I think the reason autistic people struggle with unwritten social "rules" is that those "rules" are never universally applied. Because they are not actually rules, they're more like standards that most people seem to align with. But not all... never all...

If your autism is basically completely hidden but causes you debilitating anxiety most days... I see you. ❤️

Neurodivergent friendship is a funny thing. You can find your people and have amazing connections with them, but be too overwhelmed with life to stay in touch, but miss them dearly and feel lonely, but be too burnt out to even send a text. 😩

Neurodivergence is being mocked your whole life for being "weird" because you're different, then after years of social trauma finally learning to embrace your differences only to be told "everyone is like that, you're not special" 😒🤦‍♀️

I think I know why so many people think "everyone is a little autistic" It's because autistic needs are human needs. Because our needs are not a different category of need. They're the same as everyone else's...

Reality: Many (if not most) autistic people are living to survive. Barely coping. Some of us manage to look "fine" but are really struggling to make it through the day...

Criticizing a disabled person for feeling any way whatsoever about their own disability... by using "internalized ableism" as a reason... is victim blaming and invalidation.

Anyone interested in content on "pure O" OCD? This is a presentation of OCD that doesn't typically show up with overt behaviors. Personally, I think "internalized OCD" might be a better term for it (for the same reasons I've been using the terms "internalized autism" and "internalized meltdowns").

Let me put it this way. Disability supports are necessary to get disabled people out of survival mode. Because we can't get out of survival mode without help. Without disability supports, we are stuck using desperate, highly ineffective, and often harmful strategies to survive.

Did you know...? Autistic burnout is pervasive, long-term (3+ months) exhaustion, loss of function, and reduced tolerance to stimulus. It's described as being the result of chronic life stress and a mismatch of expectations and abilities without adequate supports. If you know. You know. 😅

Empathy is not a feature of autism. Is it impacted by autistic brain wiring? Absolutely. But it's not a feature of autism. And I want to talk about this because this is one of the most common misconceptions I've seen about autism.

Autism is a social disability It's also a sensory disability What it isn't is an empathy disability Or a rigidity disability Or an intellectual disability Breaking this one down because not all of this is self explanatory...

Autism is a social disability because most people don't have empathy for the way we communicate... yet we're the ones constantly accused of lacking empathy. Make it make sense. 😒

I think I may have figured out why there's so much confusion around what autism is and isn't. After years of trying to make sense of it myself, I'm realizing that there are actually two separate, but related aspects of autism...

People pleasing is a human behavior that occurs for all sorts of reasons. Neurodivergent people pleasing is a behavior specifically tied to trauma. We develop it as a coping mechanism to minimize repeated mistreatment...

Autistic anxiety (aka distinct anxiety)... let's talk about it. #autismawareness

Autistic anxiety... which is the direct result of autistic needs not being met (and can't be explained by any other type of anxiety) should not be the barely researched topic it currently is...

I don't know who needs to see this, but autistic accommodations include anything that would reduce autistic anxiety. Examples... Travel anxiety... asking for a seat with extra room, pre-boarding a flight, asking for a different hotel room if the one you were given triggers you.

Fellow autistics... please hear what I'm about to say, because it's important. If we want to create real, meaningful, and lasting change as a community... we need to start with radical inclusivity. That means including every autistic person. Every. single. one.

I think I understand why there's so much disagreement and confusion within the autistic community. Most of our disagreements come down to different philosophical perspectives, not different views on how autistic people should be treated or how important it is for autistic people to be supported.

Why are there so many undiagnosed adults who are only now discovering they're autistic or otherwise neurodivergent? I have an explanation...

Them: You don't look autistic Me: You don't see it because my autism mostly affects me. I've spent most of my life painstakingly minimizing the impact it has on others... so now it has no effect on you at all, but my life is indescribably more difficult and exhausting

All humans experience dysregulation and distress. Many humans experience dysregulation and distress long enough that they reach a point of exhaustion and burnout...

Internalized autistic meltdowns, let's talk about them. First of all, they can and absolutely do often look like they sound. But they can also look like absolutely nothing.

Internalized autistic meltdowns. Anyone interested in a post on this?

So what exactly are autistic needs? This is probably the most confusing aspect of autism. I think the reason this confuses so many people (even autistic people) is that autistic needs are literally just human needs.

I'm starting to realize that most people don't know what autistic needs are. In fact, a lot of people seem to think that autism is just the criteria and nothing more. That what you see is what you get. (Even many autistic people seem to think this.)

Rigid thinking is not a universal autistic trait. In fact, some autistic people are more cognitively flexible than most nonautistic people. So why is cognitive rigidity mentioned in the autism section of the DSM? Here's my take...

Should the autism diagnosis be "split"? (a question posed in a recent NY Times article) I don't know. But here's what I do know. A lot of people are feeling erased in the discourse around autism right now...

Me at 2... and me at 42 (as of yesterday 😊) What you're seeing is two versions of the same person. Version 1... unmet sensory needs... internal distress... not able to influence my own environment... functional but overwhelmed. Version 2...

5 extremely reliable signs you might be autistic 1. You've read the DSM criteria and every one resonated with you 2. You follow numerous autistic content creators and most of their content resonates with you

Autistic people are made to think that survival is an achievement. Something to be grateful for and even proud of. But when survival means keeping your body alive while all of your other needs are neglected...

I think a LOT of the current discourse around autism would be instantly simplified if we called autistic challenges vulnerabilities rather than deficits. That is all.

I think we need to start referring to all disorders as survival disorders. I have no issue with the word disorder because I see it as a descriptor, not a moral judgment. But I think we need to start acknowledging that "disordered" behaviors...

It breaks my heart that there's such a divide within the autistic community between late diagnosed lower support needs autistic adults and parents of higher support needs autistic children. The divide is costing us more than it's helping us. We are all losing ground because of it.

I don't know who needs to see this, but my autism would still be disabling to me even if society were completely reconstructed to meet every one of my social needs. I am not disabled by my autism because of social constructs...

I don't know who needs to see this, but my autism would still be disabling to me even if society were completely reconstructed to meet every one of my social needs. I am not disabled by my autism because of social constructs...

I don't know who needs to see this, but... autism is a disability because it limits our abilities... not because it removes them. Also, disability is not a bad word. It's a descriptive one.

Autism is a disability not a disease. Autism is a disability not a disease. Autism is a DISABILITY not a disease. You can't cure a disability. We need SUPPORTS. Not to be treated like we have the plague. 🤦‍♀️

Why invisible autism is hurting so many of us. A timeline. We do things. We experience consequences for those things. We mask...

Autistic kid: *exists* Society: Everything you're doing is wrong. Stop it. Autistic kid: I don't understand. Why? Society: You should KNOW why. Seriously stop it. All of it. *gestures* ↓

I wish more people understood that not all autism is visible, but all autism is disabling. If you don't see it, it's because we're actively hiding it. (Not for us, for others.) But hiding our autism means our needs are also invisible. And unmet needs = inner turmoil. 😣

I don't know who needs to see this, but autistic bluntness is not rude, it's efficient. 💡

Even if Tylenol does impact a tiny percentage of people which results in autistic-like brain wiring... why is anyone acting like that's some monumental discovery about autism? It's not even close...

Yesterday I talked about how long-term unsupported autism can lead to self-implosion after years of an autistic person's needs not being met, and I just realized something... This explains why s**cide rates are so high for autistic people. 😞💔

I realized something about autism today... something that I think is pretty huge... The opposite of autistic self-actualization (when we're at peak peace/fulfillment/happiness) is autistic self-implosion... and I actually think it's a continuum.

PSA... there's a type of autism most people can't see because all autistic traits have been internalized. Meaning, the person's autistic needs are not met... but you can't tell. They look the exact same as someone whose needs are all met.

"Everyone is on the spectrum" Not if by spectrum you mean the autism spectrum. Everyone is on A spectrum. But not the autism spectrum. The one everyone is on is the spectrum of human needs.

Them: You don't look autistic Me: You don't see it because my autism mostly affects me. I've spent most of my life painstakingly minimizing the impact it has on others... so now it has no effect on you at all, but my life is indescribably more difficult and exhausting

I have a theory and I'd love to test it out in a super unscientific way 😆 If you're autistic, tell me if this makes sense to you... My theory is that autistic people are wired to think. And when we aren't able to think for whatever reason, we get riddled with anxiety.