The face of someone not ready for work after a holiday weekend

Stacking my media diet, for optimal brain rot.

Ok boys (and girls) but mostly boys. Just because some of you can come into my comments and say sexual things and it’s not usually a big deal to me, doesn’t mean you can do that to other women here. Very few things offend me but I’m not every woman so stay classy, gentlemen. 🩷

Pulkas performing "Betrayal" at the Astoria in London, England (1998)

have you tried not being a massive tool douchebag about it

The scene from Sixteen Candles only it’s me and my cat and a fire extinguisher.

a lot of people upset about jaxson dart and I get it. I feel bad for giants fans BUT cam skattelbro saying cte is fake, giants owner in the epstein files, head coach loving his presidential visit - like do the math

I'm at the bar, and somebody tried to play bunch of country music, so I skipped all their shit with good music. #DeLaSoul #ATribeCalledQuest #PearlJam #AliceInChains #drinkin

Yeh, all that's left to give it a simple fuck you...

YOU MUST SATE YOUR THIRST TO HAVE STRENGTH TO CRUSH YOUR ENEMIES.

The age old dilemma: to be funny or fall apart? I say, nay I DEMAND: why not both?

If I jump on the Vegas bandwagon for the rest of the playoffs do I get free drinks?

People who put fvck instead of fuck in a post, why? Is your mom here?

My cat woke me up at 3am with duct tape stuck to his head. Must’ve been one hell of a catnip party.

I’m not funny enough, I’m not hot enough, but dammit a couple of people like me.

I have a big family get-together in a couple of hours, so I still have time to fake my own death

Kids on e-bikes will never appreciate pedaling your ass so hard until the pedal slips and slams into your shin

Her: Ben, you make me feel a certain kinda way. Me: Is it bad? It’s bad, isn’t it?

EV's should have an equivalent to rolling coal, like shooting a ball of electricity out.

Men revving their trucks at stop lights like I’m looking for a guy who sounds expensive to insure.

quantum dumping, destroying bathrooms across the tri-state area

Physically I’m a mess, but mentally I’m just completely fucked.

When life becomes confusing, put on your favorite song and just dance.

Sometimes I go back to my old life for a little while to remember that it no longer exists.

Some people will not “get” you, but what matters is that you get yourself.

“We can disagree and still be friends.” Yeah, about whether pineapple belongs on pizza. Not racism and homophobia.

you want to participate and you want your voice to be heard, so show up for municipal elections

our "elected leader" is a fkn nincompoop doing seriously non constitutional shit and we're actually just going along with it like wtf are you doing. my friends have been detained, we are protesting every day and you're sitting at home bitching about gas and grocery prices.

On every video of a cat doing something funny, especially if there’s a child involved, there will be a whole string of people accusing the poster of cat abuse for making them do it, and that’s how you know those people have never met a cat.

Listen up designers coders developers and whoever if you are working on the layout for your app the very first motherfucking thing I want to see is "CONTINUE WATCHING" not 40 recommendations or the most popular in the country I want to watch what I was watching last night

1. Erin Brockovich is back, and this time she’s taking on the AI industry, calling Big Tech’s data center boom the next major environmental shakedown facing American communities. She launched a self-reporting map at brockovichdatacenter.com, and within just one week, more than 1,600 residents had

You are the free candy to my windowless van.

voices of anguish screaming inside of your head translating to silence

Tow truck driver pulls up with Confederate Flag on for the cover on his phone. Me: We good, don't need your help. Him: That will be 50 dollars still. Me: Cool, I'll pay it to the next driver. Him: It's due to me. Me: I'll call the company and pay them.

by my own two hands

YOU’RE LISTENING TO SISYPHUS FM, THE HOME OF NON-STOP ROCK

Watching a crowd at an INXS concert in the 80s and remembering how good that felt. The biggest difference noticed is no mobile phones. No selfies, no filming, we were all just completely absorbed in the moment.

Just took a nap so good that I'm considering writing a song about it

2022: hot lady on Twitter 2024: disgruntled lady on Bluesky 2026: old lady listening to birds with Merlin

A conspiracy theory I believe is that when you unclick the “send me marketing messages” box before ordering something you get put on a list for MORE emails. In my heart I know this is true.

I grew up on these waters. I’m fighting to make sure future generations can too.

Sometimes I barf on my cat’s favorite rug just to show him who’s actually in charge.

“you eat like you have brothers”

media when i was a child really had me thinking gum getting stuck in your hair was a common occurrence, like quicksand

I'm a big fan of beans. most legumes, really. love them on their own, in soups & salads, etc I just can't abide them with/for breakfast

Just saw someone describe advocacy as this...and I don't know if I'll ever look at it the same way. Visibility shapes empathy. And empathy shapes policy. This is why my wife and I share about Payton's story and why we care so deeply about advocating for these kids who are formed so uniquely.

When a woman says 5 minutes, think like 5 minutes left in the 4th quarter and both teams have all of their timeouts.

welp it's friday again or as i like to call it thefucktookyousolongtoarriveday

me: let's see what the sewer monsters have in store for us today my boss: your mic isn't muted me: i know