Thanks for your service, Mayor-Elect Zamdani.

And these beautiful books behind me? Don’t tell anyone but: it’s the Epstein files.

Is he reconsidering because he’s having a stroke?

Weird seeing Mr. Monopoly without his top hat, mustache, and cane.

We were looking for a good quote to set up the satire here, but nothing clicked. Then Douthat’s op-ed dropped late morning, and well, thank you New York Times yet again. www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/yea...

Looks like it’s the Republicans who should move toward the center.

When one of Trump’s toadies says something ridiculous like this they should just pause the interview and wait for a fact checker to confirm or deny it. The awkward silence as they wait for the answer would be riveting television.

Someone should cut this together with Pastor Mark’s sermon on The Lowdown.

Trying our best to dominate the examination room right now.

If you went to bed before the conclusion of that 18-inning marathon World Series game, Ray Ratto has a message for you:

On the plus side, when showed a picture of a giraffe, he can say that it is a giraffe.

Good to see folks fighting the good fight on here.

People can do what they want with their bodies. Go for it, sure. But old white men (old, as in 70+) who dye their hair and beards? They aren’t fooling anyone. So, yeah, fuck off, 81-year-old Larry Ellison. You look like the villain from 10,000 children’s books.

He’s RIGHT. We never got SICK because we were too BUSY getting ABDUCTED by men dressed up as CLOWNS handing out CANDY from their VANS.

So thrilled to be thrown into the fire of torment and suffering (76ers basketball) again.

For some strange reason, I could go for a Michelob Ultra right now.

I think the internet needs to come together to decide on the right definition of “too on the nose.” Some think it’s a compliment, others not so much. (I am of the latter.)

I love that the view on the live telecast of this iconic home run is from behind home plate. www.tiktok.com/t/ZTMuqLonc/

Middle-aged white guys with pony tails will be the end of us all. www.bostonglobe.com/2025/10/21/m...

We're winding down our use of X (I know, I know, but despite everything, it's been hard to let go), and at this point, any engagement is a big surprise. Like, how did the two people who liked a post even see it to begin with? What makes them special from our other 250K followers who didn't?

Thanks for submitting, but we rarely run pictorials. Plus, I’m not sure even Trump would be ignorant enough to green light this two days after millions held rallies to save our democracy, so the symbolism here comes off a little heavy-handed.

Two years from now, out of bronzer, with cankles the size of cantaloupes and the hordes of inflatable frogs closing in, Trump declares from his Mar-a-Lago bunker, “Things are great. I’m not worried at all. The revolution that overthrew me was very small.”

Song titles with days of the week should only be played on that day of the week.

Bold way to announce he uses a colostomy bag.

Patiently waiting for all your Trump shitting on Americans submissions. My work never ends.

😍 Boston, you are beautiful. #NoKings

Militant woke antifa terrorists suiting up for action here in Boston. #NoKings

If we’re lucky, a few months from now, after most colleges & universities refuse to sign this thing, we’ll see stories like, “Vidal Sassoon Cosmetology College, The Connecticut School of Broadcasting, and ITT Technical Institute have refused to sign Trump’s compact.”

amazing how you can write about culture professionally and still have no idea what’s going on in the world

New Carlos Greaves just dropped. www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/we-...

Am as irrationally optimistic about this as you’d expect.

"This nation’s Young Republicans are more than just veteran political operatives and attorneys: they’re kids. And sometimes, kids say the wrong things. They can’t be held responsible for using slurs 251 times in just under 8 months."

SEPTEMBER 2025: From bombing Venezuelan boats, to scaring families with misinformation about Tylenol, to getting stuck on an escalator at the UN, to summoning the military to tell them to lose weight and shave, it's all here--plus, (unfortunately) much more. #LestWeForgetTheHorrors

There is no greater difference in editorial style and form than the difference between the New Yorker and the New Yorker's aggressive email warnings to renew gift subscriptions.

May God protect these brave naked warriors from the military and the chafing.

Pretty much every girl I dated in high school was some version of Diane Keaton.

Just used a hand plane to shave down the edge of a warped door and will now begin negotiations to be the new host of This Old House.

More like the NoTroll Prize, amirite?

🎸 “Simply Unreliable” 🎸

There is still good in this world.

There are still good things in this world. www.tiktok.com/t/ZTMhnVPMd/

This is solid (nice touch with the big cross necklace), but it still comes off a bit too on the nose, even for this fascist administration. So thanks for the look, but we’re going to pass. Maybe try submitting to McSweeney’s Pyongyang Tendency?

[Braces self for a load of Travis Kelce penis submissions.]

Bari’s CBS off to an unsurprising start.

Trump is trying to turn pop culture, but whatever, good luck with that. I mean, the right is like, “We love Springsteen’s music, but don’t care for his politics.” Has anyone ever heard anyone on left say, “Kid Rock is awesome, but don’t care for his politics”?

I have lived and worked in and around Chicago for 27 years and I have been assaulted less often than Sen Paul has been in his own back yard.

Live from "war ravaged" Portland

Oh great, like we need even more IKEA-themed submissions.