"Gary, can you wait until I finish the thing about the Bog Rat before you guess which one is the lie?"

Perfect ("satirical") summary of the AI bubble. The whole thing is gold: www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/ai-...

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine!... And sweetie, it is a perfectly normal reaction to be scared when your friends cannibalize each other. Six doesn’t have to talk to seven anymore if it doesn’t want to.

New title of a @mcsweeneys.net piece just dropped.

The list grows ever longer.

I'm not sure McSweeney's gets enough credit for how many of its articles are also excellent flash fiction.

What did one dad say to the other dad? Not much. Forging a new friendship as an adult male is exceptionally difficult.

Brilliant, if painful @mcsweeneys.net piece on RFK Jr.’s/MAHA’s baseless attacks on the prescribing of antidepressants, on which I wrote for @msnowreports.bsky.social: www.ms.now/opinion/rfk-...

"Pestilence has struck. The very week Endurance was to sail, Young Cecily awoke hot as a kettle. I, her loving father, could not depart frail Cecily in such a state. And Mrs. Shackleton is away at the suffragettes conference for the week, so old Shacky’s flying solo on this one."

"How old is your boy now? Wow. He’s getting big. Promise me something, son. Never forget to tell your son how much you care about the fourteenth highest-grossing film of 1989."

"Fixed it. That gurgling is normal."

Um...I believe this has actually happened. "A trolley is about to run over five people, but your dad gets distracted by a nearby sports bar playing The Shawshank Redemption on one of their outdoor TVs. He just stands there watching the movie. Everyone dies." @mcsweeneys.net

"DAY 13: Reward yourself for waking up today with a milkshake."

Please distribute this to all humans

omg, it’s even better if you read them in Werner herzog’s voice

- Assume your audience has the same deep knowledge of local landmarks and geography as you. - Deny the existence of digital mapping technology. - Ask your audience whether they’re “looking to take Route 24,” as if they know what you’re talking about.

I was there At all the cool kid birthday parties At Dave & Busters I DJ’d at the first ever indoor trampoline party I woke up naked In a Chuck E.Cheese Ticket Blaster Booth In 2013

Bon Iver: Perhaps the most accurate term to apply to your situation is “seriously injured and lost in the woods.”

"Counting Crows: You started coaching your kid’s soccer team to make the other kids’ parents fall in love with you, but it didn’t work."

"Eric Hughes, who, while listening to his wife’s entire twenty-two-minute story about how rude Lauren always is at book club, did not offer a suggestion for how to fix the problem. He just nodded and said, 'Wow, unbelievable,' at all the right moments."

Which Talking Heads’ song was re-recorded for the Irish market? Psych O’Killer.

"Peace 1.0™ is a revolutionary conflict-reduction platform that leverages diplomacy, reduced bombing, and reopened shipping lanes to create value for shareholders, with potential benefits for people living throughout the region."

"You know how they celebrate Father’s Day in Germany? They go on hikes with wagons full of beer. Just a bunch of bros with a keg on a Little Red Flyer. Let’s normalize getting shithoused in the woods with your buddies instead of processing grief sober!"

These hit very hard.

"We use narrative to make sense of our lives, sweetie, to give shape to the entropy of the human experience. I’m a man of a certain age, and I have needs. Specifically, I need stories about finding, against all odds, a great parking spot. Like right in front of the building."

Seersucker pants: Tells you how much you disappoint him while holding a mint julep Swim trunks: Tells you how much you disappoint him while holding a margarita Thrasher sweatpants: Tells you how much you disappoint him while holding a vape pen

A classic. I mean, stop it. I never wanted to move to <Brooklyn>. My comments are always questions. And high-top Chucks absolutely hurt, both feet and back, even when I’m wearing Darn Tough socks. As for word counts and artisanal whiskey, get off my damn lawn 🧐😂

"Now that your depression is back and your new chin has settled, we will begin to correct your more annoying shortcomings with exposure therapy. Exposure therapy can be a helpful tool in making you less of a little bitch."

"If you thought manual labor was hard, get ready for emotional labor. All that logistical stuff is about to hit you like a stack of bricks. Or were you not aware of how much mental jiu jitsu is involved in scheduling travel soccer around cello lessons and ballet class?"

"And to the citizens of Romulus who were thinking we’d help them take back control of their planet: Sorry, I got bored and lost interest. I mean, what do you want from me?"

Duran Duran: “I’m hungry like the wolf.” Dad: Hi, “Hungry Like The Wolf.” I’m Dad. buff.ly/mbwlQPg

Could not stop crying

What did one dad say to the other dad? Not much. Forging a new friendship as an adult male is exceptionally difficult.

- Assume your audience has the same deep knowledge of local landmarks and geography as you. - Deny the existence of digital mapping technology. - Ask your audience whether they’re “looking to take Route 24,” as if they know what you’re talking about.

"Brandon Jackson, who not only found his wallet without blaming his entire family for losing it, but also found it in the pants he was wearing."

Son: Is that Neil Young? Dad: No, that Neil old. ^^^ my favorite, but ALL the jokes are gold

"Dad attempts to parallel park the trolley. He has to choose between using the convenient rearview camera or twisting his neck back to look."

"I tell my kids, you’re allowed to watch the TV all you want… Just don’t turn it on! This way, they will begin to understand the futility of all things."

"I’m sorry, Gary. I didn’t realize that I’d opened the floor for stupid questions. No, the Bog Rat did not make us a soufflé made out of Bog Rat meat. It was a traditional Bog Rat soufflé containing carrots and Stilton cheese."

A must read

Step Thirteen: Extend ceasefire shortly before expiration, citing productive talks. If the enemy points out that there haven’t actually been any productive talks, double down. You must make it clear that you do not bow down to truth.

One month ago today. #LestWeForgetTheHorrors

(Hmm. My audience-response sensors are detecting elevated levels of discomfort, confusion, and anxiety. Recalibrating… Dialing back 'Heat' Pacino, increasing 'Scarface.' Re-initializing.) "Class of 2026. The future is yours. You cock-a-roaches."

"We’ll just be here a minute because all things in life are temporary and hummingbird babies grow up and take off quickly. Gone, bitties, gone. No 'Can I come home for holidays?'—no nothing. Everybody just leaves for good, and then we crawl into a quiet bush and die, OKAY?"

This is accurate

In May 2026, Trump and his administration committed 84 atrocities. #LestWeForgetTheHorror

Duran Duran: “I’m hungry like the wolf.” Dad: Hi, “Hungry Like The Wolf.” I’m Dad. buff.ly/mbwlQPg

McSweeney’s is always great, but this is a lovely (and only gently satirical) portrait of modern masculinity. My second favorite example is the “wow, unbelievable” one, but the best is the dishwasher one, because I would totally be practicing the TED talk. Plus, I did have to wrangle a bat.

"How old is your boy now? Wow. He’s getting big. Promise me something, son. Never forget to tell your son how much you care about the fourteenth highest-grossing film of 1989."

"Pestilence has struck. The very week Endurance was to sail, Young Cecily awoke hot as a kettle. I, her loving father, could not depart frail Cecily in such a state. And Mrs. Shackleton is away at the suffragettes conference for the week, so old Shacky’s flying solo on this one."