Look, I don't wanna say he's a player, but he's been inside more mouths than a Denny's spoon.

We don’t talk enough about how weird—just weird!—it is that so many GOP and admin officials spend so much time just standing around the Oval watching Trump do stuff. All of these people have jobs! Sometimes important ones! But just being the awkward backdrop of the Mad King’s rantings matters more.

I taught my parrot to say, “Help, I’ve been turned into a parrot.” The authorities are involved. No regrets.

has anyone made a joke about how trump's new idea "puts the ass in passport" no? ok, well there you go then

misophonia, n.: an intense aversion to hearing other people eat Japanese soup

I guess he did run it exactly like one of his companies

If Ross Gellar's sister had misophonia, a harmonica could harm Monica.

time traveler: I can't believe I made it back to just before the Rampaging Sex Robots With Super Covid era me: ... sorry, the what

me: he said we don’t need the oil that goes thru the strait of hormuz he said we have all the oil we need here so why are gas prices so fucking high then, huh ? and don’t say what you always say my gynecologist: what

I would be angrier at someone that took a baseball bat to my car than someone who accidentally bumped it while parking, so yeah.

Trump’s DOJ is suing NJ to let ICE agents wear masks & skip identifying themselves during arrests. After masked feds killed two U.S. citizens in Minneapolis? We learn secret policing is the priority. America 2026. 🙄 mcsp.short.gy/lVWX

In this era of reboots, they should make the $42,516,695.28 Man

Max and Israel Makoka Were Waiting for a Hancock High School Bus. ICE Took the Brothers Instead. www.mississippifreepress.org/max-and-isra... Another horrible act by ICE...

Advertise your account with a Simpsons image

TEACHER: are you sure you know what comes after abc? ME: yes def

This regime is trafficking children, I guaranfuckintee it..

CBS heavily edited tRump’s 60 Minutes interview—40 min down to 13—to hide chaos. The raw footage shows him rambling, lying about “zero illegals,” exaggerating his CBS lawsuit ($38M? Try $16M), & dodging basic questions. This is the guy "running" our country. Unhinged and unfit. mcsp.short.gy/LzC2

Oh no they’re going to take all their money and not pay taxes on it somewhere else!

We are never going to know if any of these boats actually had drugs on them, are we?

From the president who brought you, on Aug 9, 2016 at the rally in Wilmington, N.C.: "If she (Hilary) gets to pick her judges, nothing you can do folks, ... 𝒂𝒍𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑺𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒅 𝑨𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒑𝒆𝒐𝒑𝒍𝒆, 𝒎𝒂𝒚𝒃𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒊𝒔, 𝑰 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘." www.nbcnews.com/politics/jus...

Is the president going to stop going to MMA fights since they can’t be held in the ballroom? Is he unsafe at the fights? Is he going to demand an arena be built at the WH now? Or…. Is this just about using this bad thing to justify another stupid thing?

"just a little stroke here... and another stroke there, and now there's a happy little accident" -the JOI of painting

For those looking for a fantasy franchise that doesn't fund hate, Sir Terry Pratchett was the best. If you're not yet familiar with Discworld, remedy that situation today.

Who called it “blood alcohol content” and not “the DUI decimal system”?

Why so much hate for a simple tourist visiting a hotel?

JD Vance Still Waiting For Secret Service To Retrieve Him From Secure Hiding Area

introducing brotassium™, the potassium for men

scream of wheat

Hey. If you have a few bucks, please consider helping Marla out.

I'm a bit like Nanny Ogg, I always have to stop and stare at bananana to make sure I've got it right "Nanny Ogg knew how to start spelling 'banana', but didn't know how you stopped"

When I was a kid I lived just a hop, skip and a jump away from my elementary school. The neighbors referred to me as "that odd little boy who's always hopping, skipping and jumping."

am i too late

I can't get over how in every one of these videos, it's only the men being protected. All of the women are left to fend for themselves, all of the "important" people are male. It's all I see, and it's intentional.

Trump keeps bringing up Obama's middle name because he thinks it 'proves' he's Muslim. (not that it would matter if he were) By that logic, Trump hires prostit... wait I think I know where he got his logic.

I always get mixed up, is ceasefire the one where you do your don’t kill 14 people

The DC gossip ghouls who interview Republicans after school shootings want everyone to be somber and respect their trauma.

Federal Public (and televised)Executions are being planned by Trump and his administration.

Our President really doesn't like black people. If it were any more apparent, he'd just be saying so.

A Quiet Place, the Musical

The French Open is just regular tennis, but with tongue

went foraging for mushrooms and some guy jumped out from behind a tree to fight me for them. yep, Morel Kombat time.

Rheastat: When you are regulating the number of rheas encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn...

Rep Corey Mills says he will not resign from congress over sexual misconduct allegations. Come on, people, he’s a Florida Republican - if it weren’t for sexual misconduct, he’d have no conduct at all. #JokesFromLastNightsShow

Republicans Had an Earth Day Plan to Limit Species Protections. It Flopped. www.nytimes.com/2026/04/22/c... When you can’t even own the libs

I thought there already was a full blockade? Is this a Double Secret Extra Full Blockade? With Electrolytes?

Most confusing sign ever... Free tampons: no strings attached

Mother Nature is being very clear with you all about climate change. But you’re not fucking listening.

No wonder this asshole bankrupts everything he touches. He doesn't understand basic math.

Wisconsin averages 25 tornadoes per year. We had that many last week. Go ahead and tell me climate change isn't real -preferably while standing in a field in WI

a french child dropped off a whole stack of Le Parisien on my doorstep. I said "I didn't order this delivery". he replied, "it's not delivery, it's des journaux"