Maybe if I get high enough I can get a good view.

Once again I’ll reconstruct my entirety from my better parts.

Still here. You?

I think this is like the 27th Rapture watch in my lifetime, that I can recall at least.

perception is nine tents in reality as they say. I don't know what it means,but it's helped me in my life.

Thought I was experiencing the rapture but it turned out it was just the Tylenol I took.

more like crapture amirite

detox tremors, just to feel something

leave me your drugs and pets pls

With eyes that mirror the depth of the skies.

Always take chances. You’ll regret it very much

damn,now every one knows how I got my Super Powers (Tylenol does not cause autism)

I'm like if a really sleepy person were still sitting up fighting it

resting O-face

I don’t care, I’m wearing a bikini until I’m in my 90s and everyone will just have to suffer.

*blows on dice* c’mon rapture

My Boss: [patiently explaining something to me] My Brain: YOU TAKE THE GOOD YOU TAKE THE BAD YOU TAKE THEM BOTH & THERE YOU HAVE THE FACTS OF LIFE

Rapture arms around me

Bayer Baby Aspirin gives you a baby

Pssst, I think the rapture is fake news

Thrilled to report I’ve just about had it

Tell me truly, I implore! Is there anything at this store From foreign lands Or within these shores That e’er again I might afford? Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”

[first day of work] me: so, when do i get to kick one? boss: we don't actually- me: how about that one? that one looks like kind of an asshole

because if i can't share it with you, it's almost like it didn't happen

There's always a rhyme and a reason

Rapture these boobs.

We need to bring back integrity.

No no..I’ll be okay I have my disappointment cheese

Do you mean like Blondie “Rapture” rapture?

Turns out the pot at the end of the rainbow is way more potent than the pot that got me there

*Extreme Jerry Seinfeld voice* Dre, The Alamo, now the 21st night of September. How do you expect me to remember all of this?

Nobody pushes it real good anymore and it's sad

Her (whispering in my ear): You know what would be hot? Me: If we parked the car in direct sunlight and left the windows up?

How far do I have to scroll to get to the good stuff?

still badass skipping out on the school reunion like I skipped out on school

Terrifying if literal. You were always on my mind.

A band that live plays NES songs: Contraband

*mutes the word rapture because I’m not getting my hopes up again*

My girlfriend kept on asking me to go spelunking with her so eventually I caved.

If a genie asks you to choose between true love and free daily pizza, what kind of cheese are you getting on it?

Is there a way to turn "Sleep Study Participant" into a full-time job?

omg omg i think im being raptured nope just stood up too quickly oof nvm

Can’t remember who said if you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything.

If I survive another rapture tomorrow, I'm going to start thinking Jesus doesn't actually love me.

Rapture? More like NAPTURE amirite hahah-(gets hit by rock)

Edging gets defeated by FOMO.

1st day of fall and I'm still writing spring on my checks.

Don’t text your religious family tomorrow. Then on Wednesday be like “lol j/k they threw me back.”

It's the first day of September. You may now start with your "Wake me up when September ends" skeets.

Squirming squirmer from Squirmersville who squirms a lot.