@catlady.gay happy birthday! 🎂🥂

Boobs are absolutely the best thing that has ever happened for my mental health.

youngest welcomed me with a "yay the bubble gum pink hair is back!", getting off the bus, she's my tiny cheerleader

CITIZENS OF SEATTLE: I'll be performing at Ass-tronauts & Robo-tits, a sci-fi burlesque show on December 6th in West Seattle! It's gonna be a great show, get your tickets now! www.ticketleap.events/tickets/the-...

He ran around me squeaking like a guinea pig when I got home:

If any NYC friends has a lead, please give Isobel a shout. 🙏

lol a perfect capitalist society where you can’t afford to buy things and they’re telling you not to anyway

I have so much shit to to get ready for tonight, it's a perfect time to make a new playlist

HEAD LIKE A HOLE BLACK AS YOUR SOUL I'D RATHER DIE THAN GIVE YOU CONTROL

My birthday nails 💅

What's the point of making an appointment if I'm gonna have to wait like a walk in anyway?

did y’all hear about that new flick featuring a cast of amphibians? ribbiting content

Stop what you're doing and get a load of this cat (Sound on) :-3

A friendly reminder this holiday season to shop smart. Shop S-Mart.

Fuck you co-star, you don't know me

It's exciting to watch all the #TheMightyNein Hype grow.

"I view boyhood and masculinity as inherently traumatic and a fail state, therefore anyone who willingly identifies with them is a bad agent or ignorant vector" Fuck off holy shit

big crew today

the financial climate has made it so that 2 years ago i considered doordash like "expensive treat" levels of unnecessary but now it's like "obscene kingly luxury". the fuck you mean im gonna pay over $30 for less than 1500 calories??? eat a battery

bundlepaws

Hittin' on the BK drive thru lady cuz she smell like chicken fries.

Everyone’s gangster until they hear their own voice on a recording.

bro what the fuck even are chapped lips. like you’re telling me the human body can do all these miraculous things, but you go out for two minutes into some dry cold wind and your week is just fucked?

Going into the office while everyone has a cold to hear the cacoughony

your brain is run by a worm; mine is run by an ex's brainwashing we are not the same

I’d wear matching Christmas pajamas with you

Sherman Oats

how do you all stay awake past 9pm, my brain says: nope

How are there 14 seasons of The Masked Singer? Who the fuck is watching this shit? I mean, no judgement but… so much judgement.

reasons why I'm bisexual: 1) women are beautiful, and some men are hot too 2) it just turns out that I am 3) it seems to make the most people upset

mamdani is a no go, but marjorie taylor greene the transphobic, racist, homophobic antisemite bigot - they have room for her, they got room for nazi tattoo guy. no room for you though.

i don’t want to see the worst ad you’ve ever seen i’m trying to not see them on a platform where there is none

I would very much like it if my brain stopped trying to tell me that my friends secretly hate me when all evidence points to the contrary

Rebecca Heineman is a legend. If you’re playing video games right now then the work she has done has impacted you.

No longer #caturday but I thought BlueSky would like to see Sadie as a kitten. She is polydactyl and her feet were huge as a kitten. 💖

boyfriend who gives me pets and feeds me tube

I can't calm my tits because that's where I store my whimsy

I know this is mean and reductive and petty but it pisses me off when I see somebody saying "i've received more online harassment than you can even imagine" and then it's a straight white guy. like, okay, well i doubt it lol

Latenite archival babbyGonz time!

Today's motivation for getting through my interviews effectively is: if you don't start talking, I'll fill the silence like I'm in a therapy session, and good luck coming out of that without secondhand trauma.

This feels so obvious that I shouldn’t have to keep explaining it, but if I could go fuck myself, we would not even be having this conversation to begin with

advocates for things that a small number of people with outsized agency and impulse control benefit from are always going to be the small number of people with outsized agency and impulse control. not sure there is a way around this problem. you see it everywhere in debates on vice regulation

Lmao The News™ is at it again, dressing up needing multiple jobs to make ends meet as "polyworking."

Having a lightbulb moment so intense it shatters the bulb and gets mercury all over my brain

This is what made today a perfect day

She's likely to grind my heart into meal and I would love her more every minute she does. I have a weakness for women who use me. It's one of my more endearing faults, I think. Cerulean eyes and chestnut hair, a cigarette carelessly balanced in her lips: the marks of a beauty that is a millstone

Diabolical that I have to live through a second generation of Clinton dick jokes.

our late night munchies probably aren’t the same

DEMS: Antisemitism has NO place in our party ALSO DEMS: