I like this. What if the Plague doctor mask (not medieval) was based on specific birds :) By Shayna Daniel, AKA Squid Von Bob squidvonbob.tumblr.com/post/1879026...

the three words every girl wants to hear

おはようございます☀祝日㊗️ですが今日も仕事です_(:3」z)_ 行っちゃうの…って顔でこっち見ないでかずは🦜🤣 #コザクラインコ #インコ

I’m gonna spend the rest of the apocalypse watching old episodes of WCW Saturday Night from the 80s 🤼

queef is short for queen fart

This is where I’m going to post from during tomorrow’s rapture.

I just found out that the rapture is scheduled for tomorrow and I am expecting a big ass party after everyone that bugs me is ascended.

I’m trying really hard to eat a 7 layer burrito and a chili cheese burrito a day until Taco Bell takes them away again.

when a big account notices your comment

i will never call wrestling shows 'the product' if i start calling wrestling shows 'the product' just take me out back and shoot me

Genuinely powerful words to live by.

FAT BEAR WEEEEEK

TECHNICALLY because it is controlled by a handheld tablet a Boston Dynamics robot dog counts as a melee weapon

This shoulder length hair is driving me crazy. I need my hair to not touch me. I’m on the verge of a Britney moment.

Nothing says I mean business like wearing a hospital gown to the pharmacy.

earth wind and shire

Surgery in order of favorites: 1) hysterectomy 2) breast reduction 3) bilateral salpingectomy 4) tonsillectomy 5) appendectomy

Breathing exercises (smoking weed)

Transmission #03025 from NROL-82 (TOP SECRET) 1. Illicit Debt 2. Black Hole of Cringe Polkas

I have two main problem solving methods: 1. Bourbon, chainsaws, and fire.. 2. Caffeine, machetes, and fire... You can always level up your crisis management by adding a shovel to either method.

Busting into my stash of last year’s Caron Anniversary yarn. 🧶

I want this level of peace and calm

Wrestling is the Bisexualist of the sports 🥰 #AEWAllOut

(Eyes widening trying to think of something truly frightening) Imagine a world without bread

moves like jagger (jagger the giant new guinea earthworm, sluggish with rich earth nutrients, engorged in anticipation of worm sex)

🎨 Huang Yongyu (1992)

IT'S DONE!! Didn't quite make it to purple with the pattern as written & thinking about adding more rows to create some drape, but holy moly it's gonna be perfect for my rainbow faire outfit! Pattern is 8-rib Cherry Blossamer Parasol by chiaroscurosity 🧶 Yarn is Cotton Kings Sultan in Rainbow Gem

A musical set at a Canadian high school in the 50's called Geese.

Answering all calls from now on with "Go ahead caller, you're on the air"

"recent inspections at three other Boar's Head facilities turned up similarly alarming sanitation problems—including mold, condensation on ceilings, overflowing trash, meat residue caked onto equipment and walls, and employees failing to wash their hands."

Has science gone too far?

Wow the new iOS design is something

Music FACT: Placebo were originally a Cure tribute band

Homie with the Foamie!

This may seem cute but if you do this too much the cyclists may become reliant on cars feeding them, disrupting the delicate roadway ecosystem

cats have begun

We're supposed lounging naked in primordial ponds. Eating mildly-alcoholic fruit off the branch, while reinforcing social bonds through touch. Whatever monkey proposed this shit should have had it's skull caved in by a rock mid-sentence.

Be mesmerized by the many varieties of fish in the kelp forest at the Atlanta Aquarium. #FishyFriday #ForestFriday #Scape #EastCoastKin #Nature #photography #onlybeautifulthings #seascape #aquarium

Bring her a cheeseburger. Bitches love cheeseburgers.

I am also a loser. Where’s my cut of the royalties, Beck?!

Is 9:45am too early to eat lunch? It’s leftover pad thai with tofu if that makes a difference.

MY UNDERCARRIAGE let me show it to you!

Conspiracy theory: this is all a work to drum up interest in Kimmel's forthcoming podcast

Reskeet with your mental state

Pumpkin spice Preparation H