Shade 5
@shade5.bsky.social
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📥 5858
📝 6223
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:pe5k4d63mfrmqkc5xxfoolkt/feed/aaalzjcmwys7u
pinned post!
I see you just posted something inspirational. First time on the internet?
2 months ago
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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
3 days ago
When I really miss my mother, I get down on the floor with the dog and have a good cry. I think she would understand. I know the dog does.
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Lizzy
8 days ago
experiencing a slutmergency... my costume isn't even out for delivery yet
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Paul
9 days ago
Nothing like a steady 36 hour rain to make sure you gotta cut the fucking grass at least one more time.
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Cosmic Clau
8 days ago
few things beat that feeling at the start of the weekend where the possibilities are endless you can do or be absolutely anything even a giant fecking sloth on the couch with your pet for two days
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ash
8 days ago
You smell like a decaying corpse..flirting
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Frostbitten Flamingo
7 days ago
I didnt talk to anyone today. It was awesome.
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Jimmer Cork-Bottle
7 days ago
The devil plays tic tac toe with your hashtags.
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[Sic] Burns
7 days ago
I sincerely hope you put flaming bags of dog shit on as many welcome mats as possible last night this could’ve been nana’s last Halloween you know
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[Sic] Burns
7 days ago
Well now look who brought a dislike button to a block fight
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Baseball Momazon ⚾️👠
7 days ago
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AnnaAnkaAnia
about 1 month ago
Sanity? That is something what still exists???
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Bogey
about 2 months ago
They die as they live, as we all will as well.
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Justmebutnot1
2 months ago
Need an underwire for my lower chin
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🧚♀️VioletMusing🧚♀️(Jellybean Socrates)
11 days ago
Shhhh...I'm pretending to be asleep.
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yoyo
9 days ago
coping is not a skill i am currently possessing
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Paused Mortem 💀
8 days ago
Dressing up as an ungiven fuck.
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'dro🐰
8 days ago
I just would like a long warm embrace, if it happens to be "of death" that would be fine too
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Bliss
8 days ago
Me, getting kidnapped: I could eat.
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E.D.D.I.E.z
14 days ago
the spider with the human arm tattoo
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Sam
2 months ago
But what will we tell the demons who fell in love in the heat of our embrace?
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Paused Mortem 💀
7 days ago
Mood stabilizers? Hoe about life stabilizers?
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BEAVE
8 days ago
The biggest problem we have as a society is that “colonel” is spelled like that and no one’s doing a damn thing about it.
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g.c.
9 days ago
this email could have been a signal chat
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Danny
9 days ago
Up on the furniture, the cat walks in front of the TV screen like she's an interactive audience participant at Rocky Horror Picture Show in a movie theater at midnight.
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Tess Tickles
23 days ago
The biggest perves are the poetry accounts followed closely by the artists.
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Pammy ✨️
about 2 months ago
When you have a beautifuI heart & pure intentions, you don't Iose anyone - they Iose you.
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LovelyDeep
8 days ago
still waiting for the big bad wolf
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ThinlyVeiledPanda
11 days ago
My phone just changed the word ‘face’ to the word ‘car.’ I hate the new auto correct on this thing
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BrujoLoco☠️🖤🏺
8 days ago
I shower daily, rinse well, take care to make sure my hygiene is good throughout the day etc… So why after my shower just now is my asshole like mad fuckin itchy?
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Katie Didn’t
almost 2 years ago
It’s been a few difficult decades working as a Hold-It-Togetherer, but I’ve really found a new, wild freedom accepting a job as the Fall-Aparterer.
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Deeks 🫶
8 days ago
Hit and runs are okay on Halloween right?
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BEAVE
12 days ago
In cringe we trust.
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Marc
12 days ago
You know how the music fades to silence at the end of some songs? I wish I could end boring conversations that same way.
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BrujoLoco☠️🖤🏺
12 days ago
This movie is fucking wild.
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ash
11 days ago
When I get a crush on Mastodon its all over for you.
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Xavier Horatio Xinicit 🎉
10 days ago
Me: Would you like my seat, madam?" Her: No, thank you. I don't take chair-ity.
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BEAVE
8 days ago
Going to have someone follow me around playing the bagpipes so I seem important.
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Ennui Doofen
10 days ago
I heard, "if you want it sugar coated, go to a bakery" thanks, i'll take a dozen glazed and let's cleanse this world with fire
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Marl
8 days ago
One scoop of mashed potatoes per person and DON'T WALK ON THE GRASS
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La
8 days ago
Please only take one!
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Shade 5
8 days ago
it’s Halloween, so imma channel my inner artist *draws blinds*
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Deeks 🫶
9 days ago
Thank you so much for your internet opinion
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Swim Jeans 👖
16 days ago
ME [bagpipes]: I think I’m dying DOCTOR [slide whistle]: we all are
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Lizzy
9 days ago
I put the id in midposting
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Veruca's Alt
8 days ago
Stop texting me, Popeye's! (No, don't)
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Fomo Simpson
9 days ago
(•_•) They did the Monster Mash <) )> / \ \(•_•) The Monster Mash ( (> / \ (•_•)/ It was a graveyard smash <) ) / \ (•_•) They did the Mash <( (> / \ (•_•) √( (> It caught on in a flash / \
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Daisy
8 days ago
Like seriously, everything would be fine if everyone would just drive exactly like I do.
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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
9 days ago
Class up your kegger by calling it a soirée.
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Shade 5
Queen RanDumb
11 days ago
It's a GIVE ME ALL THOSE EMPTY CALORIES sort of day. You get it.
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