As far as I know, this is the only photo of both my mother's father and my father's father together.

Five television shows to get to know me: Twin Peaks Star Trek (most) Cheers/Frasier M*A*S*H Aqua Teen Hunger Force

hold up, when did Audrey come to see me?

Imo the biggest news story of the day was when my two year old niece went outside and said “look at all those fucking bees!”

This speaks directly to me.

Wile E. Coyote Finally Kills Road Runner Then Immediately Wishes He Hadn’t

oh, i fuckin' *love* the Tremors film series.

Season 2 Episode 39 - Frame 343 out of 2584

Classic Garfield

In this pitch for another "Star Trek: The Next Generation" motion picture, I have five words: "Data, now human, discovers hoagies." No, that is not the B-Plot. That is the Only Plot. $12 mil budget, $768 mil gross, guaranteed.

There He Is. There's My Big Boy.

Tales From The Keane Compound #926

Tales From The Keane Compound #641

Tales From The Keane Compound #933

guy whose says "liminal" too much found dead at the end of a normal hallway

youtu.be/8dAaThXbCNM #NowWatching #Filmsky

Paul F. Tompkins?

On this day in the year 2000, Janice Soprano cooked dinner for her fiancé Richie. It did not end well.

Got his dead fuckin' ass. #letterboxd #filmsky #lonchaneyjr

A'ight, which of these movies THAT I HAVE NEVER SEEN BEFORE should I try to watch today?

well, assholes have run my girlfriend off of Bluesky, so that's fucked.

Post something random or you'll have an AWFUL April

People realize that I, Farts Johnson, post jokes on Bluesky, for shits and giggles, right?

This is like Garfield without Garfield

We can never truly understand Farts Johnson

Farts why

Gonna marathon "Twin Peaks" but skip all the David Lynch directed episodes. See what the fuck that does for me. Maybe I'll go insane.

Mine would Evil Dead Ringers

Another slide from the upcoming [email protected] PowerPoint Presentation I'm working on. Graphics by James Leech, once again.

Both also always dress smart. Whats stopping you from putting on a suit?

I guess my pitch for a standalone EVIL DEAD sequel would be "Evil Dead: With Kaiju Now"

Wait, Sam Raimi and David Lynch both have/had bizarre high-pitched loud voices, talk/talked like old men before they even got old, and are my two favorite directors. There's got to be something there.

Superman can hear his mother’s heartbeat in another city. He can hear the plaintive mews of a cat stuck in a tree. He can hear the last, desperate gasp of a drowning child. But more than that… …he can hear the blues a-callin’, tossed salads and scrambled eggs.

A spicy alt but it's just about all sorts of peppers and hot sauces.

The only comedy process you need is you processing how long it'll take before people start booing you

Haha, I hate "Twin Peaks" am I right? April Fools, friends, wow! can you believe some of you fell for such a trick? (turns chair around) Kids, I want to get serious for a moment: That was a character. It's not right to lie about hating "Twin Peaks." #TwinPeaks #AprilFools #ComedyIsAProcess

What if Superman was a dumbass and thought Twin Peaks was real, so he spent all his time punching Bobs

Wait, when does Superman enter the Public Domain? I got some ideas, some ponderings, some words to live by that may or may not involve "what if Superman was really into 'Frasier?'" as a cornerstone to the entire project.

actually it's R.L. Stine's monster.

"Cat Dead - Details Later"

oh, hey, my iTunes copy of RE-ANIMATOR (1985) features the extended Integral Version with like 18 extra minutes of footage. I've never seen that version. Guess that's my morning settled.

I reckon I was feeling pretty okay last night.

Aaaayyyyyyy, it's me, Timy Tin, I Exist in Literatuuuuuuuuure. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Sometimes it occurs that I say things and people actually have to live with those words, that came from me, forever. So every time I post "lol farts" or some such it's another nanosecond of someone's memory I'm affecting. Horrifying.

Here's an old #Letterboxd review from when I was still a Drunk. #Filmsky