Understanding Berserker Piglet means understanding that he spent more than a few nights in his room with the lights off listening to the Toys soundtrack. The “closing of the year” is way better than it deserves to be. To heck with the haters, I unironically loved that movie.

me n whom

https://youtu.be/GxjqGoD34Kc let's reminisce about my old "Twin Peaks" Podcast, 'Farts Walk With Me.'

James will NEVER be my dad He's not drunk enough

I mean, for one thing, I'd need to know who you are to even begin answering this question

Met Bruce Campbell once while incredibly hungover, in 2005. Like, I drank over a quarter gallon of awful 100 proof vodka the night before. He made fun of me a bit, but was pretty nice, and could probably smell the vodka fumes coming off of me.

If sandwich shops don’t start offering a sandwich named “the acquittal” then what are we even doing

I wonder if the video game has Tori Amos and Thomas Dolby songs in it like the movie does.

For some reason the media is not mentioning that the reason GTA6 is being delayed is they fired 40 staff over threats of unionization and now the rest of their staff are revolting

A fed is a guy that can’t get no sub from me Patrolling the mustard side of the onion slide, thousand yard staring at me

True Story. Those Sci-Fi Channel reruns at 5PM were appointment television for 16-year-old Farts.

I'm getting more limber again now that I'm skinny. When I was a teen, I was very skinny for a few years. The school wanted me to be a dude cheerleader. I said "No thanks." When my dude friends asked why I wouldn't want to hang with cheerleaders all the time, I said "Quantum Leap reruns to watch."

STORY TIME WITH UNCLE FARTS

STOP THIS IS A CUTE ANIMAL PIC CHECKPOINT. PLEASE SHARE A MINIMUM OF ONE (1) CUTE ANIMAL PIC BEFORE PROCEEDING. THIS IS A PRECAUTIONARY MEASURE TO PRESERVE THE MENTAL HEALTH OF THIS SITE. WE THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION.

got a DNA test. Turns out I'm 40% Master Shake, 30% ALF, 10% Ernest P. Worrell, 10% Bender from Futurama, 5% Doc Brown, and 5% Pee-Wee Herman. This adds up.

we all fondly remember French Stewart from "Third Rock From The Sun," but I've always wondered if there was an Italian Stewart.

Is Alan Alda on Bluesky?? I'll ask him directly if he's seen TRON.

I gave him a top hat

every time i tell someone that i won't go back to my hometown, they're like "oh come on, nobody would even recognize you," i'm like "have u seen my dad???" i mean look at him in this picture and tell me we aren't identical

Dracula would probably not hang out with Farts Johnson, and that's ON HIM

Wild At Fart

Farts 2 : The Re-Fartening

I've always wanted to go on a first date to see KOYAANISQATSI with someone who has never heard of it; see how that evening goes. lol

These cats are spoilt.

I mean, I'm trying

I almost died right before my 39th birthday in late August. Since then, my nervousness about meeting people has dropped away. I spent too long spending most of my time alone, worrying. My landlords; family & friends have all noticed a huge change. Too bad it took, ya know, almost dying to get there

I gotta find my PKE Meter I got from Spirit Halloween years ago. Find out if any of my dogs are actually poltergeists.

if anyone has $130 and wants to get yer ol' pal, Farts, a Christmas present, here's a good'un

Every scene with Lynch is a gas.

Gonna have to change this account to Smoulders "sredluomS" Johnson

"In these demon days It's so cold inside So hard for a good soul to survive"

My high school pal, who went by "Donkey Punch" since his initials were "DP," (obviously), once bought a mason jar with its lid on, which came with a certificate of authenticity claiming that it contained the soul of Jim Morrison. All of this is true. None of this is made up.

This bit still sticks in my head, 30 years later.

everyone look at li'l @jamesleech.bsky.social His hair is like a shark's fin

MY OLDEST NIECE HAS WEIGHED IN ON THE NEW LOOK lol

me n whom

Thats Farts "Dr. Sam 🅱️eckett" Johnson!

Worth it.

I can’t even imagine yelling unless it was an emergency let alone yelling like Ruby Rhod, but just imagine me shouting like that in friendly support of your silly goodness.

“…epididymus.”

Egon Spengler was a demon in the sack. You can tell just by watching him.

Woman want him. Men want to be him.

It was the line about collecting spores, molds and fungus that did it, wasn't it?

Well she will need to be a ghostbuster to get to meet him.

got a DNA test. Turns out I'm 40% Master Shake, 30% ALF, 10% Ernest P. Worrell, 10% Bender from Futurama, 5% Doc Brown, and 5% Pee-Wee Herman. This adds up.

These cats are spoilt.