Dammit Bears this was supposed to be my escapist plan for the night but you are not helping

The Bears have had an amazing season. Better than I dreamed of. Winning the NFCN. Playoffs. I'm ecstatic at the team's turnaround. That being said, if we lose to the Packers tonight I will want to fucking die. Making an offering to the ghost of Papa Bear Halas to hedge our bets. #BearDown #FTP

All rock chalk, no jay hawk

All rama-lama, no ding-dong

Funny how the don’t-treaders and 2nd amendmenters see no problem when the govt. jackboots are stomping on other people. That snake is still poisonous but it ain’t you, and kindly fuck off if one day you need an antidote

All Siegfried, no Roy

To any reporter infiltrating ICE undercover to track and report their hidden behaviors, all I ask is to not be a greedy punk ass bitch and publish a book months later when fuck-all can be done about it

It’s Saturday Bluesky. Time to double up your likes and reposts to make up for those that abandon us to interact with the outside world.

on this day exactly 25 years ago, I pointed at a beautiful woman across the street & said "that's the girl I'm gonna marry one day,” but it turned out to be a lamppost

All fiddle, no faddle

All rock ‘em, no sock ‘em

Thanks Jezza for keeping us in the loop!! This was some healing balm from you and the whole awesome #AT40 crew! ✌️💙

That sidewalk was agitating.

Jan 8 ‘72 and I’m walking home from 1st grade with Lisa’s stuffed monkey under my arm. She’d asked me to babysit him for the night and I didn’t punch her like I’d have punched Barry if he’d asked me; I just said OK. Heard a Bread song that night and realized this may not be about the monkey #AT40

GO! Get out of your head a bit. Breathe. Turn that music Up! No sad, no anger.

Bread missed a perfect opportunity when they didn’t go with “Baby I’m a Knead You” #AT40

I miss school in the early 80s when men could finally could fess up about being a teacher only because they needed to avoid the Vietnam draft 15 years ago

Illin’ in Illinois ….wait that had to be how this game started but I’m too lazy to check so sue me

Slightly diminish a band The Duo

Slightly diminish a band Slightly Diminished Kennedys

About the “but Indiana only has a few 4-star athletes…” those stars are assigned to players in high school and are heavily based on which major college programs have recruited them already. Smart grown-ups with the most smart money now can be Alabama or Notre Dame in one year. Moola-moola!

I miss school in the 70s when recess was Lord of the Flies

I miss school in the 70s when you had to pick a future spouse on Valentine’s Day or the teacher would assign you one in front of the class

I wish I could’ve been a student in the 60s when every day ended with Hendrix playing the national anthem

I miss teaching in the 80s when teachers just rolled out lessons without commercial interruptions

All gnip, no gnop

It feels like a lot of people weren't taught the distinction between soft sciences and hard sciences.

Nature doesn't care if you have city in your heart, but rustling in your veins is probably some rat about an underlying and potentially lattice ivy problem

recipe for flourless brownies, actually no-bake flourless brownies, actually instant no ingredients brownies, actually can make while driving a car brownies

On the day after the US takes over and Air Force One is landing at the US base, that dumbass is gonna look out the window and say, “what the fuck is this I said Greenland not Iceland you idiots”

“What Boys Need to Know About Human Reproduction” Biggest 5th grade letdown ever

Simon Sez but the Simons shout five different commands at once while running straight at you and you’re dead if you lose. Line up, kids!

The mighty Mississippi begins in Minnesota. Maybe the beginning of the end for these fascist chodes begins there too. Solidarity from Massachusetts, you betcha

There’s hope in’t yet.

this will get me more blocks than my pussy posts. melted cheese is disgusting.

Having a meltdown, pouring myself into a mold, creating a powerful talisman

Man I love a good crescendo

I am the de-facto leader of a vast army of rodents, one battalion of which this very moment is digging under the foundation of their parent’s precious tract house

Hey if door-to-door JD Vance shows up on your porch saying recent storms may qualify you for a free couch do not let him in

Can’t right now I’m training a bird flu-infected carrier pigeon to shit on Stephen Miller’s head

they say when your kid is ready, you’ll know. last night i sat my daughter down to have the talk. about juggalos.

It’s actually pretty easy to herd cats if they’re all hungry and you start dumping food on the ground

fuck the new upside down u.s. food pyramid . imma stick with this one: 🍕 🍕🥓🍕 🥓🍕🥓🍕 🍕🥓🍕🥓🍕 🥓🍕🥓🍕🥓🍕

I saw what you didn't know you were doing, it's called subconsciously. But how you were doing it is so irrelevant since psychology left our throuple

keeping the tree up an extra month so i can pretend this month never happened.

Leaving my xmas decor up for as long as I like... nothing matters anyway

I am so fuck*ng tired of these stupid assho*es who can’t seem to create media graphics without stepping on their own penis*s

i like what yt and ig are doing with shorts and reels but videos are still too long for my attention span. i propose a system for getting videos down to a single frame.

Never knew I’d be so comforted by the thought of watching a gut-churning hospital ER drama on TV tonight but here we are

Gonna start working that food pyramid right now so turkey is in the oven, steak is on the grill and cheese wheel is in my hand