We’re off to Italy tomorrow. Three weeks in Florence & Rome. My first time overseas. I’ll see you when I get back!

Make stupidity funny again.

By the sandwichbell in screening shadow Lydia, her bronze and rose, a lady’s grace, gave and withheld: as in cool glaucous eau de Nil Mina to tankards two her pinnacles of gold.

(Asad AbuKhalil, the great AngryArab blogger, once apparently had a thing where he would read any book or see any film that was banned somewhere. He once said something like “well unfortunately I am obliged now to see the Seth Rogen film ‘The Interview’”. This seems fair to me 3/4 )

In the proposed Trump Library, the world’s largest Child Porn collection will fill twenty floors.

Sorry, no one’s a citizen anymore until we evaluate your melanin levels.

Evil people have the right to enjoy themselves at the Magic Kingdom too.

Hey I just bombed you And this is crazy But I need an off-ramp So call me maybe

and had devoured all up if she had not cried out most horribly, as if the wolves had held her by the legs, at which noise company came in and took away the said cow from Pantagruel.

Office Space (1999) Mike Judge was really "in a zone" when he wrote & directed this satire on desk work. A film that slowly found an audience, it is comedy unstained by sentiment. Instead of giving the lead to some star, Judge chose the excellent deadpan-face Ron Livingston. I laughed till it hurt.

Karoline Leavitt will be deployed to the good ship Lollipop.

If you’re fit enough to handle an airport terminal check-in kiosk, and navigate a baggage carousel, you too can deploy to Iran

“I want tough warfighters to join me in getting our asses shot off for Christ.”

"Maybe I’m just someone who lives in the moment, and that’s why I vote for candidates who only think about the now rather than about the past, future, or any people who might not be in my visual range at the moment."

Army revises maximum cannon fodder age to 42. Go die in Iran, old man, we don’t need you here.

Focusing on presidential elections that will happen years from now is a chronic symptom of our disease.

I can always count on the “Style” section for a few laughs. “How the Gen Z pout became armor against millenial cringe.” “Is one-sided monogamy just cheating?” “Skateboard club says the Beatles are still cool.” “Can you fake being rich? For a while, but eventually we’ll find out.”

“You’re gonna love the tremendous design of my mausoleum.”

Oil pimps would rather commit murder-suicide than give up oil.

I think what we need to accept, internalize and ensure everyone understands in the mask off, blatant, rape, pillage and gamble era is that the stock market actually wants the lies and always did. It was always fragile, false and self serving.

Dow Jones rises 300 points after Lucy's announcement that she is absolutely, definitely, for real gonna hold the football this time.

Golden retriever runs 15 feet after owner mimes throwing tennis ball

Dollard and Cowley still urged the lingering singer out with it. —With it, Simon. —It, Simon. —Ladies and gentlemen, I am most deeply obliged by your kind solicitations. —It, Simon. —I have no money but if you will lend me your attention I shall endeavour to sing to you of a heart bowed down.

at some point we're going to need to hold fox news accountable for directing gop policy for the last 25 years

The manosphere doesn’t sound like a healthy place to be in. Sour fumes—essence of cheese or “ass milk”—makes it hard to breathe.

Yes, he is a pedophile. But did you know that there is murder, torture, and human trafficking in the Epstein files? Considering Epstein himself said that Trump is the worst person he has ever met, it seems likely that there is evidence Trump is guilty of the worst in the files

It can hardly be overstated how much of our current sociopolitical and legal mess is down to the fact that certain people have been mad at the Fourteenth Amendment (and what it stands for) for 158 years now. That’s it. 🗃️

If I choose not to download Windows 11, could I have trouble surviving the challenges I might face?

Meet the android that’s got Tim Pool yanking his pud! Her name is Stacie and she loves to darn his wool hat.

Look I know everyone has a rich inner life, but people’s reactions to GenAI chatbots are really challenging this idea.

Franklin Graham summed up his message with “Just keep saying the magic name, and your ass will be safe forever.”

Since politicians are talking about the Midwest again, pay attention to the fact that they never mention Chicago, Detroit, Milwaukee ... The "Midwest," to them, means farms and small towns.

The Heritage Foundation has released a 250-year roadmap to “save America.” The document is a how-to guide for subjugating girls & young women: a detailed plan to push them out of college, funnel them into early marriage and motherhood, and then trap them there. jessica.substack.com/p/theyre-com...

Ezra Klein's brain is soft like buttery havarti cheese

If a Dem politician uses the phrase "middle America," you can tune out everything else they say.

Maybe it's time to read a new book.

Piano again. Sounds better than last time I heard. Tuned probably. Stopped again.

Walz: We will never leave the side of our Somali Minnesotans. Here's our pledge to you, our Somali Minnesotans, your great grandchildren will still be here when that orange clown is in the dustbin of history.

Walking thru the “Ultra Normie” No Kings rally in my extremely rural, white town and there are Patagonia wearing moms carrying signs that say “DEAD PEDOPHILES DONT REOFFEND” and “ICE GETS THE WALL” and I hi fived an old guy with a sign that said MY DADDY FOUGHT NAZIS AND SO WILL I” this is wild

I did this on previous No Kings days, but it's genuinely shocking to look back on Tea Party coverage and see what paltry numbers were treated like a political earthquake.

Well done. #NoKings

Some idiot blasting Lee Greenwood and everybody laughing at him.

“Flip me off if you love pedophiles.”

Shout out to the top 5 kings in the world, Martin Luther, Larry, Don, Stephen and Americans don't have a motherfuckin'.

If you're heading to No Kings today, leave the bear spray, weapons, and zip ties at home - this is NOT a Republican event.

Time to celebrate our love of freedom and our determination to defeat this tyranny.

he got one of his arms loose from the swaddling bands wherewith he was kept fast in the cradle, laid hold on the said cow under the left foreham, and grasping her to him ate up her udder and half of her paunch, with the liver and the kidneys,

“The signature on this dollar bill is illegitimate. Can I exchange it for an older one?”

The correlation between being a Jan 6er and being a pedophile is incredible, it must be like several standard deviations outside what you’d expect just based on chance

These people are so dumb they think a dictator is something different than a king.