Cersei for short

I hate the sound of something being explained to me

Every time someone’s like “put that in the louvre,” my head now goes “and then steal it from the louvre, the security password is louvre”

Bold move approaching and speaking to a woman who is eating pasta out of her hand over the sink

#GVerse 😱👀

Please don’t ask me dumb questions. I am the dumb one here

Certiorari is a pretty baby’s name

what if we made out in the deli section of the grocery store

A vile country isn't a country that can't feed its children, a vile country is a country that *won't* feed its children.

sometimes to read a book of poetry is to be reminded that another person is much funnier and better at expressing their pain than you are

I make a spectacular friend if you like downward spirals

I’m at the point where I’m considering keeping someone in my basement just to kick them around when I feel like it

Today can we arrest the president? Jesus fucking Christ, the messages that are being sent to people by his every day actions. Today the message is no maga left behind. Not no child left behind. No MAGA. Fuck every one of these people. Sincerely

Dems backed Trump into a corner where he’s advocating for starving Americans and hemorrhaging support. If they vote to let him off the hook in exchange for nothing it’s a cataclysmic failure. I know people are in pain but insulating Republicans from political consequences is not the answer.

If you had to talk about any topic for one hour what would it be? For me it would be Karate Kid

What are you listening to?

Snug as a bug or possibly on drugs, it’s hard to say.

I fixed the title

Are we there yet? #art #oilpainting

Ending the filibuster will complete the coup…

when will a frankenstein movie be brave enough to let us see the doctor choosing the dick

I wanna ask people who you think you’re helping with your AI fakes and reposting articles from 2018 with no context? We don’t need that kind of help. You probably need to get your shit together

I love this time of year when bugs are dying

*tweets

10/10 take. No notes.

Jesus Christ is just something I say when I’m pissed off

A cleaning woman showed up at the wrong house with her husband. Someone inside shot through the door, striking 32-year-old María Florinda Ríos Pérez de Velásquez in the head, killing her. The Indianapolis suburb is called Whitestown.

Has anyone ever seen Stephen Miller in the sunlight

“Im in a very bad mood” oh well thanks for talking to me

you have a seat on the council but we do not grant you the rank of shitposter

The dramatic repudiation of Trump this week wrecks a number of absurd narratives the media has pushed lately. In the runup to the election, NYT pieces kept telling us Dems were overly obsessed with attacking Trump. That dumb idea now lies in ruins. 1/ (new piece) newrepublic.com/article/2027...

They are using AI videos of Trump to address people and rule the land....how sick is this? He declared he was going to put boots on the ground in Nigeria, over AI. Where is Trump?

Life can be such a shit ass

“Everyone has a right to their opinion” I disagree

They should put prizes in ibuprofen for all the people who used to love prizes in their cereal

But the real treat of the night... while I was out with kids, wife picked up three (three!) new rescue puppies to foster. Cute as can be.

WHY CAN’T THE VILLAINS BE SMART AND HANDSOME AND CHARMING AT LEAST

That thump from under the floorboards sure has been a lot louder lately.

"I hope your beeper doesn't go off." A year ago today, a racist tried to make a 'joke' about me being killed by Israel. It was the 1st time I've ever walked off of live TV. That night CNN said they'd ban the racist from their air. But in the year since, I myself haven't been invited back on CNN.

When can we eat them

We should all get paid for being our own caregivers

Annie is on Netflix again. I always let people know this important news

My muu muu life is here. Mrs Roper era. Fuck yeah

I have been murdered on the TL. I want Stayin Alive to be played at my funeral because I plan to haunt everyone

@stephenking.bsky.social you fucking stud