I just learned that Dramamine and Benadryl are the same histamine

Why must my brain see connections I didn’t want to see, I could have lived my whole life without knowing that

Who’s tracking Santa he left his belt here last year and I need to try to catch him

Not even halfway through this shift and I am so very over it

fridays like, im on federal holiday here's some work and a destroyed house knock yourself out

You wanna know how it looks, I wanna know how it feels

Time to take down the butthole from the top of the tree

We need more posts about reading books, holding hands, and worshipping the dark lord.

Upsetting flatware continued

I hope you get hit by a flaming rock that smells like shit ~ complimentary

frankie let me sleeb challenge level: impossible

These all look like words but I am so very American

I have 3 days to finish my last book of the year, but I still won't make my goal of 60.

glitching through life

My cat is playing with a catnip mouse this morning and she’s in there singing it an entire ballad

And the award for best neckwear goes to... Well, would you look at that! It's a tie!

Please read Tippi’s alt text, dear reader

begging the smooth move gods to bless me on this twenty sixth day of december

my youngest asking me to build legos at 730am after xmas..... not awesome🤣🤣🤣💀

let's do this✨✨✨

Life's too short not to kiss people on the cheek. Just make sure you get consent for the one south of the equator.

All shirts are reversible if you don't give a shit

🖤

circling the loop looking for my sense

Sister visit morning protocol day 2 Not as successful. Piper is hiding in an undisclosed, unsecured location Chaos may ensue when the dogs return from the walk Pray for me

I put the Cristmas cheer in fuck off

Happy Friday, Skeethearts! ☕️☀️🩷

Happy Return Christmas Gifts Day to those who celebrate!

Great suggestions

santa got mr. snuggles a friend🤣 they are watching my daughter build legos

Lovely meal! For dessert I'll have my butthole. Just a little lick for taste. ~ cats

😘

Good morning Happy Friday Happy St. Stephen's Day Happy Boxing Day. May whatever your day is, may it be a magical one. Look for the pops of kindness and happiness and joy! Cheers! ☘️

Something is going around. And my dumb ass caught it.

Walking past the airline gate flying to my hometown and glaring at everyone

I bet the first guy who threw shit into a fan had no idea what a legacy he would leave behind.

Remember when we thought he was just throwing his voice into a fan to sound like Darth Vader, it's much worse 🏆👑 Congratulations @amishsupermodel.bsky.social from @nahyoudoit.bsky.social

him: license and registration, please me: *slides him fish* him: ... me: *slides him another fish* him: have a good day, sir

What do you call potheads from Pennsylvania? Keystoners.

Forgot the term counterintelligence agent and called them super sexy ninja spy fighters.

After New Year's I don't have any more time off until July. I'm sure I'll be fine.

i am not as into it now that i know shane is straight irl

Morning everyone. *starts coffee and puts out bagels* Yesterday was a glorious Christmas. Which means today will suck.

Incoming snowstorm and nowhere to be but home. ☺️

Welcome to your 50's boys, your bladder now complies with the government's low-flow water fixture policy.

You’re the paragon of level-headed response.

My last two brain cells are fighting for dominance.

*slaps your hand and tells you to stop internalizing*