ππ¦ππππ πΎπ¦π£π
@sundaedivine.lol
π€ 188207
π₯ 12014
π 12257
Life is weird - letβs laugh at it before it eats us.
I donβt know who Ro Khanna and Tom Massieβs parents are but goddamned Iβd be proud if I were them. They raised their sons right.
about 6 hours ago
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Daughter just texted me she's on holiday in France and was awarded honorary citizenship for eating 48 oysters in one sitting.
about 8 hours ago
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Crayola is considering renaming βBurnt Siennaβ to βBobby Glow.β
about 9 hours ago
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My 12 year old nephew just texted me that you can put the word "anal" in front of any model of Ford car and it makes sense. His favorite model is the Anal Escort but mine is the Anal Freestyle.
about 9 hours ago
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reposted by
ππ¦ππππ πΎπ¦π£π
The Volatile Mermaid
about 9 hours ago
A void within a void. Queen of the Voids.
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ππ¦ππππ πΎπ¦π£π
The Daily Show
about 10 hours ago
Right-wing commentator Chris Kohls defended Trump's racist post by throwing his white friend Joey under the bus
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Calling the FCC because a halftime show had rhythm is like calling Animal Control because a dog barked.
add a skeleton here at some point
about 12 hours ago
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Historic run - every institution snapped like a cheap ski pole.
about 18 hours ago
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ππ¦ππππ πΎπ¦π£π
George Conway βοΈπΊπΈ
about 20 hours ago
π₯π₯π₯
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The origin story of βmove fast and break things,β was apparently, βmove fast and irritate the neighbors.β
about 20 hours ago
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Hoodlum πΊπΈ
1 day ago
Update: My Mars condo has been canceled after the stunning discovery that Mars is too far away and unlivable. Deposit still good for a moon cottage or a flying car. No refunds, obviously.
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Fox News issues emergency blanket and cocoa advisory.
2 days ago
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Elmo wakes up to spread love, learns immigration law from a guy with an eagle avatar and a Punisher skull.
2 days ago
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βAn affront to the greatness of America,β says man whose signature dance move is standing still and clapping like a confused seal.
add a skeleton here at some point
2 days ago
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βComplete and total exoneration.β
2 days ago
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Kid Rock looks like he smells like Marlboros, Axe body spray, and unresolved resentment.
2 days ago
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Kid Rock is the human version of an above-ground pool.
2 days ago
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You guys I think Iβve found a solution to our problem.
3 days ago
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Shout-out to my self-aware followers; you know who you are.
3 days ago
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Jim Acosta
3 days ago
BREAKING: The Epstein survivors are releasing this ad on this Super Bowl Sunday to send the message that they will not βmove onβ from the largest sex trafficking scandal in the world.
#standwithsurvivors
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Super Bowl weather report - 100% chance of melting broflakes.
3 days ago
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After leaving him for a week with my grandparents.
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3 days ago
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Rigged elections, paid protests, fake scienceβ¦yet somehow the spray tan is real.
3 days ago
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There was nothing left to break.
3 days ago
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Trump makes a surprise appearance to demand his trophy.
3 days ago
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Gonna tell the kids this was the 2026 Super Bowl alternate halftime.
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3 days ago
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Sasquatch spotted near the West Wing.
3 days ago
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I can't wait to get home and open a bottle of dinner.
3 days ago
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I went out last night with a dyslexic experimental physicist (sorta like a quantum mechanic) who was so excited I knew about the Higgs boson he sprung a hadron during dinner.
3 days ago
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Me: [to waiter] "How do you prepare your duck?" Waiter: "Nothing special, we just tell them they're going to die."
3 days ago
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Anthropologists thought this was an ancient depiction of a bull but then someone pointed out it was actually Trump playing golf.
3 days ago
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The same Republicans who fainted over a sneeze guard now applaud a wrecking ball.
4 days ago
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It's so cold in DC that Donald Trump got excited when he heard it was going to be in the teens.
4 days ago
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Nothing unites America like uninviting half of it.
4 days ago
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Discombobulation implies the existence of combobulation.
4 days ago
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What if instead of counting on a redistricting plan to save him, Trump pursued policies the American people want. Instead, heβs running the boldest experiment in modern politics: can you win elections by antagonizing everyone except the people who already bought the hat?
4 days ago
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HAHAHAHAHA. Gifted article HAHAHAHAHA
www.wsj.com/politics/ele...
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Trumpβs Midterm Redistricting Master Plan Is Falling Short
The presidentβs effort to push Republican state lawmakers to create more GOP-favorable House districts is on track to yield far fewer gains than expected.
https://www.wsj.com/politics/elections/trumps-midterm-redistricting-master-plan-is-falling-short-868ce156?st=mj7ZTe&reflink=desktopwebshare_permalink
4 days ago
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The only constituency where collective crying counts as a mandate.
4 days ago
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Ted is shocked to discover that rules he enjoyed no longer enjoy him.
4 days ago
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The official posture of 2026: reclined acceptance - I stopped fighting reality and upgraded my lumbar support.
4 days ago
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Trump is a dick with a cult and a combover.
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4 days ago
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The Discombobulatorβ’οΈ has been classified as a weapon of mass distraction.
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4 days ago
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Take that
@markhamillofficial.bsky.social
π€£π€£π€£
add a skeleton here at some point
5 days ago
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The Ribbon of Death isnβt a ski run - itβs gravity filing a restraining order against humans. Think Iβll stick with base jumping.
www.wsj.com/sports/olymp...
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The βRibbon of Deathβ Is the Most Petrifying Ski Course in Olympic History
The Stelvio ski slope is where the worldβs best menβs downhill skiers will vie for gold. Theyβll also be trying just to make it off the mountain in one piece.
https://www.wsj.com/sports/olympics/the-ribbon-of-death-is-the-most-petrifying-ski-course-in-olympic-history-bbab2ff7?st=bYPwgC&reflink=desktopwebshare_permalink
5 days ago
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You canβt buy happiness, but at least you can spend $44 Billion to publicize your midlife crisis.
6 days ago
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Any Democrat who votes for ICE funding without restrictions should have their blue check replaced with a shrug emoji.
7 days ago
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The Supreme Court hasnβt ruled on Trumpβs tariffs because theyβre scared stiff. Rule for him and admit youβre a hack. Rule against him and anger Trump, billionaires, and the MAGA mob. So they stall. Cowardice, with robes. π£
7 days ago
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Thank you for the 30 day free trial of 2026 but Iβd like to cancel my subscription.
7 days ago
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Hereβs to 2026!
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7 days ago
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ER staff watching Mitch McConnell being hospitalized for flu.
7 days ago
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