The time Whitstable was terrorised by a giant crab.

The internet has poisoned all of our minds

ᵗʰᵉ ᵇˡᵃᶦʳ ˢʰᶦᵗ ᵖʳᵒʲᵉᶜᵗ

one of the many missed opportunities of this film is playing the titular song during the credits.

I have Juice Newton’s Queen of Hearts stuck in my head. Please shoot me.

It’s full of boys and mystery

Posting on Bluesky is very Christian in that Jesus was also surrounded by prositutes, the poor and the mentally ill

Gumby is taking ice cream into the fun Egyptian religion experience. Little does he know that Ra is lactose intolerant. Let’s watch the fun begin…

WEATHER: The great demonic cow herd what periodically roams through the sky will pass o'erheard at high noon, leading to overcast conditions as the evil cattle pass between us an' the sun. Residents are warned to break out their umbrellas, as demonic cow pies an'... yellow rain... will fall.

Today is Mario Day (Mar10) so let us all take a moment to remember both Mario and his brother Luigi. They deserved better than this...

A Kakapo's feeding of a chick is an artform all in and of itself. #Rakiura #Nora #nzwildlife

I am a full fledged adult and my dog made me go to bed at 9:45pm. If anyone had told teenage me this was going to be my future I probably would’ve had more exciting fun in my youth.

they're saying whoever adds an edit button to bluesky on a 48 hour coding marathon livestream will be crowned the next ceo

In brighter news, the local rain-worms-crows industrial complex is thriving.

This is delightful which of course it is because it’s Tim Curry dammit but it contains two earth shattering revelations for the Curryverse and they are 1) he was considered for Ian Malcolm in Jurassic Park 2) he read the screenplay for Silence of the Lambs and wanted to be cast as Hannibal Lector

the guy who has me shackled to his radiator said i can’t have lunch next week unless my skeet goes viral

what is cum but a *very* juvenile delinquent?

a vagina is sometimes called a "beaver" because of the profound way in which it alters its ecosystem

Sooo…the growth is benign BUT 2 new cell types AND Hashimoto’s is confirmed. Basically all sorts of wrong that doesn’t lead to a thyroidectomy. FML.

🧵Spotted While Roaming in Aotearoa New Zealand: In a cafe: A woman (80s?) is gifted a pretty tea towel with teapots, cups and saucers on it. Laughing, she ties it on her head like a makeshift bandana, asking her friends: "Anyone want to be in my tea gang?" (1)

I have created a diorama of the Partridge family attacking the Brady Bunch family. My life is very boring.

The older I get, the more I understand Dale

One, two, three, four. I declare a thumb war.

Kinder Eggs mean there is a Kinder Cloaca somewhere

i am of course going to keep posting my 3 AM thoughts because I believe that is exactly what social media is for, but folks, if you want a truly comprehensive and multifaceted peer-reviewed exploration of something, may I suggest books and academic papers and not Bluesky threads

When this baby hits 88 miles per hour, you're going to get a ticket for throwing a smoke alarm out the window of your car.

Daylight Saving Time is a myth. Tell your boss the only rhythms you respond to are the eternal ebb and flow of the sea and the sleep cycles of the ancient creatures that slumber in the deep and dark places of the world.

I'm glad Scooter the Computer and Mr. Chips aren't alive to see this.

Hey, Hey, Hey, Nothing gold can stay. - Fat Albert talking to Pony Boy Curtis.

Christian Poopoo Groom Hawaii, Board of Health, Marriage Record Indexes, 1909-1989

I had biscuits and gravy with a side of corned beef hash yesterday. I am going to absolutely WRECK the office thunder bucket this morning.

Fishy Scales Bride Arkansas, County Marriages, 1837-1957

Great glorious glutes!

🦀

Who up contemplating death because of DST?

Alright. If I can fall asleep in 13 minutes I can get 5 hours before I go to work. Pray for me, saints.

Tomorrow morning is going to suuuuuuck. I honestly thought the end of dst would happen in my lifetime. How the hell did legal weed happen before it? The clock fucks with everyone.

I don’t know who needs to hear this. But it’s Wild Cabbage Emerging From Mud Season, you can also erupt from the dirt with purple pornographic zeal to unfurl your freaky shit. You got this.

Where the fuck did the weekend go? - Me, every Sunday at 5:30pm

I did not have sexual relations with that woman

Overhead at the diner just now, “You took him slutting? Down the hill?”

IT'S FINE, YOU CAN HAVE IT, I DON'T WANT IT. ONE LESS HOUR TO BE SAD ANYWAY.

international women’s day

THE DALLAS GO-BOTS

I still want one

Good morning!