Remember when Allstate used to say how much they'd donated. People did the math, and realized it was a pittance. I remember.

I think the word is "gashing". As in, "Indiana's run game is gashing Miami's defense."

Oh, look. A National Championship Game and nary an SEC team in sight, again.

Every fucking time.

Haha, suckers. I got my ass fired so no work tomorrow for me. But if anyone has a job for me that would be cook too. :-)

This is the only correct take.

“Political satire became obsolete when Henry Kissinger was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.” ~ Tom Lehrer (maybe apocryphal, but very correct and very Lehrer)

His underlying thesis...that the "Left" (however you define it) has, for a hundred years, systematically captured every agency in the government. I can think of a group in 1932 who thought a particular group controlled society.

I kinda miss the OG Apple skeuomorphism.

Not to beat a dead horse, but post-WWII, the sale of inhabited territory w/o the consent of the residents is illegitimate under international law. As for invading...initiating a war of aggression is "the supreme international crime" that "contains within itself the accumulated evil of the whole"

Has anyone who has successfully migrated to northsky generated a new feed yet?

I just want full b-cups at least. Beyond that, I understand I’ll need a surgeon

The Boy just called me an "uncultured swine", and you know, that's fair.

President Abby Jane sings an historic executive order mandating that for the Iron Bowl, “Auburn” shall be referred to as Alabama Polytechnic.

Brought the laptop to the pizza joint to drink beer, watch football, and not be limited to a phone screen. Three people have commented about me 'working' really hard. Nah, bitch, I'm unemployed as hell. I just like having a decent screen and a keyboard.

Lol. Lynching involves death. You can't be lynched (or attempted lynching?). Fucking pissbaby.

Awful lot of laundry on the field lol.

They should bring back the Old School Super Bowl logos.

Iykyk

Found my keys. I'm not in Chicago.

Planning Sportsball Europe - 2026 for September. Anchor: Middlesex v. Northamptonshire in a First Class cricket match at Lord's. Scheduled around that will be a North London Tottenham Hotspur match (TBD). And, then to Hamburg for FC St. Pauli (TBD). In between, museums, Chunnel, and easyJet.

The only quantum physics meme that is worth the ink

Verizon has apologized more and better for one day of inconvenience than my mother has for a lifetime of her being a bitch. Good job, Bell Atlantic.

Flyers getting owned. You love to see it.

Leonardo DiCaprio has stopped using Wikipedia.

friendly reminder The things you believed were right yesterday are still right. They'll be right if they put you in jail. They'll be right if they shoot you. They'll still be right when these people are dead and dusted and gone. which they will be

A vote for Abby Jane is a vote for: If software is sold as a product, it must remain usable without ongoing payment. If subscriptions are offered, a non-subscription option must exist. If hardware depends on software to function, that software cannot be revoked. Ownership must mean something again.

The autistic feminine urge to go through the Constitution and tidy up some of the bits that needed tidying.

I already do this:

This is funny and true. Filling out the intake form for my son to get his ADHD assessment...I thought, "Oh, that's me...that's me too...uh, shit makes sense now." So now we both microdose meth to be able to interact with normies.

No shit, Sherlock.

The feting of Michelle Goldberg by people who should know better is as disappointing as it is predictable.

My thought about dolphins: they're assholes. like literally the jerks you meet at a club.

Even SCOTUS doesn't want me. :(

Would be nice if there were a little friction of "don't go, stay!" but I understand and honestly it is "for the best." But just a little friction...as a treat.

This is the dream. One day, Abby Jane, one day.

Good times when a guy with no posts jumps into my mentions to inform me that “Mac the Knife” is from Threepenny Opera like I don’t have ADHD, an internet connection, and no ability to self-regulate. Easiest block of the day.

Tilda put it best, but I’m genuinely begging non lawyers to tune out scotus as much as you can. The halcyon days of protecting minority rights are gone—for now. I’ll let you know when to tune back in. If you need or want to court-watch, state supreme courts are the place to go

Oh, anyway, shopping for an e-bike is fun.

just a reminder that the SCOTUS oral arguments today are going to be a highlight reel of the dumbest and worst faith regurgitated transphobic shittery from the past decade, there will be absolutely nothing to glean from this nonsense, and trans people you don't need to hear any of this again

"Mac the Knife" is a fucking weird song and even weirder was "Mac Tonight". I have no point, just shit is fucking weird.

Additional Aaron Rogers and Mike Tomlin thoughts...fire them. Simple. Done. Fire them both. Thank you for your service, now please exit stage left.

They should get the refs some shirts that fit better. The puffy sleeves ain't it.

I stand by my slur.

Aaron Rogers can suck my lady nuts.

My "Old Woman Yells at Clouds" belief is that only players on the field should be able to call a time out.

ICE is so young that I remember **why** it was created. INS combined benefits, border inspection, and immigration enforcement. The idea of splitting INS into USCIS (naturalization/green cards/etc), CBP (customs/border), and ICE (interior policing) was not a bad idea at the time.

It’s been stressful being unemployed, but hearing what a shit show my former workplace has turned into makes me think I wouldn’t be much more anxious or depressed than I am now.

That is legit funny.

Gus Johnson needs to fucking chill out. I have to mute him.