house of villains is like getting an at-home lobotomy

i don’t know who reuben is but he did a pretty fucking good job on that sandwich

yes i am a boiled egg hater. yes we exist

it would be nice to be covered in a slime or a goo of some kind

can someone confirm this is real i need to know this is real

i cannot remember another snack i’ve thrown away after eating literally one (1) but these fuckin SUCK

somewhere in midland, tx tonight there’s an oilfield worker that drives a $120k lifted truck on a 120 month loan, yelling at a buffalo wild wings bartender who makes less than minimum wage about how we need to build a ballroom and i think that’s beautiful