neurotypical fuckers are always like "autistic people have trouble following directions" and then hand me a form that asks if I have a history of bike helmet

I'm like Muad'Dib, I got the ill communication, Muad'Dib I got the stillsuit for hydration, Muad'Dib I got the worm for transportation

Are YOU🫵 a bad enough dude to survive Toyotathon???

The Deadly Assassin

Bad decisions used to be our inalienable right as Americans, but now they've gotten so political.

im talking a lot of shit for someone making risotto

Autistic anxiety... which is the direct result of autistic needs not being met (and can't be explained by any other type of anxiety) should not be the barely researched topic it currently is...

When you're making biscuits but you're still kind of mad about something

i realize this is a WILD way to ask this but does anyone know anyone who can help import a shipment being sent by air freight to kathmandu? (ASAP) ground port is closed. air freight won't ship w/o a VAT (import tax) registered business in nepal it's thousands of water filter kits for a hospital

Marketing win!

Everyone on here is 38 with a beard and glasses.

Unclench your jaw. Relax your brow. Go get a drink of water. See if you've taken your meds Eat something. Doesn't matter what you look like right now, i think you look amazing. Because you do. You're a wonderful person. And have this. 🫂🖤 you did great today. You made it through

I hope this email finds you glad that it’s not an email , but instead a cat photo

*swat team helicopter circling above me as their megaphone crackles* STOP POSTING NOW

Thread. In a smaller way, I did this when I came to Bluesky and decided not to be the guy who got into arguments here, like I had been on the former Twitter. That choice has done rather a bit to make Bluesky generally a better place for me to be, and, I hope, a better hang for others here too.

not just a jerkmate, a jerkfriend

"Dear Slim. I wrote you, but you still ain't calling."

My work laptop doesn't feel like starting up properly today. Me, too, Windows, me, too.

For years I thought it would be weird to live in Central time. And it is.

A new pillow would be an actual reason to go back to IKEA. As opposed to a gross of glizzies.

I need a nice throw pillow insert. And to get rid of some pillows from the 80s and 90s.

"subtext is an anagram for butt sex" -ancient fanfic writer's motto/my credo

in the UK they call it shite posting

Parents, please check your kids’ candy this Halloween. I’ve just found an ancient metal whistle with the inscription “QUIS EST ISTE QUI VENIT" inside a Snickers bar. I blew it and heard a note of infinite distance, and now I’m haunted by a figure in pale, fluttering draperies. Be safe.

Become ungovernable.

It’s baddies be sick week. If you’re sick rn you’re a baddie. I don’t make the rules.

I'm very particular about women. That doesn't mean there aren't a lot of women that don't meet my particulars.

The government shutdown is especially tough on men, who are losing $1.00 for every 75¢ a woman loses.

suprised by the fact that lou bega is german and nobody has ever said "a LIDL bit of Monica in my life" online yet

transitioning just so people finally stop getting confused that talia jane & i are two different people

Dammit, Jerry!

Please listen closely as our menu options have changed. Failure is not an option. Anymore. Why did so many of you choose it

I'm much happier than I seem online. Scary, huh?

I've got a busy day today, starting with the dentist. Which is fine, but always annoying.

The thing that makes Star Trek utopian isn’t the end of scarcity or the harmony between all peoples it’s also that the guy on the ship who gets laid the most plays the trombone at work and periodically does community theater

Take that, Brits! You couldn't touch it like this, even by burning it!

Honestly, it's about time we just remember IP addresses like we used to remember phone numbers.

Amazon had DNS issues over the weekend. I’m not saying the AWS failure is DNS but *altogether now* it’s always DNS

I also demand that you have a good birthday, @te-kanawa.bsky.social! 🎉

AWS is down, post hog

Aural sex is great until you pop their eardrum.

I'm upset I slept through an AWS outage

Walk of shame after you sleep with a clown.

When suffering constipation, take solace in the fact that eventually this two shall pass.

SINGING I LOVE ROCK AND ROLL PUT ANOTHER DIME IN THE JUKEBOX BABY I LOVE ROCK AND ROLL ˡᵒʳᵉᵐ ⁱᵖˢᵘᵐ ᵈᵒˡᵒʳ AND DANCE WITH ME

Good lord police you're looking for someone who robbed an art museum the guy is RIGHT THERE

Man, I just saw an ad use "woah" and, like, what happened to fucking standards in advertising?

IS ANYBODY HERE FESTING NEXT WEEK?! Hi, I AM DOING BACK TO BACK SETS AT @thefestfl.bsky.social The JER band is playing heartwood at 6:50 a week from today! It’s the DEATH OF THE HEART RELEASE SET! It’s gonna be a special one! And we just announced an additional skatune network set!

Finally built the first carcass for the wardrobes. We're halfway there!