If your uber is a Tesla you’re in a pedocab

Having a selection of social media is fun because each one provides a different kind of trauma so you can pick how to ruin your day

European clergy when they hear there are another two massive continents full of people

Greenland is a distraction from Maduro which is a distraction from Epstein which is a distraction from Ukraine which is a distraction from crypto corruption which is a distraction from trans persecution which is a direction from ICE and it’s all a distraction from grocery prices

How would invading Greenland not end with China moving on Taiwan?

Greenland is a distraction from Maduro which is a distraction from Epstein which is a distraction from Ukraine which is a distraction from crypto corruption which is a distraction from trans persecution which is a direction from ICE and it’s all a distraction from grocery prices

Does milk count as processed food since it’s grass and grain turned into a beverage via meat-housed biological processes?

Giving up on voice training and just going to use my Flintheart Glomgold impression for the rest of my life because my family says it’s “so good”, and “impressive” and “okay that’s enough” and “Callie you’re scaring us”. (We’ve been watching a lot of Ducktales, 2017, and it’s affected me)

Dude looks like he’s going to ask you to get him six swamp bear pelts and then pays you 100 gold for em.

Carbon neutral? Nah, I’m carbon based.

Putting “transgender for everyone” in the grindr profile to get more attention

Remaking the world order via Risk setup rules and having people take turns placing their pieces in the map

Joy and wonder are a choice you can make, it’s fun and nice and free and the world would be better if more people embraced it

Roman senate: We grant you the new and resplendent title “Augustus”! We just came up with it. Augustus: Oh cool, what does it mean? Senate: Uh, idk, like, that you’re a real cool handsome smart leader guy? Idgaf, you figure it out.

Trump is so small minded that he wants to become king of the biggest empire on planet right now instead of emperor or making up some cool new title for an autocrat smh

I see they’re positioning Ilana Glazer to be the next Joan Rivers which is messed up because that job should go to a catty trans woman. (It’s me, I’m a catty trans woman)

I wear so much foundation the Trump admin is trying to cancel my funding

I dream of a future where a trans woman getting dogpiled is just some kink involving a bunch of puppygirls

When you play Cats in the Cradle backwards this is what you hear

Me entering 2016 vs me entering 2026

Adding Marisa Tomei and Joe Pesci in My Cousin Vinny to my canon of fictional T4T couples

I dream of a future where a trans woman getting dogpiled is just some kink involving a bunch of puppygirls

Did a quick internet check to see if my Twitter actually got deleted, and it did, but I also didn’t realize this tweet made the “This week in lgbtq twitter” on LGBTQ Nation back in ‘22 so that’s fun (Previous name on there don’t tell anyone)

I talk about Mamdani so much my partner is worried I’ve developed democratic parasocialist relationship

Adding Marisa Tomei and Joe Pesci in My Cousin Vinny to my canon of fictional T4T couples

MUSIC TRIVIA: Noted musician and producer Jack White is, in fact, actually a divorced couple

This year I’m going to sincerely try to take a page out of the books of the folks that make the no/low budget movies that I love and just lean into my art and writing with enthusiastic abandon and little care of what anyone will think.

I think this was my favorite art i done in 2025

I talk about Mamdani so much my partner is worried I’ve developed democratic parasocialist relationship

MUSIC TRIVIA: Noted musician and producer Jack White is, in fact, actually a divorced couple

“Usher?! I hardly know her!” “Who are you, JD Vance?” -Dynamic comedy duo, Callie and her Partner

I know we don’t do “norms” anymore but been thinking about how Napoleon got exiled to islands TWICE because of what a dangerous precedent executing heads of state could set

“Chatbots aren’t like Ouija boards, they can actually summon demons.” -Me, dropping some of my best parenting advice yet

“Chatbots aren’t like Ouija boards, they can actually summon demons.” -Me, dropping some of my best parenting advice yet

President assures nation that “this kind of thing won’t happen to white countries”.

“I stick to my diet except on my cheat days, my mistress always wants me to take her to nice restaurants so I don’t want to limit myself.”

Going to Polymarket to bet that ChatGPT will become self aware before Bari Weiss

Okay but I also probably would’ve said Rebel Girl by Bikini Kill and there were no signs y’all I don’t know why people keep saying there were signs

Grok, download the hard drives of everyone who has asked you to make any erotic content and send them to every police department and newspaper in the country

Suing Mr Beast for stealing my trademark pre transition facial expression of “happy person whose smile doesn’t match the deep and unquenchable sadness in their eyes”

Get your own personal digital straw man to take responsibility for your bad actions today!

Get your own personal digital straw man to take responsibility for your bad actions today!

I learned too much about wine when I was trying to be a guy because I double classed as a bon vivant and a dandy, as they were the least manly ways to be manly

Grok, download the hard drives of everyone who has asked you to make any erotic content and send them to every police department and newspaper in the country

My New Year’s resolution is to use the word “draculated” more

We accidentally discovered Special Forces Revolt on NYE. It’s about a guy with Down’s syndrome who wakes in a fascist hellscape and takes on President Donald J Kruger. It’a Tromaesque, so it’s offensive, gross, hilarious, and understand the underdog better than most.

Reassuring my partner that I didn’t spend too much on champagne for New Year’s (Because it was a cremant de Loire)

According to Apple Music I listened to a lot of upbeat songs about death and the end of the world and yup that sounds right

Alright, you Americans, tomorrow is the last holiday most of you will have off until May so make it count!

Non-op privilege is being able to pee standing because someone vomited on the toilet seat