Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one who remembers that in 2016 Kings Of Leon released an album cover that looks like they’re drowning in cum

Why does it look like she’s wearing this

I would’ve thrown it all away for the Die Hard 2 fax lady

*billy corgan voice*

Often when I am in a Walgreens I am thinking “how can I take this experience home with me”

This is great because I’m always thinking what if my arm was resting on something cold and uncomfortable as fuck

Often when I am in a Walgreens I am thinking “how can I take this experience home with me”

The Banshees of Inisherin (2022)

The question was “have you read mein kampf”

Feels silly to talk about this one in a career full of classics, but this movie could’ve/should’ve been totally embarrassing. It wasn’t, cuz Reiner made it feel like a warm hang with old buds doing a few last bits together. Fitting his last one lovingly looks back on the one that started his big run

Whatever happened with this Rob Reiner thing, we are not ready for it

Via process of elimination, Jay-Z now has the best verse on Monster

There should be an age you reach where a microphone won’t work if you try to talk into it

Would love if their official statement was just like “We are so grossed out”

Why does he look like he’s saying “yoink”

“Bret Easton Ellis interviews Quentin Tarantino” feels like a wish I made in my college dorm on a monkey’s paw in 2002

This just links you to a jpeg of a cup of coffee

Mfer telling each family “I’ll be back again someday”

I don’t think this guy got depressed enough

All it takes is one good pumpkin with a gun

*eagerly standing outside a quest diagnostics at 11:59 PM Thanksgiving night holding a cup of piss*

The only "PTA" film I care about this week

Bart Simpson calling Moe’s-ass name

Hey, we saw you from across the bar and wE rEaLlY wAnT YoUr sOuL

Former leopard handler with leopard update

“The real problem with America is my bitch ex-wife” is perhaps the most MAGA take ever created

Professional wrestling Harlem Globetrotters v the Generals & the good guys winning at the end of a Marvel movie are all more unpredictable than a showdown between the Dems & Repubs. This shit is as rickety & fake as a Wild West stunt show at a third tier amusement park. #DemsCave #CorruptDuopoly

Whoa they invented a word for when you’re a weird loser nobody wants to work with?

The aesthetics of a Scientology building

I bought a month of Fox to watch the World Series and as a nice little bonus I get to watch Fox News lose their goddamn minds about Mamdani

Alan, it’s time

It must have been awkward for Riley to stand so close to someone whose ideology she doesn’t identify with - a winner

He’s still cold in the middle

Every time he posts is an indictment against capitalism. We let someone that dumb have all that

When you’re a Chelsey Lately panelist trying to get to your pre-written joke

If Scott Adams dies I hope someone wears one of those bent-upwards Dilbert ties to the funeral

I’m sorry, Canada, I guess you’ll just have to fall back on having a better country in every way

I hope the teams will remember to get different scores tonight

“It’s… always been 5-5.”

Home run edging

We have to end ghost kitchens

Going forward it would be nice if people remember to not cast this piece of shit. I know it’s difficult — he’s a great actor with incredible credits

Yes. Can the one on the left not breastfeed because his BAC is too high

The Blue Jays logo looks like it has an unread notification and it’s driving me crazy

A funny thing about Misery is, you realize that the way James Caan plays off of Kathy Bates is actually the exact same way he ends up playing off of Will Ferrell in Elf

Do you think I’d explain my masterstroke if there remained the slightest chance of you affecting its outcome? I made the NYPD woke 35 minutes ago.

3 home runs and 9 strike-outs is some create-a-player stats

Christmas commercials play on October 17th now because the world is in a rush for us to die