Sam Altman is gonna come out and say it’s the fault of users that they died, ChatGPT is actually Rokko’s Basilica and they didn’t believe hard enough

Sorry had to stop the war, all the chips and RAM we need for new missiles are busy making weird cat videos that are somehow also Christian propaganda

Much like the Marvel movies and attendant TV shows, one doesn’t NEED to know about the major and minor and proxy wars and minor conflicts and long term tensions to fully understand WWIII but it really makes the experience more rewarding and enriching if you do

“Callie don’t be so testy!” “Believe me I wish I wasn’t.”

Lived long enough for the Justin “Apple“ Long vs John “PC” Hodgman commercials to be rebooted as Ozempic ads

Not digging the whole “mad king dragged into war by rogue vassal state” thing

So you’re telling me they asked Claude “how do we change regime and Claude said “if you want to change a regime, eliminating everyone in any leadership capacity should be done first, that way they’ll have to be replaced. Would you like to make me a list?” www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2...

Who’s the beard?

Timothy Onlyphans

I’m like if an old lady was in her 40s and also a raccoon

The world is mostly horrors so one like for one silly toy dinosaur adventure

I’m a complicated woman, in that I really try not to swear so I say things like “what on god’s green earth?” or “Fiddlesticks!” or “Well gosh darn it!” like I’m a lil ol lady but then I’ll turn around and shout things like “well shit on my dick” or “Jesus tittyfucking Christ” or worse.

Call me crazy but saying Trump is “anointed by Jesus” seems like a first degree violation of the third commandment

“Get in, loser, we’re going Crusading!”

Timothy Onlyphans

It’s true, gay men and boys are never called or derisively told they’re girls

Gosh I hope this doesn’t raise the price of that incredibly expensive and wowingly mid Dubai chocolate that they’ve been using for candy diplomacy

“Get in, loser, we’re going Crusading!”

Taking advantage of my nominally jewish heritage to get blasted on a Monday observing Purim

Coworker was hard at work so he got sent to HR

Today’s art is more pins!

The war on Iran, the war on immigrants, on Venezuela, on transgender people, are all wars of distraction to obfuscate the president’s utter failure in the one war that matters, the War on High Prices. -Hakeem Jeffries for the NYT Opinion page

People in breakroom talking about only eating hole foods, which I assume means you only eat things that can fit in one of your orifices

Epic Fury is dumb, operations need cool names like Fatal Mongoose or Perambulator Death Strike

DID YOU KNOW?: Enough events happened in the first two months of 2026 to make 38 more versions of William Joel’s “We Didn’t Start the Fire”

The war on Iran, the war on immigrants, on Venezuela, on transgender people, are all wars of distraction to obfuscate the president’s utter failure in the one war that matters, the War on High Prices. -Hakeem Jeffries for the NYT Opinion page

Coworker was marveling at how even my foundation was but I didn’t have the heart to tell her it’s because I use Bondo as primer

People in breakroom talking about only eating hole foods, which I assume means you only eat things that can fit in one of your orifices

DID YOU KNOW?: Enough events happened in the first two months of 2026 to make 38 more versions of William Joel’s “We Didn’t Start the Fire”

Thought the realtor misspoke when she said she was gonna show me a place on the Upskirts of Town but now I’m with her a strip club I didn’t know was here and I think she’s gonna get us kicked out

Thought the realtor misspoke when she said she was gonna show me a place on the Upskirts of Town but now I’m with her a strip club I didn’t know was here and I think she’s gonna get us kicked out

Every day he looks more and more like Yoda right before he dies

Casus belli? More like casus I said so!

This is just all a distraction from the fact that always wanted to do this

Anthropic to be replaced by Defense Dept with Misanthropic, a company that looks curiously similar but sports a goatee

“How does it feel to be trans in the US these days?” Kinda like this?

Anthropic to be replaced by Defense Dept with Misanthropic, a company that looks curiously similar but sports a goatee

Waiting for Publishers Queering House to come bring me my big gay check

Realizing maybe it’s not normal for a person to have catch phrases but I’ll be damned if I stop saying “And that’s the Callie difference” whenever I do something well or do something weird

A great alternative protein that does more to help the world and environment than any other is billionaire meat

Progressive is proud to introduce Gender insurance for your child. For a low price, if within 18 years your child’s AGAB is found to be incorrect you will receive: -One cool trans kid you will care for and support (violations will invalidate policy) -$25,000 for transition related expenses

Waiting for Publishers Queering House to come bring me my big gay check

Found this in the photo album and I haven’t aged a day in 20 years

Realizing maybe it’s not normal for a person to have catch phrases but I’ll be damned if I stop saying “And that’s the Callie difference” whenever I do something well or do something weird

Progressive is proud to introduce Gender insurance for your child. For a low price, if within 18 years your child’s AGAB is found to be incorrect you will receive: -One cool trans kid you will care for and support (violations will invalidate policy) -$25,000 for transition related expenses

Can’t believe Februany is almost over

As in “technocrats increasingly demanding that society adopt AI”

Yall I got a good fucking chance of winning $100 million tomorrow

Fun fact: Caesar crossed the Rubik’s cube using lateral thinking, much like Alexander untying the gordian knot with a sword swipe, Caesar just took off the stickers and completed the sides that way.

Kinda crazy that the whole internet is supported by the “Man that Grocery Stores Hate” and that one cardiologist who keeps begging me not to eat this one thing for breakfast.